@zappa, the trouble is that our aged Ps hear the 'you're great' bit of a sentence , but the not 'for your age' that is implied if not always said. Hope she's doing as well as she can at the moment @Firenze - Christmas at my mother in law is always a communal thing, with all of us bringing food for the meal. It ends up not being very traditional, but is good anyway. Unfortunately I think that must sound dreadful to your mother @North East Quine. @The Intrepid Mrs S So glad you had a better visit with your mother. She sounds like she was on good form. Mind you if my mother started going round reciting the Lord's Prayer I'd be seriously confused. She's always thought religion is a nice hobby if you like that sort of thing, but has no use for it herself. When she was at the height of her paranoia about the neighbours she always said that I was naïve and thought that everyone was lovely, something she firmly blamed on my faith!
Mum continues to decline. The social worker who spoke to her in my presence last week agreed she has definitely lost capacity . Mum couldn't answer any of her questions and only wanted to know if we could go and see how her mum was. She was quite happy to stay in when I said it was a long way, the weather was vile and there was a train strike, all of which were true as long as you are flexible on your definition of 'a long way'.
I've been trying to make life easier for my parents. Really, really trying. But it's so hard to change old habits.
For decades, when the phone would ring, Mom and Dad just picked the thing up and answer it. With all the scammers calling all of us, and especially the elderly, I have deliberately programmed their house phones with the numbers of family and anyone they would expect to hear from. Repeated instructions to not answer the phone unless they see the name on the screen of someone they know is pretty much ignored.
Yesterday they got a scam call, and were panicked thinking it was the truth. I actually called the scammer back and gave her a piece of my mind, then reported her. They wanted $7500.
Mom and Dad used to be so savvy. I miss that part of their minds.
My father is now 92. I dragged him out on a warm -12°C day to our house for supper and cake. The stitches which ran inner corner of eye to upper lip are out of face, and he actually looks quite good, the team used his ow fat and filled in the tissue, not that he has any fat to spare. The plastics surgeon knew what she was doing. We're still waiting on the pathology report. If the cancer has spread and is deep, he has decisions to make.
He's told me that he isn't much interested in Christmas: too much sound and because he doesn't see, it's hard. We haven't any relatives to spend Christmas with as usual: our adult children usually find more excitement with their partners' families. The plans are for the three of us mostly, with regulated time for more people. He continues to resist the idea of anyone other than my wife and myself to help or do anything for him. I'm trying to tell him we're getting him a housekeeper parttime for a Christmas present. So far, he's completely negative about it. So I picked him up some favourite food items as secondary presents. Pickled herring and smoked eels.
AP here was cheerful and cognizant last night on the phone - looking forward to Christmas when her saintly granddaughter (my niece) and partner will be joining her. Though she did think it would be Boxing Day - but that's sorted now.
Today I did my Christmas food shop. Even though she won't be here, I bought the sort of food mum enjoyed. This year I want to keep things as much the same as possible.
Miss S and I took the two grandsons to visit The Dowager yesterday. My brother, his wife and two adult children went on Saturday. An old friend turned up while we were there. And she was delighted to see us, even if she had no idea who the four-month old might be. But her comment? 'Daddy was too busy to come, was he?' I could have crowned her.
Never mind. All went pretty well until the baby got hungry and let rip - he has a very piercing cry and he did not like having to wait for his bottle to cool down. The Dowager had no idea that babies would cry 'for no reason'. 'Mum, there is a reason, he just has no other way of communicating it!'
Luckily the hairdresser came and claimed her so we could make our escape, so I took her up to the salon - via the toilet. When I got back down, The Intrepid Grandson announced he needed a poo and would Grandma come with him? Happy days.
Having a fun Christmas staying with parents in law. Mother in law (G) has late onset type I diabetes, with a lot of sight loss, so doesn’t still cope with cooking Christmas dinner, though likes to think she does.
