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Strange messages from church

Gracious RebelGracious Rebel Shipmate
in Heaven
Just received this in an email circulated to our congregation

'xxxxxxx has reported that seagulls are attacking people walking along the front of the church. This probably means they are nesting on the roof. So please be watchful.'

What's the weirdest message you've received from church?

Comments

  • Stercus TauriStercus Tauri Shipmate
    Almost the same message a few years ago, but it was red-tailed hawks.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    What you really want is a message such as, "We regret that the baptisms planned for today have had to be postponed, due to flooding".
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    As bellringers we don't get messages, we find out by osmosis. If we are lucky.
  • TwangistTwangist Shipmate
    The prophetic meeting has been cancelled due to unforseen circumstances
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    Our best one was a note to seminarians newly assigned to our ethnic church: “The goldfish swimming upside down in our tank is not dead, and the cat in the living room window smushed between the glass and the outer storm window is not stuck. We just have weird pets.”
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