Heaven: 2021 Proof Americans and Brits speak a different language

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  • Ha! In the UK heights will be measured against Nelson's Column or Big Ben; lengths in London busses and area in football pitches.
  • And volume in Olympic swimming pools.
  • Or area in the size of Wales, heights in double decker buses.
  • Growths and cysts are always measured in various fruits.
  • The Canadian system can be useful. Some years ago I went for a medical check-up and was told that I was 165 cm tall and weighed 165 pounds - easy to remember.
  • I'm not sure if this is the right place to raise the matteer, but the London Times reports that survey in Berkeley, California, revealed that the most successful chat-up line was 'I like your ass'. The report does not reveal who was surveyed, or by whom, but if correct it seems to this British 83-year-old to reveal either an appalling level of taste in men among the women students at the university concerned, or a distressing lack of poetic imagination on the part of their menfolk. Farewell to 500 years of English verse!
  • Land area here is measured in various states. It's the size of Connecticut. It's the size of Montana. Britain, we are told, is roughly the size of Oregon. This would make more sense if any of us had any feel for how large the various states are. I couldn't possibly tell you how many Connecticuts it would take to fill Oregon.
  • Seems like the Bard could use some bawdy language himself.
  • Yes, Grmps49, but at least he showed some imagination.

  • A quick show of hands please: who else thought that this must link back to @Eirenist's post about liking someone's donkey being a good chat-up line?

  • Sorry, crosspost with Gramps, it was in answer to @mousethief
  • Other pick up lines:




    Funny Pick Up Lines


    Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
    Hey, my name's Microsft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
    Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
    Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?
    There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
    Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
    I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you.
    Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!
    If you were a Transformer… you’d be Optimus Fine.
    Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
    I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice.
    I must be in a museum because you truly are a work of art.
    Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?
    I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
    Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.
    Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!
    If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
    Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?
    I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
    Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
    Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.
    It’s a good thing I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.
    I was blinded by your beauty; I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.
    I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Because mine was just stolen.
    Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
    Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest.
    Are you a time traveler? Cause I see you in my future!
    Can I follow you where you’re going right now? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
    Is this the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like you and I are headed somewhere magical.
    Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.
    Something’s wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you.
    My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
    Somebody better call God, because he’s missing an angel.
    We’re not socks, but I think we’d make a great pair.
    You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
    Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
    Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.
    Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!
    Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me.
    Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
    Do you know CPR? Because you are taking my breath away!
    You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

    My own personal pick up line, that worked, is Do you want to go on a canoe trip? Long story but she has now been with me for 42 years.
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    edited February 2021

    Looks more like 16 to me: 48÷3. Are you sure you've got the right Oregon?
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Eirenist wrote: »
    I'm not sure if this is the right place to raise the matteer, but the London Times reports that survey in Berkeley, California, revealed that the most successful chat-up line was 'I like your ass'. The report does not reveal who was surveyed, or by whom, but if correct it seems to this British 83-year-old to reveal either an appalling level of taste in men among the women students at the university concerned, or a distressing lack of poetic imagination on the part of their menfolk. Farewell to 500 years of English verse!
    That is uncouth. I'm not quite as old as you @Eirenist but I am old enough that I go back to a time when one would have taken for granted that with an opening like that, one would get one's face slapped.

    Does that still happened these days? Or would it be regarded as reverse harassment?

  • Gramps49 wrote: »
    Other pick up lines:




    Funny Pick Up Lines


    Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
    Hey, my name's Microsft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
    Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
    Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?
    There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
    Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
    I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you.
    Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!
    If you were a Transformer… you’d be Optimus Fine.
    Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
    I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice.
    I must be in a museum because you truly are a work of art.
    Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?
    I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
    Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.
    Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!
    If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
    Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?
    I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
    Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
    Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.
    It’s a good thing I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.
    I was blinded by your beauty; I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.
    I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Because mine was just stolen.
    Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
    Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest.
    Are you a time traveler? Cause I see you in my future!
    Can I follow you where you’re going right now? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
    Is this the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like you and I are headed somewhere magical.
    Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.
    Something’s wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you.
    My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
    Somebody better call God, because he’s missing an angel.
    We’re not socks, but I think we’d make a great pair.
    You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
    Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
    Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.
    Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!
    Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me.
    Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
    Do you know CPR? Because you are taking my breath away!
    You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

    My own personal pick up line, that worked, is Do you want to go on a canoe trip? Long story but she has now been with me for 42 years.

