Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Drawn and quartered?
  • On the headline crawl of one of this morning's TV newscasts:

    Man stopped at La Guardia Airport with bullet-filled diaper.

    I hate to think of what he had for dinner last night.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    On the headline crawl of one of this morning's TV newscasts:

    Man stopped at La Guardia Airport with bullet-filled diaper.

    I hate to think of what he had for dinner last night.

    He'd better keep away from super-hot chilli for a few nights
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited December 2023
    Airport security now using bullet-filled diapers instead of guns? - Might just work! It'll certainly stop people right in their tracks, like this man, and be it because they won't believe their eyes.
  • Will the penalties be carried out consecutively or concurrently?

    Consecutively. If the first is commuted, then the second kicks in.
  • Primate yet to fix final day

    Seems rather ominous…
  • But probably true.
  • From the ever-reliable headline crawl on one of our local TV news broadcasts:

    Mother suspected of killing children arrested in UK

    Granted, having one or your children arrested in the UK might heap opprobrium upon the family's head, but I don't think that would justify a mother committing infanticide.
  • Wales Online provides a doubleheader:

    Woman bit victim so hard part of her nose came off days after meeting on app

    Wha---?????

    The best thing about that headline is that it makes the next one seem sensible:

    Man who tried to escape from police station busted when he fell through ceiling

    No word on what he busted.
  • As clear as an unmuddied lamp that the man's falling through the ceiling was the cause of the police station being busted.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited January 2024
    From the never-failing "Wales Online": "Woman who made £26k illegally breeding puppies exposed by neighbours". Naughty neighbours, the poor wee things should have been kept nice and cosy in their kennels. I suppose commas are too much to ask for ...
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited January 2024
    From CNN, with sooo many possible takes on this: :smiley:
    Kenya court may release cult leader if not charged within two weeks

    See? That's the problem when everything's battery-powered these days, even the courts!
  • From the BBC: "How London hotel sting caught Swiss museum heist thieves" - nothing really wrong with it, but notable for the inclusion of both "heist" and "sting" which hardly feature outside journalism!
  • The most common usage of "charge it" here, is people running at something, so talking about how to deal with an obstacle (car that needs moving, fence to be jumped, crowd to get through, drunken Bullingdon club types crying "charge it" as they try to barge into a night club).
    It gives me a comic image of a bemused policeman dealing with a runaway horse that has caused a lot of criminal damage!
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited January 2024
    On the ITV news yesterday we were told that Emma Raducanu "crashed out" of the Australian Open. That would have been appropriate if she'd lost 6-0, 6-0. In fact she was beaten 6-4, 4-6, 6-4 so it was a closely-fought contest.
  • BBC again: "Arrest after fire caused building to collapse". Those police need to be less heavy-handed, someone could get hurt.
  • On the ITV news yesterday we were told that Emma Raducanu "crashed out" of the Australian Open. That would have been appropriate if she'd lost 6-0, 6-0. In fact she was beaten 6-4, 4-6, 6-4 so it was a closely-fought contest.

    This reminds me (in an oblique kind of way) of a news report I once heard. I gather the news agency had decided that the cut-off date for referring to a young man as a "boy" was 17. Older than that, they would refer to him as a "man." The report I heard started with the shocking summary line that "A man assaulted a boy"--the man was 18, the boy 17. They were schoolmates....
  • I'm surprised they didn't just call them "teenagers"!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    BBC again: "Arrest after fire caused building to collapse". Those police need to be less heavy-handed, someone could get hurt.

    Did they arrest the fire? After all, it seems the reason for the collapse!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited January 2024
    From BBC News:
    Japan lands on Moon but glitch threatens mission

    Which leads to the question: Where is Japan now? Is everybody on the moon, and were they asked if they wanted to go? Is there just a big hole where Japan used to be, and will Japan ever return to Earth?
  • Caption accompanying TV spiel for volunteers for a particular project:

    Volunteers will please wear pants and closed toe shoes.

    As opposed to what?
  • Nighties and flip-flops?
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    That's funnier with the British meaning of pants. :naughty:
  • That meaning is not unknown here either, although we prefer "underpants."
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I've never heard of closed toes. Should I be worried?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Shoes where your toes are covered, as opposed to open-toe, where they're not.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    They omitted the hypen, so I thought I might have a wee little fun with them. :)
  • I am posting this only because it did actually take me Quite Some Time to figure out what they meant.

    From our old reliable "Wales Online":
    Renowned Cardiff cafe The Plan to be replaced by new coffee shop
    Ummmmm, what do they think a cafe is...?
  • Indeed. And it could hardly be replaced by an old coffee shop, either.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    You may wonder if this all goes to plan.
  • Lots of coffee-drinking required for that to happen!
  • Piglet wrote: »
    There's something rather Karmic about that ... :mrgreen:

    I am reallllly tired. I read your post as "There's something rather Kermit about that..."

    Why drag Kermit the Frog into this? I wonder how the old amphibian is doing these days?

    I'll get my coat...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Well, it was in a conversation about Just Stop Oil, and he is green ...

    I'll get my coat too. :mrgreen:
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    A very ribbeting discussion!
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited February 2024
    Unlikely but perfectly correct headline on BBC (with accompanying video!): "Tesla fjord crash passengers saved by floating sauna users".
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Glad there was not much of a current.
  • How do you crash a fjord? Although, now that I think about it, I guess it would be difficult to steer a fjord.
  • It is amazing the bargains you can get at yard sales!
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    I am posting this only because it did actually take me Quite Some Time to figure out what they meant.

    From our old reliable "Wales Online":
    Renowned Cardiff cafe The Plan to be replaced by new coffee shop
    Ummmmm, what do they think a cafe is...?

    There is a difference in my mind, or rather a continuum with cafes at one end and coffee shops in the middle, with a big crossover in the middle.

    A lot would depend on the quality/quantity equation for breakfasts and the panini/chips ratio at lunch.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    That seems like a very fair point!
  • Now this is a Cafe!!! (I haven't been to it, but I have been to several others, only slightly less grand, in the same city of Budapest).

    https://lp-cms-production.imgix.net/2022-06/shutterstockRF_492702319.jpg
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Goodness; imaging having to do the dusting!!!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    ... or change the light bulbs!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    ... or clean the mirrors!
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Changing light bulbs is always a challenge if you're vertically challenged as I am. Fortunately long life bulbs and a helpful friend with a ladder make life easier.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I agree. In that case, 'long' life bulbs are more helpful that 'short' life bulbs.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I see what you did there ... :mrgreen:
  • ArielAriel Shipmate
    edited February 2024
    "King Charles escapes London minutes after Harry arrives to see how he is" (the Metro)
  • A remarkably unhelpful headline in the Washington Post today: MAGA label dogs candidate for key state House seat in Pennsylvania. Further reading, however, reveals that they are not actually running dogs for office, nor is it about a candidate representing dogs.
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