Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • "Dragon prompts police road safety advice" has just slipped off the BBC homepage.
    Sounds reasonable. If a dragon gives me advice I take it.
    Especially - as in this case - in Wales.

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited February 2019
    From the WaPo, and an article entitled 'Investigation finds no evidence of ‘racist or offensive statements’ by Covington Catholic students during incident on Mall that went viral':
    In a joint statement with the school, the diocese denounced the boys’s behavior the day after the march [...] (Italics mine)

    The Invasion of the Extra Possessive S? - Now that's offensive! :neutral:
  • mousethief wrote: »

    Is there another kind of bologna sandwich?

  • Seen on a bumper sticker:

    My heroes were military uniforms

    Sweetie, don't bore Miss Amanda with your fetishes, and she won't bore you with hers.
  • sic?
  • mousethief wrote: »
    sic?

    Yes
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Were the bologna sandwiches making a noise in the street, slamming car doors at night, or moaning loudly about how the other sandwiches didn't understand them?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Teenage bologna sandwiches, clearly.
  • Teenage mutant ninja bologna sandwiches.
  • Presumably not Organic, then?
  • Definitely GMO
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From the WaPo again:
    Trump grows frustrated with Coats, leading some to fear he might be fired
    Items of clothing phobia finishes off current POTUS incumbant; a sweet thought. (After all he's afraid of stairs too.)
  • [back up the page]
    Free-range, grass-fed baloney
  • From the BBC 'Greater Manchester plans to fine polluting vehicles' - I do hope the vehicles will pay up
  • From today's "Ipswich Star" - not really funny but seems bizarre: "Man stashed axe down his trousers before trying to bite policeman’s nose off, court told". The anatomical contortions are intriguing.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    From today's "Ipswich Star" - not really funny but seems bizarre: "Man stashed axe down his trousers before trying to bite policeman’s nose off, court told". The anatomical contortions are intriguing.
    The thought process of the man is also intriguing: "I'm going to assault this policeman. Now let me think. What should I use? Axe? Teeth? Axe? Teeth? I guess I'll go with teeth. Now, where to put the axe in the meantime? In my pocket? No, I need a little more room than that...."

  • And from the BBC news website (not a headline, to be fair): "Officers tried to stop a BMW in Vaughan Way, Leicester, on Friday evening but it later collided with a fence and entered the Grand Union Canal". One wonders who was driving the fence and how fast it was going? (No-one was seriously hurt).
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    It entered the Grand Union Canal? Like, on a slipway? Or it possibly just smack-bang fell into it! 'Entered' seems rather grandiose... that, or the Police have suddenly discovered a sense of irony for their statements. :D
  • The U.S. Is Having Fewer Babies. Women In D.C. Are Having The Fewest.
    From WAMU, the NPR station in our capitol.

    Hey, I bet men in D.C. have even fewer.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    The U.S. Is Having Fewer Babies. Women In D.C. Are Having The Fewest.
    From WAMU, the NPR station in our capitol.

    Hey, I bet men in D.C. have even fewer.
    Does that mean most of them are only having one at a time?
  • W HyattW Hyatt Shipmate
    From the New York Times opinion section:

    The Next Several Months Will Be Nonstop. Brace Yourself.
  • W Hyatt wrote: »
    From the New York Times opinion section:

    The Next Several Months Will Be Nonstop. Brace Yourself.

    I like to have a weeks break between months. Having them nonstop would be hard going.
  • W Hyatt wrote: »
    From the New York Times opinion section:

    The Next Several Months Will Be Nonstop. Brace Yourself.

    To tell the truth, I'm pretty much accustomed to it.
  • edited March 2019
    Deleted. Because I DP. Not good. Sorry.
  • The UK needs to brace itself too: "UK clinches deal to boost offshore wind" according to the BBC website. The full report is even more alarming as it begins "Climate change: Government deal to boost offshore wind". If you can't control Parliament, take control of the weather?
  • Maybe they are just going to move parliament offshore? A whole lot of wind comes from them.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Not exactly a headline of weirdness, but an interesting juxtaposition of headlines on my Google feed just now:
    A fourth pregnancy for Kate Middleton could have serious risks.
    was followed immediately by:
    'Just one more push' to get Brexit, May urges EU.

