I am so grateful for your prayers and good thoughts!
I put on a mask to sit with Dad today. (Feeling better...again, thanking you for your prayers!) Dad is resting comfortably and has been asleep since Friday. My dear daughter came over, too, and we just chatted like we usually do which Dad always seemed to enjoy.
She later told me that she was kicking herself for sharing some of the problems she's having with a certain individual, and I reminded her that her Grandpa always felt safe enough with us to share things that were bothering him, and that he would be honored that she would trust him to share in the same way.
His hearing has been very bad for years, and he doesn't have his hearing aids at hospice, naturally, but he knows the sound of our voices, even if he doesn't understand everything that we say.
Dad died early this morning. It hasn't sunk in yet, but the new reality is going to be so strange. (At my age, I like my routine!)
I'm going to miss Dad so much, but I know there are very few 70 year-olds who still have their Daddies, and I am beyond grateful for these past eight+ years of taking care of him and Mom.
Oh, and Sister Useless has actually been a big help this week.
For all the complaining about her you all have endured, I wanted to make sure that you know this positive thing!
Thank you so much for your compassion and for allowing me a place to share all that has gone on. You are treasures to me.
@jedijudy, sorry to hear. Please be kind to yourself, a loss like this can knock you sideways, however you think you are ready for it. Glad your sister has been helpful.
Oh JJ, so sorry to hear that, so shortly after you lost your mum. Be consoled that they're back together again in Heaven, and enjoying whatever made them happy.
Oh @Jedi Judy, so sorry to read this news. Much love to you over the next days and weeks. I'm very glad that your sister started to "get it" towards the end. A bit of grace in a difficult time. So thankful for you that you had many happy years with your parents. Prayers ascending.
As an aging person 85 years, I thought it might help to pass on something that has proved very helpful to me. I have had my smartphone for over a year and still struggle to use it. It just seems complicated to me. My hearing aids are made to work with it, but if I do not have them on I can not hear it ring or what anyone is saying. I do not always want to wear my aids if I am home alone or carry my phone around the house. I just bought a Jitterbug phone here in the USA. I love it. It only works as a phone, text, and pictures. It is small and easy to hold. It has large buttons to dial. It has a very loud ring setting, and also works well by holding it next to my hearing aid, or turning volume up high. It has an emergency button that gets me help as well as alerts my son, and neighbor. To get a ride all I do is hit another button and tell a person where I am and where I want to go and they send someone and charge it to my phone bill. When I am ready to return home I press the button again and say I need a ride back. They track both trips. I have my laptop for almost all of the other stuff I was doing on my smart phone. I am so happy with it no stress as my other I phone often gave me trying to figure out how to work it. So if you have an older parent who is looking for an easy phone they might enjoy this. I have nothing to do with this company.
@Graven Image I found your post very interesting. I'm coming up to 84 and finding myself shut out of many banks now because I don't have a mobile phone to receive an SMS. A kind and very generous person is gifting me a smartphone, but I am doubtful about its complexity and my ability to type on it.
Your Jitterbug phone, despite its ugly name, does sound useful. I shall see if it or similar can be found in Australia.
That Jitterbug phone sounds amazing. I don't need one myself, nor does anyone I know, but you never know when someone will come into your orbit who does. I can see it being useful also for young folk who can't manage smart phones too. Off to do some reading!!
@Graven Image, that's a wonderful testimony about what sounds like a very useful device!
When Dad was still wanting to be tech-savvy, but unable to because of his dementia, that would have been a perfect idea!
There are Doro phones in the UK that are supposedly simpler to use. I bought them for my parents but they never figured out texting. They are ‘old Nokia flip phone’ style so the menus are tricky to access. I wish we had bought the smartphone style ones which I think would have been easier.
Family update:
Dad is in hospital - we suspect pneumonia. I found him breathing but unresponsive and after a scary night in Resus we thought this was the end. He is 92 and very frail.
Next morning I found him sitting up, chatting, eating and asking for his ipad!
He will be there a while and we will need to revise his care package, but it looks like there is no immediate danger.
It’s tough for me as both parents are now physically out of reach, in different directions which involve time consuming and expensive transport. But we’ll get through this.
Oh @Gill H, that's very stressful and scary. I hope your Dad will soon be on the mend, it sounds as though he's made some improvement already. I do hope you are able to get a good response re his care package.
I got a call at work from my 88 year old father's home phone number this morning. I said " Hi dad. what's up?" A female voice starting talking indicating it wasn't my father and that he fell and was being taken to the hospital to get checked out. It took about 4 sentences to realize it was my sister and not a caregiver ( she did not identify herself). She reported he was light-headed and may have hurt his shoulder. Awaiting updates. Update: My sister tells me he is in x-ray at the moment.
Broken humerous. Going home. We good homecare. Sister bringing me up to speed since I will be primary contact when she is away on vacation in early April.
Update: Not going home. X-rayed his hip. Not broken but he likely pulled his groin. Not able to walk. My and my siter's houses have many stairs so he could not come home with us. Not able to walk means he can't be at his place. He is being admitted. Still waiting to see orthopaedic surgeon to see if they need to operate on his humerous. Anglican Chaplain, who is family friend, was in to see him while I was there.