    In all honesty, if these are the alternatives, then 'you've got a nice bum' becomes really quite acceptable. Although the one about a canoe trip is probably better.
  • Enoch wrote: »
    Eirenist wrote: »
    I'm not sure if this is the right place to raise the matteer, but the London Times reports that survey in Berkeley, California, revealed that the most successful chat-up line was 'I like your ass'. The report does not reveal who was surveyed, or by whom, but if correct it seems to this British 83-year-old to reveal either an appalling level of taste in men among the women students at the university concerned, or a distressing lack of poetic imagination on the part of their menfolk. Farewell to 500 years of English verse!
    That is uncouth. I'm not quite as old as you @Eirenist but I am old enough that I go back to a time when one would have taken for granted that with an opening like that, one would get one's face slapped.

    Does that still happened these days? Or would it be regarded as reverse harassment?

    It would probably be regarded as assault, which it is. But well-deserved.
  • john holdingjohn holding Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Enoch wrote: »
    Eirenist wrote: »
    I'm not sure if this is the right place to raise the matteer, but the London Times reports that survey in Berkeley, California, revealed that the most successful chat-up line was 'I like your ass'. The report does not reveal who was surveyed, or by whom, but if correct it seems to this British 83-year-old to reveal either an appalling level of taste in men among the women students at the university concerned, or a distressing lack of poetic imagination on the part of their menfolk. Farewell to 500 years of English verse!
    That is uncouth. I'm not quite as old as you @Eirenist but I am old enough that I go back to a time when one would have taken for granted that with an opening like that, one would get one's face slapped.

    Does that still happened these days? Or would it be regarded as reverse harassment?
    Is that for a man trying to pick up a woman, or for a woman trying to pick up a man? Both seem possible in these enlightened (if in poor taste) days.
  • orfeoorfeo Suspended
    edited February 2021
    mousethief wrote: »

    Looks more like 16 to me: 48÷3. Are you sure you've got the right Oregon?

    The bigger question is why are we trying to do a Texas-based conversion instead of a direct comparison? The opportunity for rounding errors is considerable.

    The true answer is actually about 17 and 3/4 using the total area figures on Wikipedia.

    EDIT: Never before has the phrase "you're a couple of Connecticuts short of an Oregon" entered the lexicon.
  • Gramps49 wrote: »
    Other pick up lines:

    Funny Pick Up Lines


    Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
    Hey, my name's Microsft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
    Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
    Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?
    There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
    Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
    I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you.
    Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!
    If you were a Transformer… you’d be Optimus Fine.
    Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
    I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice.
    I must be in a museum because you truly are a work of art.
    Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?
    I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
    Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.
    Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!
    If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
    Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?
    I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
    Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
    Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.
    It’s a good thing I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.
    I was blinded by your beauty; I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.
    I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Because mine was just stolen.
    Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
    Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest.
    Are you a time traveler? Cause I see you in my future!
    Can I follow you where you’re going right now? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
    Is this the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like you and I are headed somewhere magical.
    Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.
    Something’s wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you.
    My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
    Somebody better call God, because he’s missing an angel.
    We’re not socks, but I think we’d make a great pair.
    You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
    Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
    Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.
    Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!
    Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me.
    Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
    Do you know CPR? Because you are taking my breath away!
    You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

    My own personal pick up line, that worked, is Do you want to go on a canoe trip? Long story but she has now been with me for 42 years.

    These are funny?

    Maybe it's an age thing but I've never thought of employing a "pick-up" line. If one met someone who excited your interest you asked them out to some event, such as the theatre or a concert, and used the opportunity to try to get to know them better. With my late-lamented she asked me if I could sail and I offered her a lift to the station: hardly earth-shattering stuff but 16 and-a-half months later we were living together with our newborn twins.
  • orfeo wrote: »
    mousethief wrote: »

    Looks more like 16 to me: 48÷3. Are you sure you've got the right Oregon?

    The bigger question is why are we trying to do a Texas-based conversion instead of a direct comparison? The opportunity for rounding errors is considerable.

    The true answer is actually about 17 and 3/4 using the total area figures on Wikipedia.

    EDIT: Never before has the phrase "you're a couple of Connecticuts short of an Oregon" entered the lexicon.

    Sorry @mousethief I posted that from my phone while cooking, and wasn't concentrating, you're right it's 16.