I was quite happy to cook the dinner for everyone - however, there was the added problem that her blood sugar was low last night, so she ate a lot of sweet things quite late and therefore had chronic diarrhoea this morning, but didn’t want to admit it to anyone. And of course she can’t see what she’s doing in the bathroom. I went in there three times before dinner to clean the toilet and washbasin as they were both smeared with s**t and I could smell it.
Apparently her blood sugar went low again around 10pm and she’s been eating toast and honey in the kitchen. I am really hoping this cycle doesn’t repeat itself tomorrow.
@Aravis, hope you don’t have to clean the bathroom this morning, and that you managed to enjoy yesterday on between the cleaning.
We are at my mother in laws. Had a nice, but very un-Christmassy lunch with one sister in law and her daughter, then brother in law turned up for present giving. There had been other presents earlier but MiL had forgotten it was Christmas. She perked up when it was just husband, son and I later and we all enjoyed ‘Call the Midwife’, which I’d never seen before.
Apparently she’s slept in her clothes. Not sure if that is usual now, or because we’re here.She sleeps in the dining room and the stairs from the bedroom lead directly into it. I’ll mention it to brother in law when he arrives later. The plan is to go and see the other daughter of sister in law who was here yesterday in her new house for lunch. We’re then back to my brothers house to try and keep things happy for nephew. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere brother was taken into intensive cate yesterday and from the panic in sister in laws voice, I think things were pretty bad. Hopefully today will bring better news.
Hoping everyone and their aging Ps had a good day yesterday. I feel guilty I couldn’t see my mum but at least I know the care home would have laid on a good day.
Well, yesterday (31st) I had a call from the care home to say that The Dowager had been having difficulty breathing and the paramedics had taken her to A&E.
She has had asthma all her life, and COPD from decades of smoking, and every now and again she gets a chest infection or similar. Somehow she always manages to time this for a weekend, or better still, a bank holiday - I don't know how she does it! However as we've been here before I resisted the urge to leap into the car and spend the afternoon trying to stop her running away, which was what happened last time.
She's been admitted to an Acute Medical Ward and they are waiting on blood tests to make a plan, but her nurse sounds remarkably positive. God bless you, Richard!
Mrs. S, relieved not to have any life-or-death decisions to take
PS @Sarasa I hope 2020 is a better year for you and your family! And blessings on all of us wrestling with the problems of APs
The Dowager certainly picks her times to be ill @The Intrepid Mrs S . I hope she is on the mend and back to her care home quickly.
After the phone call about my brother on the way up the motorway on Christmas Day, I had one from mum's care home on the way back down on Boxing Day. Apparently mum had had a fall late the previous Saturday, and the lead carer, who'd been off duty since then, had only just realised I hadn't been told. When I went to see her the Saturday just gone, she'd obviously fallen into something and has given herself a black eye, but other than that was none the worse for wear. The family took her out for tea in a country house hotel five minutes from the home. It was ideal for mum, the place looked 'posh', the staff were attentive and the afternoon tea was delicious. Mum much prefers sweet things so afternoon tea for lunch was a much better bet than a proper meal. Mum was on good form, and correctly identified us all, even if she did ask my son how his mum was. She seemed a bit puzzled my brother wasn't there, but didn't actually say anything about him, and we didn't venture any information. Hopefully, after the Christmas Day scare, he is now properly on the mend and we'll be able to do the same thing with him sometime this year. I took her back and explained she'd had a couple of glasses of wine. I think the fall the previous Saturday had been due to her drinking at her floor's Christmas party. She is getting more unsteady on her feet and alcohol really seems to make a difference now.
Hope everyone has a good year with their aged Ps. Happy 2020 everyone.
Sounds lovely, @Sarasa - the days when I could have taken the Dowager out for lunch are past, especially since she now depends on a walking frame and there is No Way that would fit in the MX-5. Fair play to the Dowager, though - she was always game!
Not at the moment, I fear - she is on a cardiology ward, on intravenous meds, and apparently sleeping a lot while they stabilise her salt and fluid levels. Maybe out on Monday?
