Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • The BBC informs us today that We want to make it easier to have children - Farage. I have no wish whatsoever to know what it is he wants to tell us that we don't already know.
  • RoseofsharonRoseofsharon Shipmate
    I've heard/seen him say it.
    He seems to think giving child benefit for child 3 and above will do the trick, but I'm not sure how money makes the process any easier
    I would think that if children 1 and 2 have already been accomplished then the parents concerned have found it easy enough.

    As a child, and the elder of two, I resented the govt giving my mother money for my brother's keep but none for mine.
    Presumably the thinking was that families should be able to support one child, but as the country needed more babies after 1945 a little financial incentive was in order.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Any thoughts I might have relating to that creature's views on procreation* are only suitable for Hell, and probably not even there. :rage:

    * or anything else for that matter ...
  • Not a headline, but the start of a news item on you-know-where: "There are severe delays across the south Wales road network this morning as unprecedented levels of wind and rain are causing chaos on the roads". Unusually heavy? Perhaps. But unprecedented?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Better than unpresidented?
  • That might represent wishful thinking by some folk in the USA!
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 3
    Local noos outlets just love the idea of apocalyptic weather, and the chaos (they know no other word) that results as traffic grinds (they know no other word) to a halt, causing heartbreak (they know no other word) to innocent motorists...
  • I'm sure that the words gridlock and carnage (neither of which are appropriate) should be in there somewhere ...
  • Local noos outlets just love the idea of apocalyptic weather, and the chaos (they know no other word) that results as traffic grinds (they know no other word) to a halt, causing heartbreak (they know no other word) to innocent motorists...

    Why do we only hear about the boring motorists who have been found to be innocent? The guilty ones would be much more newsworthy.
  • Oh, by the way, in news bulletins all rail passengers are commuters - even if they aren't.
  • I'm sure that the words gridlock and carnage (neither of which are appropriate) should be in there somewhere ...

    You're right. I had a feeling I'd missed out a couple of obligatory words...devastation and/or being devastated by whatever-it-is are also commonly found.
  • Indeed so.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 4
    I forgot to add fury, too...as in (usually) *Residents' Fury at something-or-other*.

    To be fair, they sometimes get it right. In our online news today:

    Boy, 4, dies in crash and (not as !) two men arrested.
  • They could have just put "... in crash; two men ..." which at least gives some life support to semi-colons.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    That could be totally unrelated to the tragic little boy story. 'In other news, 2 men were arrested etc.'
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Several outlets, including the BBC, currently have the rude headline:
    P***hub pulls out of France

    We could see that coming.
  • Here's your coat, and make sure you close the door, once you're on the other side of it.
    :wink:
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    BBC sport today: 'Players to get ranking protection after freezing eggs'.
    Open to a number of interpretations ....
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Help us, please: What sport would that be then?
  • Ex_OrganistEx_Organist Shipmate
    Wesley J wrote: »
    Help us, please: What sport would that be then?

    Tennis.
  • It still doesn't make sense...at least to me.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    CNBC and other outlets have:
    Paramount to cut 3% of U.S. workforce
    3% of U.S. workforce? That'll be a couple of million.- Or might they mean, of their own people?

    It's paramount we know!
  • Our local online newspaper reports: Man sentenced to six years in fatal drug-trafficking death. Another fatal death - quite shocking.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Fatal deaths are the worst!
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Wesley J wrote: »
    Fatal deaths are the worst!
    Not sure about that. Isn't the alternative finding yourself as a zombie?

  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Yesterday, BBC sported the headline:

    Jesus polished luxury vehicles at an LA car wash for years. Then ICE showed up.

