Off-putting Titles

FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
Mention on another thread of a book called Life After Doom - not a title that would tempt me, at any rate, to take it off the shelf.

What title - real or invented - would have you leaving a book unread/TV programme or film unwatched?

I've always thought Admonitionary Sermons would be an effective turn-off.

An actual instance was a documentary on the history of Lino manufacture in Kirkcaldy. Haud me doon, as they say hereabouts.
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Comments

  • MMMMMM Shipmate
    My brother once found (and it became a prize in a family quiz) ‘The History of the Concrete Roofing Tile’.

    MMM
  • There is (genuinely) a book called "Boring Postcards". It's actually fascinating and features such delights as this: https://tinyurl.com/btned3cx.
  • There is (genuinely) a book called "Boring Postcards". It's actually fascinating and features such delights as this: https://tinyurl.com/btned3cx.

    Fascinating! I don't think I can see a central barrier?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I'm sure someone somewhere once mentioned A Guide to British Roundabouts (or something similar).

    I can barely contain myself ... :mrgreen:
  • Based on bitter experience, a friend of mine once suggested a detailed study of the lavatory facilities available for the use of railway signalling staff on the line between Kentish Town and Barking: North London Toilets - the Elsan Years
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    edited August 2024
    You’ll Be Sorry You Read This (all-purpose title)
  • The title Steal This Book, by 1960s/70s activist Abbie Hoffman, came to mind, so I decided to look it up to see if it was still around. To my surprise, it's been reprinted several times, most recently (2021) in a special "50th Anniversary Edition." Wikipedia notes, "The book sold more than a quarter of a million copies between April and November 1971. The number of copies that were stolen is unknown."
  • Merry Vole wrote: »
    There is (genuinely) a book called "Boring Postcards". It's actually fascinating and features such delights as this: https://tinyurl.com/btned3cx.

    Fascinating! I don't think I can see a central barrier?

    Nope - no central barriers on motorways in those days. They came later. The first pictures of the M1 show the same.

    My dad used to have a book called "Repair of the small electric motor". I did look at it once, and I have no idea what was in it because it bored me so much.
  • Not a book, but an anecdote about a Curate, in a working-class district in Birmingham, announcing his Evensong sermon title: "The importance of recent archaeological discoveries for our understanding of the inter-testamental period". I bet that thrilled the congregation!

    It may even be true!
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Not a book, but an anecdote about a Curate, in a working-class district in Birmingham, announcing his Evensong sermon title: "The importance of recent archaeological discoveries for our understanding of the inter-testamental period". I bet that thrilled the congregation!

    It may even be true!
    My father claimed that either he or someone he knew had heard a preacher in the 1930s or 1940s in a remote and very rural upland parish in the Peak District start a sermon with the words,
    "Many of you will be familiar with the passage in the Greek Testament ...." followed by a quotation in Greek.

    However, I don't totally believe that story.

  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Possibly from the same stable as the Elder who opened in prayer with "Lord, as Thou wilt have seen in the pages of The Manchester Guardian..."
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited August 2024
    What about "An Illustrated History of British Railways Hopper Wagons"? - apparently it's a detailed history of the 37 designs of hopper wagon rolling stock. If that's too exciting, try "All About GWR Iron Minks" - sadly out of print.
  • A Short History Of Tractors In Ukrainian turns out to be a great read! (By Marina Lewycka).
  • What about "An Illustrated History of British Railways Hopper Wagons"? - apparently it's a detailed history of the 37 designs of hopper wagon rolling stock. If that's too exciting, try "All About GWR Iron Minks" - sadly out of print.

    Sounds good to me - I would probably be up all night reading it. Not so sure about the Minks, though.
  • CaissaCaissa Shipmate
    Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail seems apropos 52 years later.
  • What about "An Illustrated History of British Railways Hopper Wagons"? - apparently it's a detailed history of the 37 designs of hopper wagon rolling stock. If that's too exciting, try "All About GWR Iron Minks" - sadly out of print.

    Sounds good to me - I would probably be up all night reading it. Not so sure about the Minks, though.

    There's one on "Siphons" as well!
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Soviet Bus Stops, by Christopher Herwig. That is a genuine one. It was published in 2015. The title is bilingual but I don't know how to add the cyrillic version. And if that isn't too much excitement for you, since 2017, there has been a volume 2 available as well. In 2019, he followed them up with Soviet Metro Stations.

  • My father - a doctor - actually had a 7-inch record entitled "The auscultation of the heart". The other side had renaissance music on it. Weird!
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    An excellent learning tool, I guess, in the absence of access to multiple patients with a range of heart conditions of varying rarity.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    ... The other side had renaissance music on it ...
    Bring it on - I love a bit of Susato ... :mrgreen:
  • It was Marin Marais actually.