I have been trying to remember what happened when I took her to see a cardiologist years ago - unfortunately all that has stuck in my mind is her reply to the question 'Have you had a hysterectomy?
'Oh yes, several'
ROTFL
I felt called on to point out that she was thinking of Caesarean sections....
Sorry the Dowager is still in hospital Mrs S. They are not the best places for elderly people with dementia. I guess they have her medical notes and will know what the cardiologist said when you saw him/her. Her reply made me laugh though.
My brother in law, who is his mother's carer, has recently traded in his Polo for an MX-5. I'm not sure if he's though it through, as getting her in and out will be tricky, and as you say no way her frame will fit in the car. On Boxing Day he drove me to our niece's new house for a family get together, while my husband drove his mum in our hire car. We had to take mother-in-law's spare frame in the back of the car, and as we weren't going back to her house, leave it for my husband's sister to bring back. I guess M thinks his mum won't be wanting to go out in the car too often.
I guess M thinks his mum won't be wanting to go out in the car too often.
...or doesn't want to take her? <snigger>
Thanks for the kind thoughts, all. She's now off the cardiac ward and on a Care of Elderly Patients* one, where I finally tracked her down after a series of increasingly frantic phone calls yesterday. Her nurse told me that she was now on a nebuliser and oral antibiotics, no particular cardiac issues - 'but she's rather confused'. I looked at the phone in amazement and replied 'well, she has two sorts of dementia, I expect she is confused'. Also loud, I understood!
But she is walking, although breathless, so I expect they will ship her out on Monday when the doctors have seen her again.
In other news, her faithful friend and ex-neighbour is laid up with D&V, so we are praying for him. We forget he's 82 as well...
Mrs. S, remembering the Cub Scout Russell in UP!
*he was going for his Helping Elderly People badge
I guess M thinks his mum won't be wanting to go out in the car too often.
...or doesn't want to take her? <snigger>
Don't snigger there are all sorts of reasons why this may be the case such as:
This gives him the car as his space, which he does not get at home
He actually expects to take a taxi because of the complexities of moving his mother when she needs to be driven anywhere. This was the case with my father and my sister used to drive her car down to the home and arrange for the Taxi to pick him and her up from there. She did not have a tiny car but having the extra person to help my father in or out of a fairly big car was essential.
It allows him to go out for errands on his own and not take his mother with him. Different from the first in this is freedom of time rather than space
@Piglet thanks for asking. The AP is much the same. She’s getting more and more frequently confused about finding her way around the house. The other day she said “I don’t know your house very well”, so I guess she’s to some extent conscious of it, although not conscious (or not admitting out loud) how phenomenally strange it is.
I guess M thinks his mum won't be wanting to go out in the car too often.
...or doesn't want to take her? <snigger>
Don't snigger there are all sorts of reasons why this may be the case such as:
This gives him the car as his space, which he does not get at home
He actually expects to take a taxi because of the complexities of moving his mother when she needs to be driven anywhere. This was the case with my father and my sister used to drive her car down to the home and arrange for the Taxi to pick him and her up from there. She did not have a tiny car but having the extra person to help my father in or out of a fairly big car was essential.
It allows him to go out for errands on his own and not take his mother with him. Different from the first in this is freedom of time rather than space
OK, OK, it was only a mild pleasantry in response to Sarasa's
'I guess M thinks his mum won't be wanting to go out in the car too often.'
My APs are going to a doctor tomorrow morning for consecutive appointments. Somehow, after my sister, S, talked to our parents on the phone yesterday, Mom and Dad both got it into their heads that S made tomorrow's appointment for them. " No," I said, "I made the appointment about a month ago." This was on the way to church.
After church, again, they said how nice it was that my sister made the appointment for them. (These are the people who can't remember what day it is, or sometimes their names.) Again, "NO! She can't make appointments because what happens if I can't take you at those times?"
Oh, that's OK, then said the APs.
