Attitudes to Good Friday
rhubarb
Shipmate
The way the community reacts to Good Friday has changed significantly in my lifetime. At one time all the shops were closed and it was a day of mourning and contemplation.
Now where I live, many shops are open, football matches take place and Easter egg hunts are held for children, Many people go away for the whole Easter break and don't attend any church services.
However, I was shocked to hear of a change of attitude by a local church which has advertised Good Friday at their church will be a day of fun and frolicking. I'm sure we don't behave like this at a friend's death and funeral day, so why would a church announce such a change? Am I old fashioned in voicing disapproval?
Now where I live, many shops are open, football matches take place and Easter egg hunts are held for children, Many people go away for the whole Easter break and don't attend any church services.
However, I was shocked to hear of a change of attitude by a local church which has advertised Good Friday at their church will be a day of fun and frolicking. I'm sure we don't behave like this at a friend's death and funeral day, so why would a church announce such a change? Am I old fashioned in voicing disapproval?
Comments
I tend to think churches that treat the day as funereal or a day of mourning are maybe missing the point of the day a little. Not that I think it’s a happy day, but it’s something other than funereal and mourning to me. It’s participation in a mystery that starts on Maundy Thursday and goes through to Easter.
That said, a church advertising Good Friday as a day of fun and frolic does seem really odd. Like Gramps, I’m curious what their thinking is.
One of the "non-denominational" ones?
What you set out in your first paragraph is further evidence that ours is no longer a society influenced by religion.
Yep. Where I grew up, all the local churches would get together on Good Friday for an ecumenical procession of witness down the main road and finish with a service at the local cinema. Traffic was always very light, although by law we were obliged to have a police escort for safety reasons. This consisted of two police officers - one at the front of the procession and the other at the back. Over the years, the traffic got much heavier and as a consequence the police escort gradually got a lot bigger. We experienced a lot of aggression from some motorists and we saw one person get pulled over by the police for trying to drive through the middle of us, nearly running several people over.
I don’t live there any more, but I’m still in contact with a few people from my old church. The procession no longer takes place as it had become too dangerous to continue. 🙁
At least they don’t call it “Easter Friday”. (Well, I hope they don’t)
Personally I avoid shopping and generally keep a quiet, reflective day if I can, but would not expect everyone else to do so.
In my small town there used to be two processions, each led by someone carrying a cross, meeting in the market square for a short service. (Spoilt by the noise of the bus engine as it waited in the square. ) This used to be well supported, and was followed by an ecumenical service in one of the churches. Now, the procession does not happen because of traffic. The vicar has opted out of the ecumenical service. He even said once that Friday is his day off!
Where I lived in London (late 80s/early 90s) we used to have an Ecumenical Walk of Witness culminating in a service at the local shops. Pretty pointless actually as there was no-one around to see us! More recently I took part in a Walk around the (pedestrianised) centre of Ipswich which was well worth the effort as the shops were busy and the market was in full swing.
No obvious place to do this where I am now.
But a quick search tells me that a local large independent church is having a Good Friday Fun Day, which surprises me.
(And Romans 14:4-6 is relevant here).
Depends on the kids!
Of course, the RC, Anglican and Methodist contingent were keen that it was a solemn observance of the events of Good Friday. The Baptists and Pentecostals, however, being less liturgically minded, were keen to take the rare chance of officially sanctioned public evangelism, and wanted to fill the service with personal testimonies and an altar call.
Every year we somehow worked our way through the tension and, in the words of Henry Higgins "Rather than do either, you do something else that neither likes at all".
As an adult, in my corner of London there was (and still is, I believe, though I no longer live there) a walk of witness involving all the churches in the area, of every denomination. Over the years it's gone from a silent walk with crosses and placards, through some rather scary years when someone read gory bits of the Passion narrative in KJV through a megaphone, and in recent years a walk with hymns and songs being sung, and leaflets given out with details of all the local church services. We've also given chocolate eggs to any bystanders who want them. It isn't jolly by any means, but neither is it silent and forbidding.
We then have a short service in the market place, followed by walking up to the local Methodist/URC church for a longer united service.
