A quote from her obit in the Grauniad some years ago by the sadly missed American journalist, Molly Ivins, that works for me, especially down here in Hell:
"First, they mutilate you, then they poison you, then they burn you," she wrote. "I have been on blind dates better than that." She was matter of fact about it. "I'm sorry to say cancer can kill you, but it doesn't make you a better person."
I used to think she might have been wrong in that last line, but speaking for myself, probably not.
A quote from her obit in the Grauniad some years ago by the sadly missed American journalist, Molly Ivins, that works for me, especially down here in Hell:
"First, they mutilate you, then they poison you, then they burn you," she wrote. "I have been on blind dates better than that." She was matter of fact about it. "I'm sorry to say cancer can kill you, but it doesn't make you a better person."
I used to think she might have been wrong in that last line, but speaking for myself, probably not.
Just got off the phone with a cousin who tells me my uncle, her father, has been diagnosed with Leukemia and is too far gone for treatment. He just wants to go home, watch the birds from his window and die. So sad. Reminds my cousin of her mother's death from cancer. Reminds me of my own mother's death (12 weeks from diagnoses to death, though I think that was actually the mercy of God). As I said to my cousin, it truly is a pigging awful disease.
Yes, lost both parents to fast cancers. One died in 2004 and the other last fall. Both diagnosed the second week of July and died eight weeks later - almost to the day. My cousin is dealing with it now and lost his wife to it.
I just learned the story of a fun, smart older lady from my parish. She was having some physical problems, but wasn't sure what they were. When she finally sought medical care, they couldn't figure out what it was. She had metastases in her liver, but what was the source? They decided (fairly randomly, it seems to me) to treat her for pancreatic cancer. She is in horrible pain and is mostly bed-bound, and was to leave her beloved home today or tomorrow for a nursing center.
Ross - I hope you friend can be treated for the pain. Unlike most of the people here I am inexperienced with cancer (so far in my life), so I apologise if I say something stupid.
I've been away for a while and am saddened by the news of new folks with cancer and those whose situations have worsened. My situation is stable right now but the pain is sometimes hard to handle. Hugs and prayers for all affected. Hugs (and continued prayers) to Rossweisse especially!
Some days it just piles up. J and S were coming for dinner this week, but S e-mailed yesterday to say that J, a lovely, lively lady in her 80s, has been diagnosed with myeloma and will be heading into chemical warfare instead. More prayers and cursing.
I've been away for a while and am saddened by the news of new folks with cancer and those whose situations have worsened. My situation is stable right now but the pain is sometimes hard to handle. Hugs and prayers for all affected. Hugs (and continued prayers) to Rossweisse especially!
Update: Some kind friends took me out to dinner the other night. The husband is a doctor, and he had clearly read up on my (rare but aggressive) brand of breast cancer.
We were discussing my latest findings and expectations ("Don't plan on Christmas," said my oncologist); I noted that I'd been told that optimism was not a real option - and he disagreed.
"The average survival rate with that kind of breast cancer after diagnosis is 3 1/2 to 4 years," he said. "You're well past 8 1/2 years now. I wouldn't bet against you. I expect to see you at the (symphony orchestra's) New Year's Eve concert."
I have just heard that my uncle, diagnosed with Leukaemia at the weekend, died last night. So quick, so relentless, so sad.
I'm just catching up on the thread and read about @LilyPad's parents both dying after only eight weeks and then this. I never heard of such short illnesses.
As Bishop's Finger says it is merciful in some ways, but also terribly shocking for all concerned.
I hate this disease so much and lately it just seems like it's everywhere. Friends, relatives, shipmates, movie stars, neighbors, and while watching TV, trying to forget about it for a few minutes, all the ads seem to be cancer related.
Oh, @Cathscats, I am so sorry. May he rest in peace and rise in glory, and may his memory be a blessing.
I've learned how quickly things can change. (I went from walking with a little difficulty with a cane to sitting in a wheelchair in about a week.) I've made the decision to just keep going for as long as I can and for as long as it makes sense. I trust my oncologist, and when he says it's the final scene, I will deal with that. I'm just not going to cancel anything any sooner than I have to.