I think I'm grumpy because Sister does zero for our APs. She gets to take lovely vacations all over the world and tells me how terrible she feels that she's not more help. Grrr.
When folk with dementia get an idea in their head all you can do is agree with them, no matter how frustrating it is. Somehow I found it very annoying when the staff at the nursing home kept congratulating me on having bought a new car. If only....
@jedijudy , that is annoying. I guess your parents don't actually notice you. I've never had that problem with my mum, but certainly my brother-in-law got a bit annoyed when his mother went on at great length about how wonderful one of her daughters had been. Yes she had been helpful, but she wasn't doing the day to day caring. As to why he brought the car, I think he is probably like my husband, who once brought a sporty Nissan Micra after having his wisdom teeth out, as he was feeling miserable and felt he needed a treat.
Glad things are ticking along @Zappa
My grandfather used to sing the praises of my aunt to my father. Aunt lived a distance away, but when she came to visit she would stay for a couple of days and spring clean entire rooms. The lavish praise of my aunt used to grate on my father. After he died it turned out that he had been singing my father's praise to my aunt - how my parents visited every Sunday, and provided a meal, with enough left overs for Monday, unlike my aunt's more sporadic visits. The lavish praise of my father has been grating on my aunt.
My grandfather used to sing the praises of my aunt to my father. Aunt lived a distance away, but when she came to visit she would stay for a couple of days and spring clean entire rooms. The lavish praise of my aunt used to grate on my father. After he died it turned out that he had been singing my father's praise to my aunt - how my parents visited every Sunday, and provided a meal, with enough left overs for Monday, unlike my aunt's more sporadic visits. The lavish praise of my father has been grating on my aunt.
My mother did this with me and my sister. Fortunately we figured it out several years before my sister’s death and just started passing along the praise to the correct person.
My Nan did this with my cousins. I was given a tour of the local university by one of them, under protest, and we both figured it out. I was about 18 or so. It's a bit of a joke now but it sure wasn't when we were growing up in two different communities.
I can see a pattern developing here. My paternal granny (who lived with us) would visit her nieces and come back waxing lyrical about the food she'd been served at their houses, apparently completely oblivious to the excellent food she got all the time from my mum.
Mom and Dad are aware of the fact that I'm the one who helps them and takes them where they need to go. They let me know that they're grateful, and I always tell them that I'm glad to help! I think my grumbling is more because my sister is about as useful as a ballroom in a squirrel's nest.
I never knew my father's parents but I knew my mother's parents very well They wre of very similar age. My Grandfather died from cancer when he was 72. My grandmother could not cope with her loss and went down ill very quickly. She started drinking cheap sherry and refused help both from family members and professional carers. The crunch came when my mother and my uncle had to agree with her being sectioned. She was only in hospital for about 24 hours when we were informed that she had died. I have no doubt that she was very troublesome but I have always regarded her death as a bit suspicious. This all happened about 46 years ago.
Did your family raise their suspicions with the hospital authorities?
I sometimes wonder when I hear of a survivor dying shortly after their partner if it's just their body saying "I don't want to live without him/her".
A very elderly (90+) acquaintance of ours died last year. The following day her sister, also over 90, was told she needed surgery for an ongoing problem, and she refused to give her consent, as she "didn't want to live without her sister". She died that night.
(Absolutely unfair comment about to follow. For several months my sister had wanted my mother taken off all medication, as she felt mum's life was so miserable. I was the one seeing mum every day, and didn't feel things were that bad. However, I did discuss it with the nursing staff at the home, as well as with mum's GP, who agreed with me. I also explained that the time my sister spent working with Dr Shipman might not have been helpful.... On the morning mum died I'd been with her already, when my sister turned up and suggested I had a break. I went home, and 20 mins later got a call to say mum had died. When I went back I did check the pillow to see if there were any signs of it being held over mum's face. Unfair comment over.)
Ugh, unfair and hard on the head. My Nan died the night before she was to have been discharged to a new nursing home. I've always wondered at the coincidence. Great training for just accepting some things, eh?