    The mind boggles.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Yikes! Indeed it does.

    Here is a rather satisfying headline from Reuters, unusually in more than one way - rhyme and content:
    Cardinal Pell: From Vatican apartment to Australian prison cell
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited March 2019
    On the BBC news website this morning: "Missing goat found at tram stop". For more detail see: https://tinyurl.com/yxvfwumf.
  • MMMMMM Shipmate
    I saw that and had to read the story! I saw that the goat was 25 miles from home, so the tram stop makes sense, you wouldn’t want to walk all that way, would you?

    MMM
  • I think though that goats are taking over the world: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-47535311. And they didn't use the Tramway this time.
  • (from The Shropshire Star) Oswestry hillfort fears unfounded says council: Is there trouble brewing on the England-Wales border?
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited March 2019
    I wasn't aware that a hillfort could actually feel fear. Perhaps a new Offa is in the offing?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited March 2019
    I think though that goats are taking over the world: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-47535311. [...]
    Go(at), figure!
    I wasn't aware that a hillfort could actually feel fear. Perhaps a new Offa is in the offing?
    Very pleasing, too! :)
  • A headline on the BBC news page: "Fencing 'demonises homeless people'". I couldn't quite see why fencing was any more harmful than football, rugby or boxing ... but actually the article concerns a debate about metal fencing which has been placed under a bridge to deter homeless people sleeping there.
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    A headline on the BBC news page: "Fencing 'demonises homeless people'". I couldn't quite see why fencing was any more harmful than football, rugby or boxing ... but actually the article concerns a debate about metal fencing which has been placed under a bridge to deter homeless people sleeping there.

    I am railing against that headline.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    balaam wrote: »
    A headline on the BBC news page: "Fencing 'demonises homeless people'". I couldn't quite see why fencing was any more harmful than football, rugby or boxing ... but actually the article concerns a debate about metal fencing which has been placed under a bridge to deter homeless people sleeping there.

    I am railing against that headline.
    Perhaps you should picket the BBC
  • From the BBC news website
    ‘Scottish Slimmers put into liquidation’ – oh dear it seems a bit of a drastic way to lose weight
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    I thought those liquid diets had been debunked as unhealthy.
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    This is sort of a cheat since I found it on a humor website, but they posted this headline from the Baltimore Sun: “Cows lose their jobs as milk prices drop”
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    BBC News has:
    Street cannabis 'contains large amount of faeces'
    Well, it's sh*t, Sherlock!
    Ozzy Osbourne cancels 2019 shows after fall
    ... so he's got quite a few months to go then!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Also: On BBC News, where I thought I read 'Will Clooney's Brunel boycott really work?', wondering, why would he want to boycott Isambert Kingdom Brunel?

    Then I saw it actually says, Brunei...!
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    Also: On BBC News, where I thought I read 'Will Clooney's Brunel boycott really work?', wondering, why would he want to boycott Isambert Kingdom Brunel?

    Then I saw it actually says, Brunei...!

    I read it the same way! Blame the typeface ...
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Yep. Plus you certainly don't see the word 'Brunei' in the news very often, as tiny a place as it is.
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    Yep. Plus you certainly don't see the word 'Brunei' in the news very often, as tiny a place as it is.

    Of course Trump's brain is a tiny place but it's in the news all the time.
  • mousethief wrote: »
    Wesley J wrote: »
    Yep. Plus you certainly don't see the word 'Brunei' in the news very often, as tiny a place as it is.

    Of course Trump's brain is a tiny place but it's in the news all the time.

    ROTFLMAO! I really miss the "killing me" smiley.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Trump has a brain???
  • Several papers last week carried this intriguing headline: "O2 increases paternity leave to 14 weeks for all employees". Really?
  • Breathing in too much pure oxygen can, it seems, result in gender change.
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