Over to see him this morning. He was in good spirits. Will be in until my sister can arrange homecare after her vacation in Cuba. Our current home care workers are not available for extended work until then.
Glad to hear he's in good spirits; hopefully being looked after in hospital and not having to do anything for himself for a wee while might speed his recovery.
Update on my Dad - he has been moved to the Acute Medical Unit which is more like a normal ward, and therefore has set visiting times. When I saw him yesterday afternoon he was talking reasonably normally and even managed to sit on the bed. He was a little vague and slurring his speech slightly but very definitely still with us.
No sooner had I got home than we had a phone call to say he wasn't responding to speech. So Peter and I caught the next train and got a taxi up to the hospital to see him.
It was as if he was asleep with his eyes open. He squeezed my hand but otherwise there was no response. But then after half an hour or so, suddenly he 'came back'. His speech was even more slurred but he was fairly coherent, although repeatedly asking desparately to go home. The doctor said he had heart failure with some fluid on the heart (I think, if that makes sense). He'd had swollen feet and legs for a week or so previously, and had been given some diuretic tablets, but hadn't started to take them because he had a dental appointment to keep, and didn't want to deal with the effects...!
This afternoon it was back to the 'asleep with eyes open' stage. No response at all to my voice or touch.
Unexpectedly, one of the clergy from our church paid him a visit, bringing some anointing oil from the chrism Mass at the cathedral. So we prayed and anointed Dad, which I know he would appreciate. While it's not really my sort of thing, it occurred to me that the sensation and smell of the oil might be a comfort to someone who wasn't in a position to follow the words of prayers.
Tomorrow is my last day at work until Tuesday so I'm hoping to spend some time sorting things at his house (yes, all the perishable food has been dealt with!)
Oh @Gill H that's very hard. I'm glad the people in Acute Care are keeping a watchful eye on your Dad. How lovely that your Clergyperson was able to visit and I hope the annointing has brought comfort and peace. I hope being away from work will allow you to take some time for yourself as well as doing the necessary sorting. Thinking of you ...
Comments
I put on a mask to sit with Dad today. (Feeling better...again, thanking you for your prayers!) Dad is resting comfortably and has been asleep since Friday. My dear daughter came over, too, and we just chatted like we usually do which Dad always seemed to enjoy.
She later told me that she was kicking herself for sharing some of the problems she's having with a certain individual, and I reminded her that her Grandpa always felt safe enough with us to share things that were bothering him, and that he would be honored that she would trust him to share in the same way.
His hearing has been very bad for years, and he doesn't have his hearing aids at hospice, naturally, but he knows the sound of our voices, even if he doesn't understand everything that we say.
I'm going to miss Dad so much, but I know there are very few 70 year-olds who still have their Daddies, and I am beyond grateful for these past eight+ years of taking care of him and Mom.
Oh, and Sister Useless has actually been a big help this week.
For all the complaining about her you all have endured, I wanted to make sure that you know this positive thing!
Thank you so much for your compassion and for allowing me a place to share all that has gone on. You are treasures to me.
Prayers for you and yours.
RIP Jedi Dad.
Your Jitterbug phone, despite its ugly name, does sound useful. I shall see if it or similar can be found in Australia.
When Dad was still wanting to be tech-savvy, but unable to because of his dementia, that would have been a perfect idea!
Dad is in hospital - we suspect pneumonia. I found him breathing but unresponsive and after a scary night in Resus we thought this was the end. He is 92 and very frail.
Next morning I found him sitting up, chatting, eating and asking for his ipad!
He will be there a while and we will need to revise his care package, but it looks like there is no immediate danger.
It’s tough for me as both parents are now physically out of reach, in different directions which involve time consuming and expensive transport. But we’ll get through this.
@Caissa Those are the kinds of calls we dread receiving! Praying for you all!
No sooner had I got home than we had a phone call to say he wasn't responding to speech. So Peter and I caught the next train and got a taxi up to the hospital to see him.
It was as if he was asleep with his eyes open. He squeezed my hand but otherwise there was no response. But then after half an hour or so, suddenly he 'came back'. His speech was even more slurred but he was fairly coherent, although repeatedly asking desparately to go home. The doctor said he had heart failure with some fluid on the heart (I think, if that makes sense). He'd had swollen feet and legs for a week or so previously, and had been given some diuretic tablets, but hadn't started to take them because he had a dental appointment to keep, and didn't want to deal with the effects...!
This afternoon it was back to the 'asleep with eyes open' stage. No response at all to my voice or touch.
Unexpectedly, one of the clergy from our church paid him a visit, bringing some anointing oil from the chrism Mass at the cathedral. So we prayed and anointed Dad, which I know he would appreciate. While it's not really my sort of thing, it occurred to me that the sensation and smell of the oil might be a comfort to someone who wasn't in a position to follow the words of prayers.
Tomorrow is my last day at work until Tuesday so I'm hoping to spend some time sorting things at his house (yes, all the perishable food has been dealt with!)