My mother received a thank-you letter for a Christmas gift from a friend who clearly has the same mindset as Mum. The friend narrated what sounded like a joyless Christmas Day and finished up with "but I had the dishes to do, so that kept me going."
Oh @Robert Armin that is hard to deal with, but glad black humour kept you going. It's my go to as well. My grandparents died within a month of each other and the vicar at the funeral was going one about how they would be happy to be together in one of 'the many mansions'. My immediate thought was yes, and they'll still not be talking to each other. The two of them had managed to make my dad's childhood miserable and he hated holidays and Christmas with a passion. @North East Quine - that made me laugh. I'd try to avoid an invite there if you can.
We had a devoted couple in the church I used to attend. They were both in their 90s and living in separate nursing homes because of having different needs. Mr. B died and within five minutes, Mrs. B was gone. I always considered it true love and one couldn't stand to be here if the other one wasn't. They were truly sweet people!
How many Irish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. I'll just sit here in the dark while yous go out and enjoy yourselves.
Sorry for the double post, but I missed this!
ROFLMAO and that <killingme> smiley, redoubled in spades
(whenever I wasn't at home when The Dowager called, she would leave a message saying 'I see you're out enjoying yourself!' as if that were the Unforgivable Sin!)
Oh.My.Goodness Mrs S, you didn't have the temerity to actually enjoy yourself did you? I mean things like trips to the Supermarket to buy food, or visits to a Doctor when you were unwell? Don't you know there is a special circle in Hell for people who aren't available when their Mother rings?
Hi all - I’m a longtime lurker on this thread but now driven to post for the catharsis of writing it down.
My mum (long time carer and sorter-out for her mother) is just starting to need to be the looked after one - she’s had some worrying symptoms and I, and concerned friends, are trying to persuade her to See A Doctor and Follow Medical Advice.
She’s resistant, because she’s the one who does the looking after, not the one who is looked after, and obviously she’s invincible.
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@Firenze - Christmas at my mother in law is always a communal thing, with all of us bringing food for the meal. It ends up not being very traditional, but is good anyway. Unfortunately I think that must sound dreadful to your mother @North East Quine.
@The Intrepid Mrs S So glad you had a better visit with your mother. She sounds like she was on good form. Mind you if my mother started going round reciting the Lord's Prayer I'd be seriously confused. She's always thought religion is a nice hobby if you like that sort of thing, but has no use for it herself. When she was at the height of her paranoia about the neighbours she always said that I was naïve and thought that everyone was lovely, something she firmly blamed on my faith!
Mum continues to decline. The social worker who spoke to her in my presence last week agreed she has definitely lost capacity . Mum couldn't answer any of her questions and only wanted to know if we could go and see how her mum was. She was quite happy to stay in when I said it was a long way, the weather was vile and there was a train strike, all of which were true as long as you are flexible on your definition of 'a long way'.
What my parents heard: Don't take any risks. Especially don't have a flu jab. Flu jabs are risky. You just can't be too careful.
For decades, when the phone would ring, Mom and Dad just picked the thing up and answer it. With all the scammers calling all of us, and especially the elderly, I have deliberately programmed their house phones with the numbers of family and anyone they would expect to hear from. Repeated instructions to not answer the phone unless they see the name on the screen of someone they know is pretty much ignored.
Yesterday they got a scam call, and were panicked thinking it was the truth. I actually called the scammer back and gave her a piece of my mind, then reported her. They wanted $7500.
Mom and Dad used to be so savvy. I miss that part of their minds.
He's told me that he isn't much interested in Christmas: too much sound and because he doesn't see, it's hard. We haven't any relatives to spend Christmas with as usual: our adult children usually find more excitement with their partners' families. The plans are for the three of us mostly, with regulated time for more people. He continues to resist the idea of anyone other than my wife and myself to help or do anything for him. I'm trying to tell him we're getting him a housekeeper parttime for a Christmas present. So far, he's completely negative about it. So I picked him up some favourite food items as secondary presents. Pickled herring and smoked eels.