However, I have always felt saddened that non-churchgoers only see half the story. Easter Sunday is like a ghost town - no shops open, most people have gone away, all the Christians are in their churches and there's absolutely no joy to be had outside.
My dream has always been for the churches to throw a huge celebratory party on Easter Day, with live music, crafts, free chocolate eggs, activities for children and so on.
I know it's never going to happen, because as a child of the vicarage I understand the slog of Holy Week and Easter services, and I know the last thing most clergy want to do on Easter Day is more Stuff With Other People. But I do wish we put more thought into how we share the joy of Easter outside our church buildings.
We normally have a Palm Sunday walk in conjunction with our friends at the local Catholic and Uniting churches. Not very far, just around a few suburban streets. No walk this year as there was continual heavy rain.
It's a long time ago, but IIRC shops were open, and the High Street quite busy (the walk began at about 10am), and I expect we had some sort of police escort. I doubt if it's done now, on account of present-day traffic, as others have said.
One of Our Place's neighbouring churches is holding what they refer to as *Good Friday Events*, beginning at Church A at 11am on Good Friday:
Worship, children's workshop, lunch and then a walk of witness to the service of reflections at the foot of the cross at Church B.
This seems to me to be quite a good way of involving both churches (it's a united benefice) and differing age-groups. The walk will probably involve mostly residential roads (which can, however, be fairly busy at any time of day), and a railway level crossing - happily, there is an adjacent footbridge!
Our Place itself offers only the Solemn Liturgy - nothing for children or young families - but this is probably due to a lack of available help, as it would be feasible to have some sort of children's activities in the Hall whilst the Liturgy was under way in the Church.
As far as Our Town generally is concerned, I daresay all the shops will be open, and the roads choked with traffic as people try to get to the Magic Land of Away...
While I would see it as “turning the clock forward” to the Heavenly Banquet. But I recognize that different understandings of Communion may be at play, and I think we’ve plowed this ground before.
The Greek Orthodox here—and I assume elsewhere—hold their Easter (Pascha) liturgy during the night late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, similar to the Easter Vigil. They then go home, get some sleep, and come back to the church around lunchtime for a big, joyous picnic and celebration. I really like that way of doing it.
A throwback to the days when Good Friday was the only holiday Farm Workers got - even then they had to go to church in the afternoon or lose their job.
I don't see it as a day of fun nor as a day of unremitting gloom (it's "Good" after all). It's a day to remember and be thankful, time to reflect in the busyness of a holiday weekend.
Over the years church wise I have been part of, walked on, spoken at and organised an outdoor service or readings. I'm ambivalent today on that score as fewer people attend and even less listen or even stop. The new Jerusalem (fronting onto a shopping street) has a giveaway event on Saturday with coffee and craft: it's usually pretty popular as its usually combined with a street and poster quiz.
Conversely in Merseyside, where I have lived for the best part of fifty years, Catholicism has influenced the general culture. There used to be a Walk of Witness (with no haranguing!) through the city centre and virtually nothing was open except for a couple of Indian-owned grocery stores. Since GF became an official Bank Holiday, paradoxically, more and more shops have opened, there is a holiday atmosphere, and Good Friday has reverted to being a church-centred commemoration for the few.
*I am well aware of, and very thankful for, the existence of many non-dour Methodists, But I think at that time and place dour was the default mode (for Anglicans and others too).
I'm curious whether "fun and frolicking" is their wording or @rhubarb 's
Hehe...yes, that, and the enormous Coach Park known as the Port of Dover...
The church of my youth would run a "children's Good Friday workshop": various Easter craft activities, including Easter gardens interspersed with explaining the symbolism of what they were making and telling the story. Fun was had, but the meaning was not forgotten.
My current church ( C of E, very low and very rarely acknowledges the liturgical year these days ) will be doing an "Easter family fun day" for the first time on Saturday. Easter egg hunt is part of it I believe; no mention of any sombre aspect.
Equally, a children's Good Friday workshop is a Good Idea, if it's feasible.