I can feel I am coming out of The Doldrums ... thank Heavens for all the Apollo 11 JUBILEE news and memories - it gives me such perspective.
I am full of energy and wonder and awe today and may even try a "creative effort" - a poem or drawing (not that I am either a poet or an artist in general!)
I'm joining you in damning cancer and all its minions to hell. My brother had a major operation for bowel cancer in April. Operation apparently got rid of the cancer but the complications are on going. He's back in hospital while they work out what's causing the latest problem. @Rossweisse , I like the sound of your doctor a lot.
<votive> for all who post here.
I was just re-elected (by secret ballot, snail-mailed more than a month ago and professionally certified) to the board of a professional organization to which I belong. (When I agreed to be nominated, my prognosis was far better.) I was considering resigning, but a couple of my colleagues talked me into staying on until I felt I couldn’t go on. That precludes me from working on a couple of long-term projects, but we shall just have to see how things go. No surrender!
My energy is coming back! Now, I realise that that means I'm getting over the side effects of my treatment and has no bearing on my long term prognosis (I'll get some idea about that on 16th August). Nevertheless it feels good.
Comments
"First, they mutilate you, then they poison you, then they burn you," she wrote. "I have been on blind dates better than that." She was matter of fact about it. "I'm sorry to say cancer can kill you, but it doesn't make you a better person."
I used to think she might have been wrong in that last line, but speaking for myself, probably not.
@Galilit, it is hard.
@Jengie Jon, cancer is absolutely the devil.
Ahh-men.
((Ross))
God damn cancer.
And it's not just The Big C that sometimes causes unbearable, and/or untreatable, pain.
A curse on Pain, of whatever sort...
FUCK CANCER!
<votive> For @idj. (And thank you!)
Update: Some kind friends took me out to dinner the other night. The husband is a doctor, and he had clearly read up on my (rare but aggressive) brand of breast cancer.
We were discussing my latest findings and expectations ("Don't plan on Christmas," said my oncologist); I noted that I'd been told that optimism was not a real option - and he disagreed.
"The average survival rate with that kind of breast cancer after diagnosis is 3 1/2 to 4 years," he said. "You're well past 8 1/2 years now. I wouldn't bet against you. I expect to see you at the (symphony orchestra's) New Year's Eve concert."
That made me feel much better!
Prayers for all!
Continued best wishes and love to all.
Both with their optimism and their "knowledge"
A mercifully short journey for him, I guess, but what a trauma for the family...
I'm just catching up on the thread and read about @LilyPad's parents both dying after only eight weeks and then this. I never heard of such short illnesses.
As Bishop's Finger says it is merciful in some ways, but also terribly shocking for all concerned.
I hate this disease so much and lately it just seems like it's everywhere. Friends, relatives, shipmates, movie stars, neighbors, and while watching TV, trying to forget about it for a few minutes, all the ads seem to be cancer related.
I've learned how quickly things can change. (I went from walking with a little difficulty with a cane to sitting in a wheelchair in about a week.) I've made the decision to just keep going for as long as I can and for as long as it makes sense. I trust my oncologist, and when he says it's the final scene, I will deal with that. I'm just not going to cancel anything any sooner than I have to.
I am full of energy and wonder and awe today and may even try a "creative effort" - a poem or drawing (not that I am either a poet or an artist in general!)
@Rossweisse , I like the sound of your doctor a lot.
<votive> for all who post here.
(Sarasa and brother)
#teamRossweisse
<votive> Sarasa and sibling
I was just re-elected (by secret ballot, snail-mailed more than a month ago and professionally certified) to the board of a professional organization to which I belong. (When I agreed to be nominated, my prognosis was far better.) I was considering resigning, but a couple of my colleagues talked me into staying on until I felt I couldn’t go on. That precludes me from working on a couple of long-term projects, but we shall just have to see how things go. No surrender!
Congratulations on the re-election, Ross!
Well done, all.