Never mind. All went pretty well until the baby got hungry and let rip - he has a very piercing cry and he did not like having to wait for his bottle to cool down. The Dowager had no idea that babies would cry 'for no reason'. 'Mum, there is a reason, he just has no other way of communicating it!'
Luckily the hairdresser came and claimed her so we could make our escape, so I took her up to the salon - via the toilet. When I got back down, The Intrepid Grandson announced he needed a poo and would Grandma come with him? Happy days.
Mrs. S, duty done
I was quite happy to cook the dinner for everyone - however, there was the added problem that her blood sugar was low last night, so she ate a lot of sweet things quite late and therefore had chronic diarrhoea this morning, but didn’t want to admit it to anyone. And of course she can’t see what she’s doing in the bathroom. I went in there three times before dinner to clean the toilet and washbasin as they were both smeared with s**t and I could smell it.
Apparently her blood sugar went low again around 10pm and she’s been eating toast and honey in the kitchen. I am really hoping this cycle doesn’t repeat itself tomorrow.
We are at my mother in laws. Had a nice, but very un-Christmassy lunch with one sister in law and her daughter, then brother in law turned up for present giving. There had been other presents earlier but MiL had forgotten it was Christmas. She perked up when it was just husband, son and I later and we all enjoyed ‘Call the Midwife’, which I’d never seen before.
Apparently she’s slept in her clothes. Not sure if that is usual now, or because we’re here.She sleeps in the dining room and the stairs from the bedroom lead directly into it. I’ll mention it to brother in law when he arrives later. The plan is to go and see the other daughter of sister in law who was here yesterday in her new house for lunch. We’re then back to my brothers house to try and keep things happy for nephew. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere brother was taken into intensive cate yesterday and from the panic in sister in laws voice, I think things were pretty bad. Hopefully today will bring better news.
Hoping everyone and their aging Ps had a good day yesterday. I feel guilty I couldn’t see my mum but at least I know the care home would have laid on a good day.
She has had asthma all her life, and COPD from decades of smoking, and every now and again she gets a chest infection or similar. Somehow she always manages to time this for a weekend, or better still, a bank holiday - I don't know how she does it! However as we've been here before I resisted the urge to leap into the car and spend the afternoon trying to stop her running away, which was what happened last time.
She's been admitted to an Acute Medical Ward and they are waiting on blood tests to make a plan, but her nurse sounds remarkably positive. God bless you, Richard!
Mrs. S, relieved not to have any life-or-death decisions to take
PS @Sarasa I hope 2020 is a better year for you and your family! And blessings on all of us wrestling with the problems of APs
After the phone call about my brother on the way up the motorway on Christmas Day, I had one from mum's care home on the way back down on Boxing Day. Apparently mum had had a fall late the previous Saturday, and the lead carer, who'd been off duty since then, had only just realised I hadn't been told. When I went to see her the Saturday just gone, she'd obviously fallen into something and has given herself a black eye, but other than that was none the worse for wear. The family took her out for tea in a country house hotel five minutes from the home. It was ideal for mum, the place looked 'posh', the staff were attentive and the afternoon tea was delicious. Mum much prefers sweet things so afternoon tea for lunch was a much better bet than a proper meal. Mum was on good form, and correctly identified us all, even if she did ask my son how his mum was. She seemed a bit puzzled my brother wasn't there, but didn't actually say anything about him, and we didn't venture any information. Hopefully, after the Christmas Day scare, he is now properly on the mend and we'll be able to do the same thing with him sometime this year. I took her back and explained she'd had a couple of glasses of wine. I think the fall the previous Saturday had been due to her drinking at her floor's Christmas party. She is getting more unsteady on her feet and alcohol really seems to make a difference now.
Hope everyone has a good year with their aged Ps. Happy 2020 everyone.
