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Lending Books

NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
edited July 4 in Heaven
On the ascetics thread in Purgatory there's a brief tangent into the notion of lending books.

@Eigon said: "I learned the hard way that, if I was going to lend books, I should buy two copies - one that I didn't part with, and one that could go out into the world and maybe come back eventually. I moved house recently with 25 boxes of books. Some are from childhood, others are favourite authors that I go back to occasionally, some are non-fiction that I refer to (mostly local history) and some are new authors that I'm starting to collect."

I never lend books unless I don't mind not getting them back (or it's to someone who I know values their books as deeply as I do) because of past unfortunate experiences which include people losing one of my books, insisting that they've returned it (So why is there a gap on my shelf where it belongs?) or returning it damaged - "I took it camping and it got a bit wet." (With no apology.) :flushed:

I get pretty annoyed by people who assume they can borrow my books. Recently I was telling the friend who had previously lost one of mine about another (very precious) book I have. "Oh, I might need to borrow that one, Nen," "No. I'll bring it to show you. I don't lend it."

What about other Shipmates' attitudes to lending their books?

What about lending other things?

Comments

  • chrisstileschrisstiles Hell Host
    I'd generally rather give books to people than lend them. The books I end up keeping are - for the most part - highly personal and/or out of print/hard to get otherwise.
  • CaissaCaissa Shipmate
    edited July 4
    Sometimes I lend books that I am happy to not to see again. For example, I have lent Sal Khan's latest book on the use of generative AI to a colleague after I read it. I found Khan's treatment of the issue disappointingly superficial. ( He has a TED Talk on the topic for those who are interested in a short version of his thoughts https://www.ted.com/talks/sal_khan_how_ai_could_save_not_destroy_education)

    I just leant another book to one of my staff and know where to find it if I need it. (An academic tome on ableism in education),
  • quetzalcoatlquetzalcoatl Shipmate
    Yes, I got fed up with lending books and never seeing them again. I had a lovely catalogue of Edward Hopper, and lent it to a client, who seemed to lose it. I often see gaps, that is, books I used to have, but went missing. I don't mind so much now, since I read much less. But I've done the same, I have a letter of Jung's, borrowed from a friend 20 years ago.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    chrisstiles wrote: »
    I'd generally rather give books to people than lend them. The books I end up keeping are - for the most part - highly personal and/or out of print/hard to get otherwise.

    Same here.

    I never lend books - or anything else - but will cheerfully give books (or anything else) as an unconditional gift.
  • Bob Two OwlsBob Two Owls Shipmate
    I make well known to my friends that books without an ex libris plate are long term loans, anything with an ex libris plate is two or three weeks unless previously agreed for the duration of a project. Mind you, I found my missing third volume of Martial, complete with bookplate under my friends coffee table after six months AWOL. We had words.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Ah - words. Easily said (not pointing fingers at you @Bob Two Owls BTW) but not so easily unsaid.

    One of the reasons I don't lend...
  • finelinefineline Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    I give books rather than lend them. Partly because I don't want to keep track in my mind of people owing me books, and partly because my home is overly full of books, which I have accumulated over the years from charity shops, and I am actively trying to read them and then give them away. If I want to keep a book after reading it, I won't lend it. People can buy these books themselves from charity shops, or borrow from the library.

    Also, when people spontaneously offer to lend me a book, I tend to decline. I don't want that responsibility - I actually find it more of an issue when people try to push a book loan onto me than when they ask to borrow a book. If they ask to borrow, I just say I don't lend books, but they can have it when I've read it, and they accept that. But if they want me to borrow a book of theirs that they liked, and I decline, saying I prefer not to borrow books, in case I lose or damage it, they persist. And often it's not even the kind of book I would enjoy anyway!
  • TurquoiseTasticTurquoiseTastic Kerygmania Host
    I BORROW BOOKS AND THEN FORGET TO GIVE THEM BACK

    FORGIVE ME MY SIN MY GRIEVOUS SIN

  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    C S Lewis maintained the only books allowed in Heaven are the ones you 'loaned' to others. All the damage thereby done to them by the loanee - dirty fingerprints, dog ears, underlining and the like - will in Heaven be turned into illuminated letters and gilding.

    I do hope so!
  • chrisstileschrisstiles Hell Host
    Bob Two Owls wrote: »
    I make well known to my friends that books without an ex libris plate are long term loans, anything with an ex libris plate is two or three weeks unless previously agreed for the duration of a project.

    What sort of ex libris plate/stamp do you use?
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    This is a university town. A big thing around here is the small lending library stands one finds around the neighborhoods. No one expects to see the books returned.
  • Stercus TauriStercus Tauri Shipmate
    Gramps49 wrote: »
    This is a university town. A big thing around here is the small lending library stands one finds around the neighborhoods. No one expects to see the books returned.

    You might try checking them for your own missing books if they are in the neighbourhood of a formerly trusted friend...

    I find that ministers are some of the worst. Helping a friend clean out his church office we once found a box labelled "other people's books".
  • Bob Two OwlsBob Two Owls Shipmate
    chrisstiles wrote: »
    What sort of ex libris plate/stamp do you use?

    I use a nice stamp I got from Etsy and a big box of Avery labels I liberated from a bin. The stamp wasn't cheap but then neither are books. Its a view along the deck of a sailing ship with a lovely 1930s feel to it.
  • PriscillaPriscilla Shipmate
    A friend of ours is notorious for borrowing books and not returning them. He then takes a box of books to Hay and comes home with a different box of books!
  • CathscatsCathscats Shipmate
    I heard today of a Landed family in NE Scotland who in the 18th century kept a record of the books borrowed from their personal library, including date, by whom borrowed and when returned. They mainly were returned, and the books were being made available to their tenants as well as their friends.

    The librarian telling me this noted that this could not be construed a record of what people were reading, as there was no hard evidence that the books were always read, but might sometimes have been being borrowed to impress!
  • Graven ImageGraven Image Shipmate
    I lend some that I don't mind if they go missing, others I gift, and some I keep at home.
  • RuthRuth Shipmate
    TurquoiseTastic wrote: »
    I BORROW BOOKS AND THEN FORGET TO GIVE THEM BACK

    FORGIVE ME MY SIN MY GRIEVOUS SIN

    When people offer to lend me books I decline, and if they press me I just tell them they'll never see the book again.
  • TwangistTwangist Shipmate
    This thread is scaring me. It's all very awkward. Lending records and cds is also very tricky.
  • Augustine the AleutAugustine the Aleut Shipmate
    When I lend a book, I will usually never expect to see them again. I have about a thousand sitting about, and have passed on about 200 since my retirement. While I admire the pharaonic example of furnishing the afterlife with necessities (which will of course contain my Trollope collection and the Dictionary of Canadian Biography), I do not know if I can reasonably arrange it. I have received firm statements of non-compliance from several roller derby athletes who are not inclined to serve me in the afterlife, a source of some sorrow.

    I also have a few dozen books I would love to abandon but were given to me by deceased relatives and friends, and symbolize those connexions.

    I have about 20 books for which I obtained grants or somehow midwifed their production, and they are signed (often generously) by the authors. I am trying to figure out how I can pass on the selection-- perhaps to one of the two local universies' schools of Canadian Studies. My 40+ Camino books now form the core of the local association's lending library.

    Ever since my precious copy of the Battle of Baltinglass, loaned to a moderately prominent political activist, came back waterlogged and board-warped, I do not lend out anything important.
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