    @orfeo because that's the only comparison I could find that listed states in relation to each other, there wasn't a direct comparison of Connecticut to Oregon, which is what mousethief mentioned, and it followed on from a discussion about the stupidity of the national measurement comparators that are usually trotted out in articles or news programmes to help people visualise the size of something. We were pointing out they weren't helpful. I tried visualising Oregon and Connecticut (from playing Sporcle) before trying to find an answer and was a factor of 2 out
  • Fawkes Cat wrote: »

    A quick show of hands please: who else thought that this must link back to @Eirenist's post about liking someone's donkey being a good chat-up line?

    As my eyes scanned down the page, I read "I like your ass!" "It's the size of Connecticut."
  • Fawkes Cat wrote: »

    A quick show of hands please: who else thought that this must link back to @Eirenist's post about liking someone's donkey being a good chat-up line?

    As my eyes scanned down the page, I read "I like your ass!" "It's the size of Connecticut."

    Bahahaha!
  • Fawkes Cat wrote: »

    A quick show of hands please: who else thought that this must link back to @Eirenist's post about liking someone's donkey being a good chat-up line?

    As my eyes scanned down the page, I read "I like your ass!" "It's the size of Connecticut."
    Baby got back.

  • My wife (from the eastern part of the middle of England) has spent over 25 years in south Wales and still finds some things we say 'a bit odd'. One of these is to say school and pool with two syllables - 'skoo-wul' and 'poo-wul' (approximate pronunciations). She also feels that towel should be one syllable instead of 'tow-wul', but then in my opinionshe can't say 'tooth' properly...!
  • TheOrganistTheOrganist Shipmate
    edited February 2021
    Ah, you refer to the south Walian tuth. Nothing wrong with that, your yerrs 👂👂 aren't deceiving you.
  • Sheffield is the only place I know where road has two syllables (Row-ad) and where 'here' and 'there' rhyme.
  • I apologise in advance if this has been raised here before, but here goes: 'goose-pimples' or 'goose-bumps'. The former was what they were know as here in the UK when I grew up post WWII, the latter has only appeared since the turn of the century. Does anyone know why or whence it comes?
  • Same here, I always knew them as goose pimples. Goose bumps is American I think, probably came here via TV and movies.
  • I think of goose pimples as the result of swimming in the sea in April, with just a costume, and it takes me back to childhood, shivering in a towel being given hot chocolate from a thermos flask. Goosebumps were a series of children's horror books (aimed at 9 year olds) written by RL Stine, around when my daughter was of an age to read them.
  • I think mine have always been goosebumps in Sussex and Kent
  • Goosepimples - to describe that soggy, frozen flesh after outdoor swimming in places like Skegness!
  • Raised in central southern England - only ever used "goosebumps"
  • Raised in central southern England - only ever used "goosebumps"

    So was I - maybe its an age thing?
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    How many people have seen a plucked goose these days, and therefore been struck by the resemblance? I suspect 'pimples' lost out to 'bumps' as the more yeuch word.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Raised in central southern England - only ever used "goosebumps"
    Like you, but for me it was ‘goosepimples’.
  • Firenze wrote: »
    How many people have seen a plucked goose these days, and therefore been struck by the resemblance? I suspect 'pimples' lost out to 'bumps' as the more yeuch word.

    Anyone who's had one for Christmas?
  • Vietnamese refer to the phenomenon as "chicken skin." (Mr Lamb takes great delight in tickling me in ways that create it, drat him.)
  • My father said "gooseflesh", learned his English before WW2 in Singapore and later in Toronto. He also said khaki as car-key and coupon as Q-pawn. Habits I also have. I've eaten geese, but they are Canada and snow geese, hunted with shotguns. Don't see domestic geese for sale much. I did buy a domestic duck last fall. They're quite fatty compared to the wild ones- we used eat to mallards, pintails, green and blue wing teals when my father hunted.
  • Goosebumps is used in New Brunswick (Canada not New Jersey).
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    edited February 2021
    Change of subject (though friend, London, came up with gooseflesh at first). Tomorrow, DHL is making a delivery. "Your parcel will be delivered Wednesday". Whereas I would expect "on Wednesday".
  • How else would one say khaki?
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    How else would one say khaki?

    I've heard people say "cacky"...
  • That's what I would say and have always heard.
  • I have herd Americans admire someone’s khaki pants, which brings to mind a whole different image for a Brit.
  • To this Brit "khaki" and "car key" are homophones.

    LC, it seems Vietnamese and Dutch have something in common. We say chicken skin here too - kippenvel.
  • Great minds!
  • Goosebumps and cacky here.
  • I’ve never heard anything except “cacky.”


  • Sounds like poop to me. Ca-ca. Which you do in the kybo.
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