Not at the moment, I fear - she is on a cardiology ward, on intravenous meds, and apparently sleeping a lot while they stabilise her salt and fluid levels. Maybe out on Monday?
I have been trying to remember what happened when I took her to see a cardiologist years ago - unfortunately all that has stuck in my mind is her reply to the question 'Have you had a hysterectomy?
'Oh yes, several'
ROTFL
I felt called on to point out that she was thinking of Caesarean sections....
Mrs. S, finding amusement where she can
My brother in law, who is his mother's carer, has recently traded in his Polo for an MX-5. I'm not sure if he's though it through, as getting her in and out will be tricky, and as you say no way her frame will fit in the car. On Boxing Day he drove me to our niece's new house for a family get together, while my husband drove his mum in our hire car. We had to take mother-in-law's spare frame in the back of the car, and as we weren't going back to her house, leave it for my husband's sister to bring back. I guess M thinks his mum won't be wanting to go out in the car too often.
...or doesn't want to take her? <snigger>
Thanks for the kind thoughts, all. She's now off the cardiac ward and on a Care of Elderly Patients* one, where I finally tracked her down after a series of increasingly frantic phone calls yesterday. Her nurse told me that she was now on a nebuliser and oral antibiotics, no particular cardiac issues - 'but she's rather confused'. I looked at the phone in amazement and replied 'well, she has two sorts of dementia, I expect she is confused'. Also loud, I understood!
But she is walking, although breathless, so I expect they will ship her out on Monday when the doctors have seen her again.
In other news, her faithful friend and ex-neighbour is laid up with D&V, so we are praying for him. We forget he's 82 as well...
Mrs. S, remembering the Cub Scout Russell in UP!
*he was going for his Helping Elderly People badge
Don't snigger there are all sorts of reasons why this may be the case such as:
OK, OK, it was only a mild pleasantry in response to Sarasa's
'I guess M thinks his mum won't be wanting to go out in the car too often.'
My APs are going to a doctor tomorrow morning for consecutive appointments. Somehow, after my sister, S, talked to our parents on the phone yesterday, Mom and Dad both got it into their heads that S made tomorrow's appointment for them. " No," I said, "I made the appointment about a month ago." This was on the way to church.
After church, again, they said how nice it was that my sister made the appointment for them. (These are the people who can't remember what day it is, or sometimes their names.) Again, "NO! She can't make appointments because what happens if I can't take you at those times?"
Oh, that's OK, then said the APs.
I think I'm grumpy because Sister does zero for our APs. She gets to take lovely vacations all over the world and tells me how terrible she feels that she's not more help. Grrr.
Glad things are ticking along @Zappa
My mother did this with me and my sister. Fortunately we figured it out several years before my sister’s death and just started passing along the praise to the correct person.
I sometimes wonder when I hear of a survivor dying shortly after their partner if it's just their body saying "I don't want to live without him/her".
A very elderly (90+) acquaintance of ours died last year. The following day her sister, also over 90, was told she needed surgery for an ongoing problem, and she refused to give her consent, as she "didn't want to live without her sister". She died that night.
Please don't worry. Gallows humour helps keep me going.
@North East Quine - that made me laugh. I'd try to avoid an invite there if you can.
None. I'll just sit here in the dark while yous go out and enjoy yourselves.
I do agree, Robert - the task of caring for, or even just caring about, our APs would be soul-destroying without it!
Mrs. S, sometimes inappropriately humorous
Sorry for the double post, but I missed this!
ROFLMAO and that <killingme> smiley, redoubled in spades
(whenever I wasn't at home when The Dowager called, she would leave a message saying 'I see you're out enjoying yourself!' as if that were the Unforgivable Sin!)
For Shame!
My mum (long time carer and sorter-out for her mother) is just starting to need to be the looked after one - she’s had some worrying symptoms and I, and concerned friends, are trying to persuade her to See A Doctor and Follow Medical Advice.
She’s resistant, because she’s the one who does the looking after, not the one who is looked after, and obviously she’s invincible.
Fun times ahead