    Sadly.
  • My most recent favorite publisher, Leonaur, offers many obscure works to choose from. Such as:

    The Bulwark of Christendom: the Turkish Sieges of Vienna 1529 & 1683 (consisting of The Sieges of Vienna by the Turks by Karl August Schimmer & The Great Siege of Vienna,1683 by Henry Elliot Malden, with an extract from The Life of King John Sobieski by Count John Sobieski).

    Or, of course, there is Congreve's The Details of the Rocket System Employed by the British Army During the Napoleonic Wars.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited August 2024
    Of course, you've got to make sure you've got the correct William Congreve ...

    What about the hugely entertaining "Diary of a Nobody" by the Grossmiths?
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    My most recent favorite publisher, Leonaur, offers many obscure works to choose from. Such as:

    The Bulwark of Christendom: the Turkish Sieges of Vienna 1529 & 1683 (consisting of The Sieges of Vienna by the Turks by Karl August Schimmer & The Great Siege of Vienna,1683 by Henry Elliot Malden, with an extract from The Life of King John Sobieski by Count John Sobieski).

    Or, of course, there is Congreve's The Details of the Rocket System Employed by the British Army During the Napoleonic Wars.

    I would quite happily sit down and read all of those! :smiley:
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    My most recent favorite publisher, Leonaur, offers many obscure works to choose from. Such as:

    The Bulwark of Christendom: the Turkish Sieges of Vienna 1529 & 1683 (consisting of The Sieges of Vienna by the Turks by Karl August Schimmer & The Great Siege of Vienna,1683 by Henry Elliot Malden, with an extract from The Life of King John Sobieski by Count John Sobieski).

    Or, of course, there is Congreve's The Details of the Rocket System Employed by the British Army During the Napoleonic Wars.

    I would quite happily sit down and read all of those! :smiley:

    Then you would absolutely adore Leonaur Books....
  • Trump: The Complete Collection

    Except it's not what you think it is...

    https://www.darkhorse.com/Books/14-703/Trump-The-Complete-Collection-Essential-Kurtzman-Volume-Two-HC
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    ChastMastr wrote: »
    Trump: The Complete Collection

    Except it's not what you think it is...

    https://www.darkhorse.com/Books/14-703/Trump-The-Complete-Collection-Essential-Kurtzman-Volume-Two-HC

    I read a history of Playboy magazine a few months back. Not sure if they mentioned Trump, probably just in passing.

    The thumbnails at the bottom of that link show you some articles from Trump. Harvey Kurtzman was later a mentor to Terry Gilliam and Gloria Steinem.
  • HarryCHHarryCH Shipmate
    From Wikipedia: (I know people were wondering.)

    Auscultation (based on the Latin verb auscultare "to listen") is listening to the internal sounds of the body, usually using a stethoscope. Auscultation is performed for the purposes of examining the circulatory and respiratory systems (heart and breath sounds), as well as the alimentary canal. The term was introduced by René Laennec.
  • I wonder if he was Breton? His name sounds like he should have been.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Yes. Wikipedia says he was born in Quimper.
  • I read auscultation as osculation, which is not quite the same...
  • I read auscultation as osculation, which is not quite the same...

    "Missed it by THAT much!" --Maxwell Smart.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    stetson wrote: »
    ChastMastr wrote: »
    Trump: The Complete Collection

    Except it's not what you think it is...

    https://www.darkhorse.com/Books/14-703/Trump-The-Complete-Collection-Essential-Kurtzman-Volume-Two-HC

    I read a history of Playboy magazine a few months back. Not sure if they mentioned Trump, probably just in passing.

    The thumbnails at the bottom of that link show you some articles from Trump. Harvey Kurtzman was later a mentor to Terry Gilliam and Gloria Steinem.

    Just te-checked the Playboy history. Apparently, the financial loss from Trump was so bad, Hefner had to forego his salary for a short while.
  • BroJames wrote: »
    Yes. Wikipedia says he was born in Quimper.

    Thanks. It's a lovely city.
  • Alan Cresswell Alan Cresswell Admin, 8th Day Host
    After consultation behind the scenes on the bridge, we're moving this thread to the Heavenly realms.

    Alan
    Ship of Fools Admin
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    Not a book, but an anecdote about a Curate, in a working-class district in Birmingham, announcing his Evensong sermon title: "The importance of recent archaeological discoveries for our understanding of the inter-testamental period". I bet that thrilled the congregation!

    It may even be true!

    I wouldn't have been unhappy with this.
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    Hedgehog wrote: »
    My most recent favorite publisher, Leonaur, offers many obscure works to choose from. Such as:

    The Bulwark of Christendom: the Turkish Sieges of Vienna 1529 & 1683 (consisting of The Sieges of Vienna by the Turks by Karl August Schimmer & The Great Siege of Vienna,1683 by Henry Elliot Malden, with an extract from The Life of King John Sobieski by Count John Sobieski).

