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Taking a break

ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
in All Saints
Has anyone taken a break from church? Has anyone taken a break from their denomination?

Where I am I am struggling in the local Orthodox churches. Over Christmas I went to a lovely nearby Anglican church a few times but I feel a bit odd sitting up the back just letting it wash over me. I did the same at a Catholic cathedral 4 hours away when I had a short stint there -- it felt nice to be honest. I just feel in a position of apathy and disinterest. Not unusual for me but after returning after a 10 year break it hasn't been smooth sailing.

My faith is a strong as ever which makes me feel even weirder.

Curious as to others' experiences if you feel like sharing. Thank you.

Comments

  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    IMHO attending a different branch of the Christian church doesn't really qualify as a break--more like a vacation? Visiting relatives? :smile:

    People need different things at different times. No problem with that. If God really wants you somewhere, he's perfectly capable of arranging matters so you end up there, willy nilly... given your faith, if he's not doing that, I think you can safely assume he's okay with you visiting around.

    My own life has basically forced me to attend certain churches whether I want to be there or not--and to stop attending others where I really would like to be. That's what I mean by arranging matters. And in my own case, I'm pretty sure his reasoning had a lot more to do with our missionary service and the people we cared for, than particulars about the local expression of the Christian faith. In your case, too, he may be far more concerned with other matters--your health, happiness, wellbeing of the present--than whether you are, just this moment, at the place where you used to be and where you expect to end up again.
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    There was a time I took a break. About a year in length. But at the end I found myself needing to return to the nurturing community we had been members of. I remember sneaking into the building just to walk around a bit, but the pastor heard me in the sanctuary, came out and embraced me like a lost brother. Never left since.

    Blessings on your explorations. Many people do it. You have to find the level you are comfortable with.
  • Graven ImageGraven Image Shipmate
    I did so because of circumstances. We had moved to a new area because of the need for medical care for my husband. I could not leave him alone, and truth be told, even if I could, I was too exhausted to make the effort. It was a unique time spiritually, and it turned out to be something that was precious as I lived my own unique spiritual life and prayed; it felt like going on a spiritual retreat. Following his passing, my return to worship with the new church community was a joy and a blessing.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Thank you all for taking the time to respond and sharing your personal experiences and your thoughts. I appreciate it.

    I'm not sure if "converting" into a denomination from another gives it a stronger hold than otherwise. But I take your comments and a change seems like the only way I'm going to darken a church door.
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    Speaking as a church leader--

    We've had people from various denominations maintain their faithful affiliation with their home denomination even as they worshipped with us for a season--sometimes quite a long while, years, really. One was doing so because of distance; another was drawn for personal reasons, I think. Nobody saw it as a problem to my knowledge. If anything, it was an enrichment for us who were visited, and I think it was so for our visitors/temporary members.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    That was a big concern in my head. Thank you for writing what you did.
  • CathscatsCathscats Shipmate
    I’ve been taking a break from regular Sunday worship for three years now. This has solved the problem of wanting to throw things at the long-winded minister, and so far as most people know it’s because I work (in tourism) on Sundays. Like you, @Climacus, my faith is as strong as ever, if not more so now that I’m not being a “professional” Christian (I was a minister, and, I’m told, a good one). I certainly feel freer. I get a dose of church on a Monday when I listen to a recorded service from an old friend in America, but of course it’s not the same as being there. (Also, I have no desire to throw things at him…)
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    When our children were small we took a break from the fellowship we were part of and attended the local Baptist church. They were lovely to us and the minister at the time said, "Use us as much or as little as you wish: if you decide to become members that's great and if you don't that's great as well." I like @Lamb Chopped 's idea of it being like visiting relatives. :smile:
  • A Feminine ForceA Feminine Force Shipmate
    I'm on a break. A sixteen year break.

    Since I left my Baptist congregation 16 years ago I haven't found a congregation I have felt at home in. I don't really expect to, given my heretical leanings.

    I miss the singing and the praying. I'm an introvert, and I don't really find large gatherings of people to be "safe" places to be. I hate being "the new kid" (my parents moved around I went to seven schools in 13 years). Never did very well in a group setting, church-wise or corporation-wise.

    Maybe I'll write a different script for my next incarnation.

    AFF
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    Technically one does not convert from one denomination to another. Both denominations are Christian. It is all in the same family. It is like going to a large family reunion, one may move from one grouping to another grouping depending on interest level at the time.