    Today, I see the name has been corrected to "Jesús." I'm guessing somebody got a call.
  • If he'd been the actual Jesus, they'd still have arrested and deported him...they have no god but Trump.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    This song was written in New York City
    Of rich men, preachers and slaves
    Yes, if Jesus was to preach like he preached in Galillee,
    They would lay Jesus Christ in his grave.
    --"Jesus Christ" by Woody Guthrie
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    BBC website: 'I made Sleep Token's masks on my mum's kitchen table'. I had not the fogiest what this meant!
  • @RockyRoger we obviously listen to very different radio stations :smile: (for those who don't know, Sleep Token are a rock / metallish band, playing at Download festival this weekend, known for always wearing masks).
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    @RockyRoger we obviously listen to very different radio stations :smile: (for those who don't know, Sleep Token are a rock / metallish band, playing at Download festival this weekend, known for always wearing masks).

    Well I never ..... They have never been on BBC Radio 3!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Perhaps they'll be doing Choral Evensong next week ... :mrgreen:
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    Piglet wrote: »
    Perhaps they'll be doing Choral Evensong next week ... :mrgreen:

    I wish - that would be something!
  • This is a sad and sordid story from the BBC, however the syntax is intriguing: "Murder arrest as woman found stabbed in gas blast".
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 17
    Yet another egregious misuse of *as* - why not employ that simple word *after*?
    :angry:

    These so-called journalists should all be sent back to skool, to learn speeling, grammer, and the proper use of apostrophe's.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    They should indeed.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Good old faithful Wales Online:

    Roads sealed off after man walks through town with hammer and knife

    You seal off roads every time a carpenter goes out for a stroll? The real story is, if anything, even odder.
    Roads were sealed off and armed officers were called after a man was allegedly seen walking through a town centre with hammer and later a knife.

    Yes, you read that right. A man was carrying a hammer (at 3:30 in the afternoon, as it turns out). And armed officers were called in. Because he had a hammer. Just a hammer. He then went to a takeaway shop and took a knife from there while discarding the hammer.

    So, yes, okay, he was walking with a hammer and a knife, but not BOTH a hammer and knife.

    It reminds me of a time when my niece's college was put on "lockdown" not because of anything happening on campus, but because an armed robbery had occurred somewhere in the town where the campus was located. I pointed out that I went to college in the Bronx, NY. If they had locked down our campus every time somebody in the Bronx committed a robbery, I'd probably still be there thirty+ years later.

  • Ex_OrganistEx_Organist Shipmate
    From the BBC website: Woman stabbed to death before gas explosion named (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cdezyxx5w6lo)

    When did the naming of gas explosions begin?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Perhaps what they do with hurricanes and other storms has now expanded (see what I did there? :smile: ) to gas explosions.
  • From the New York Times today:

    Rome has tried for years to get ill-mannered tourists to behave. In 2012, Mayor Gianni Alemanno’s government passed regulations to stop tourists from snacking on monuments.

    I'm glad to hear that. They aren't very nutritious, anyway.
  • And they break your teeth.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Monumentally hazardous monuments!
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    From the BBC website. Not exactly a headline and not exactly weird, but it made me titter.
    'Plastic wet wipes will be banned in Wales to reduce environmental harm following a vote in the Senedd . . . A motion was passed in a plenary session of all 60 members'
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    From the BBC website. Not exactly a headline and not exactly weird, but it made me titter.
    'Plastic wet wipes will be banned in Wales to reduce environmental harm following a vote in the Senedd . . . A motion was passed in a plenary session of all 60 members'
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    From the BBC website. Not exactly a headline and not exactly weird, but it made me titter.
    'Plastic wet wipes will be banned in Wales to reduce environmental harm following a vote in the Senedd . . . A motion was passed in a plenary session of all 60 members'

    Did it fall between two stools?
  • *loud groans*

    I suppose there will now follow a whole chain of dreadful jokes...I feel quite flushed, just thinking about it...
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    *loud groans*

    I suppose there will now follow a whole chain of dreadful jokes...I feel quite flushed, just thinking about it...

    We'll have to see how it pans out.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    They did their business.
  • On the agenda.
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    Again, from BBC News website,
    'Woman charged with murder in missing Rolex case'.

  • Surely there wouldn't be enough room...?
    :worried:

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