    Or, of course, there is Congreve's The Details of the Rocket System Employed by the British Army During the Napoleonic Wars.

    I would quite happily sit down and read all of those! :smiley:

    Then you would absolutely adore Leonaur Books....

    ...the whimpering you can hear is my credit card realising I've got somewhere else to consider buying books from :mrgreen:
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    There is (genuinely) a book called "Boring Postcards". It's actually fascinating and features such delights as this: https://tinyurl.com/btned3cx.

    That car shown in the middle photo looks like a late 50's/early60's Hillman or Singer, names which had vanished in the UK by the mid-70's, and a decade earlier here.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    edited August 2024
    I think, though, that part of the difference between a book with the off-putting title of Boring Postcards and ones like "An Illustrated History of British Railways Hopper Wagons" or "Repair of the small electric motor" is that the author of the first is archly signalling that he knows that his subject is jokingly boring, whereas the authors of the other two are genuinely keen to impart their knowledge of what to them is an interesting subject. Whatever you might think, they are fascinated by Hopper Wagons and small electric motors.

    I know in this modern age it is presumptuous of me to take this for granted, but I've assumed that the writers of all three of these works are male. I'd be very, very surprised if I were to discover I was wrong.

    I'm not letting women off on this one though. There must be off-putting titles a plenty along the lines of 'Find your soul's inner aroma - a step by step guide on crafting the scented candle that is truly you'.

  • Jane RJane R Shipmate
    I'm a woman, and I would find both kinds of book off-putting.

    I sometimes buy books just because I like the title. This is a high-risk strategy that doesn't usually pay off, but 'A Game of Scones' was worth every penny.
  • SparrowSparrow Shipmate
    Jane R wrote: »
    I'm a woman, and I would find both kinds of book off-putting.

    I sometimes buy books just because I like the title. This is a high-risk strategy that doesn't usually pay off, but 'A Game of Scones' was worth every penny.

    Sounds a bid Discworld-ish!
  • loving the "nom nom de plume" of the author!
  • Jane RJane R Shipmate
    @Sparrow : it's part of a series by Kim M. Watt which is best described as whimsical urban fantasy, set in an imaginary village near Leeds and featuring members of the local WI, who solve mysteries with the help of the local dragons. The first in the series is called Baking Bad (all the titles have terrible puns).

    However, the prize for Best Wacky Depiction of Baking Contests in a Fantasy Novel must go to Witches Inc. by K. E. Mills, despite the boring title.

    Making a strenuous effort to get back on topic, I've always thought the Worst Case Scenario handbooks were rather off-putting, although that didn't stop me buying them as gifts for various pessimists of my acquaintance.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Freeman Wills Croft probably takes the biscuit for least sensational mystery novels titles. Whereas other authors might scream
    Murder! or Death! in their titles, he goes for The Pit Prop Syndicate or The Affair at Little Wokeham or - quite racy this - The Crime at Guildford.



  • North East QuineNorth East Quine Purgatory Host
    Google is not helping me to find the exact title, but many years ago I was reading a book on a train. It was something like A History of the Women's Co-operative Movement in Kirkcaldy 1918 - 1930

    Two men asked to see it. One had a bet on with the other that no-one would either write or read such a book. He thought it must be a fake cover for porn.

    I handed it over and they confirmed that it was, indeed, about the Women's Co-operative Movement in Kirkcaldy 1918-1930.
  • The very wonderful Shire series of books about corn-dollies, locks and keys, postboxes, gravestones and the like has Betel Chewing Equipment of Papua New Guinea among its titles.

    I have yet to buy it. I have resisted that particular temptation.
  • Yeah, yeah, yeah.
  • My father - a doctor - actually had a 7-inch record entitled "The auscultation of the heart". The other side had renaissance music on it. Weird!

    Would anything perilous happen to a patient if he did a john peel and accidentally played it at the wrong speed?
  • Principles and Practice of Coprophytic A nalysis? (Imaginary)
  • MarthaMartha Shipmate
    I own (and have read) Hell and Damnation: A Sinner's Guide to Eternal Torment . It actually is a history of the idea of hell.

    If you really want a cumbersome title, try The Strata of Derbyshire by White Watson, which in full is titled: A Delineation of the Strata of Derbyshire forming the surface from Bolsover in the East to Buxton in the West, by a Plate, designed from a Tablet, composed of the specimens of each stratum within the above line, with an Explanatory Account of the same; together with A Description of the Fossils found in these Strata; and also Of the Nature and Quality of the respective Soils .
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