    At least in my book.
  • CaissaCaissa Shipmate
    Ms C. and I stopped attending the parish I grew up in about 5 years ago. We find the Anglican Church of Canada to be too conservative, have life-less repetitive liturgies and we cannot support its stance on equal marriage. Our oldest son is the sound tech still (recently elected to vestry) and our youngest son a server.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I took a bit of a break when I moved back to Scotland after David died; I was staying with my sister (who hasn't been a churchgoer for quite some time) and anyway, Covid had just struck, and the churches were closed.

    If I'd been able to afford to buy somewhere to live in Edinburgh, I'd probably have started attending the Cathedral (I'd been worshipping in assorted cathedrals for the previous 40 years), but that was fiscally non-viable.

    Fast forward to early 2021, when I'd got my own flat in Linlithgow, and discovered that the local Piskie church was literally across the road, so I started going there. I was made to feel very welcome, and within a short time had been asked to join the Vestry. The only thing I miss is proper music*, but I like the community, and feel at home there.

    * which I've managed to get, at least a few times a year, by joining Scottish Voices.
  • PuzzlerPuzzler Shipmate
    Jumping ship and finding refuge rather than taking a break, on two occasions.

    When I left home to go to university, I went along to the church that was popular with many students. A few months later I was baptised and confirmed as an Anglican, leaving aside my non-conformist upbringing.

    Some years later, I resigned from the choir of the church I attended, resigned as PCC secretary and everything else and stopped going, as I was just too busy with the demands of a promotion at work and travelling to support my elderly parents. Definitely “taking a break”.

    More recently a seismic shift of leadership at my parish church where I was closely involved led to up to 45 of us quitting. I was already a co-opted extra member of the choir of a nearby village church, which subsequently became my spiritual home. Both churches are now in vacancy, so we’ll see what happens.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Frequently.
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    Which makes me wonder, what makes you (us, whatever) come back?
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Lamb Chopped wrote: »
    Which makes me wonder, what makes you (us, whatever) come back?

    In this case to put relatives off who keep asking "have you found a church yet?"
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    Oh fuck. (Sorry)
  • mark_in_manchestermark_in_manchester Shipmate
    Lamb Chopped wrote: »
    Speaking as a church leader--

    We've had people from various denominations maintain their faithful affiliation with their home denomination even as they worshipped with us for a season--sometimes quite a long while, years, really. One was doing so because of distance; another was drawn for personal reasons, I think. Nobody saw it as a problem to my knowledge. If anything, it was an enrichment for us who were visited, and I think it was so for our visitors/temporary members.

    I hope its OK ( @KarlLB I am mindful of your comment just above and don't want to 'rub it in' for you) to pick this up and just mention for @Climacus that I don't think I'm unusual amongst churchgoers in echoing LCs point - if I found out that someone, perhaps one of all those kids who have been through our church and who don't come anymore - was part of a church community somewhere else, I'd be really, really pleased. I'd be really really pleased if they didn't go anywhere but had a faith, and pretty pleased if they remembered us fondly, even if faith was elusive for them. The only folks I can think of I might be less pleased about might be the odd bossy person who has made a fuss, messed something up, and then left a degree of destruction in their wake following some kind of flounce. There haven't been too many of those, and I try not to be one either. I'm sure you are not one, so you're in the clear to visit those rellies :)
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    Truthfully, we don't fuss if we find out that people are dividing their time at the same time between two Christian groups (provided there's not some other issue, like the other group being something dangerous like a hate group). If it's just two churches at once, we assume they have their reasons, and I'm pleased to see that level of involvement rather than upset by it.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Thank you again all for sharing your experiences and thoughts. I do appreciate it and they are helpful.

    Sorry to hear KarlLB also.
  • North East QuineNorth East Quine Purgatory Host
    We took a break when the congregation of which we had been members slowly imploded following the arrest and imprisonment of the minister. We stuck it out for quite some time, but the congregation was dwindling and becoming ever more toxic.

    We were deeply disillusioned; it was a very bleak time.

    What got us back to church was the imminent arrival of our second child. We knew we wanted our children to have a church community and we knew we would want to have her baptised. I think we would have a longer break were it not for that.

    The church we joined was a very happy place for us. The problems in the former church were well known, and I suspect ministers elsewhere were primed to treat those starting afresh sensitively.

    When, eight years later we moved house to our present home we started to split our time between our old church, some distance away, and our new local church. My husband was the treasurer of the old church and we had agreed to keep attending the old until a new treasurer could be found. Lets just say there was not a queue of eager would-be treasurers!!

    The minister of our new church's eyes lit up when we explained we would be attending intermittently owing to our ongoing commitment to the previous church. Clearly "a commitment to being a church treasurer" was a quality he regarded highly! We had about a year of splitting our time before moving to our current church.
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