Each church has to work out what's best for them, though if churches get together and co-operate to provide various things, that's surely a good witness to an otherwise disinterested post-Christian society.
At the new Jerusalem of blessed memory we ran activities on the Saturday - for many of the families in this Urban Deprivation Area it was the one free thing they could come to. Without it the children would have had very little. Incidentally an asylum seeker centre was close by and lots of people came from there too.
Our Place uses Easter Eve/Holy Saturday to clear the church of all the manifold veils put up two weeks ago - a process that takes hours - as well as doing a general clean-up, and preparing the Easter Garden. They usually get it all finished by early afternoon, but then it's back to the church later for the 8pm Vigil. An afternoon activity for children would be a bit too much, but I certainly think it's worth considering some sort of family activity in the Hall during the Good Friday Liturgy, with everyone meeting up afterwards for hot cross buns!
The church's advertisement is not my words. I fear that their target audience is holiday visitors looking for ways to entertain their children.
Fixed coding - Nenya, Ecclesiantics Host
It's a lot of fun. Between the service and the going home, however, there is a potluck in the parish house where we drink vodka and have bits of things we were denied during Lent -- meat, cheese, vodka, aspic (bleh), and vodka.
In a way, this is evidence against my post, but for many years St Sanity, along with the local Catholic Churches, have held a joint walk on Palm Sunday. (This year's was cancelled due to heavy rain.). The walk is though a mix of a residential area and local shops - which include coffee shops and other places where those not in church spend their Sunday mornings. As we walk, we sing "All glory, laud and honour". One year, we were towards the end of the procession. The procession goes past a bus stop and by the time we walked past, a woman waiting for a bus had joined in the singing. Talk about evangelism!
Actually at our previous church I made a pitcher of martinis and went about the crowd handing out glasses thereof. One guy, a member of the choir who was a hell of a nice guy, always wanted his very dirty.
How do you deal with the possibility that someone there has an issue with alcohol?
What's your issue with Messy Church? What then, in your view constitutes acceptable childrens' activities?
Actually my issue is that it's officially billed as being for everyone when it's clearly aimed at children in particular. Much like all age services, it suggests that somehow normal church services aren't for all ages. Also as someone who as a child who would have hated Messy Church, it's generally not great for neurodiverse children.
I believe that one reason why church attendance is dropping is that people are not engaged, young people in particular, and as soon as those young people can drop out of the Sunday Morning tedium, they do so.
A perennial problem on SoF and in Church circles in general is we fail to recognise that most people there are that unusual remnant who weren't bored out of the pews in their youth. Of our three offspring, one is an atheist, one goes because she likes helping in the creche, and the middle one dropped out as soon as he could because he didn't find anything to make him go.
We indulge in massive victim blaming of people voting with their feet. We say that people should be thinking about what they have to contribute, not to receive. We tell people who find it boring that it must be they who are boring (yes, I have heard that on these very decks). We tell people they need to "work at it". We accuse them of coming with the wrong attitude, of wanting to be entertained. But the churches continue to empty, and older children are particularly absent. Often as not the younger ones are there with their grandparents rather than their parents.
I'm not convinced that things like Messy Church are an answer to anything, but our regular services are not engaging to the majority of people in some demographics either.
You forgot to mention more vodka.
1. IME it depends on how you organise it. I've always provided options for all ages
2. See 1. above (to a certain extent). Taking the advice of those who are neuro diverse or who are carers for neuro diverse people, meant adapting our version of Messy Church as well as every Sunday Service. One of the leaders is neuro diverse. The one suggestion from one neuro diverse person which we didn't follow - was not to hold it at all. I suspect there were other axes to grind even when we tried to explore from both sides avenues for participation.
I'd be really interested in your take on how to engage people whether that imvolves participation and/or observation
Just because I can see the problems doesn't mean I know the solutions.
On the other hand kids at Mass are not necessarily paying any attention, nor are they necessarily expected to sit still in the pews. Plus there's the much bigger emphasis on Sunday (and other Holy Days of Obligation) Mass attendance in the RC tradition.
And what do you think they're doing that the rest of us are not?