Things God SHOULD do

BoogieBoogie Heaven Host
Keep it light hearted, this is heaven. 😇

God should make chocolate brownies a very healthy food.

Comments

  • She already did - Chocolate is made from Beans, which are Vegetables, and therefore count as part of your 5-a-day.
  • She already did - Chocolate is made from Beans, which are Vegetables, and therefore count as part of your 5-a-day.
    It also contains sugar which in the UK is a root vegetable.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    How about giving chocolate negative calories, so that eating it makes you lose weight?
  • She already did - Chocolate is made from Beans, which are Vegetables, and therefore count as part of your 5-a-day.
    It also contains sugar which in the UK is a root vegetable.

    :lol:
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    God should specify a couple of days more rest per week.
  • The RogueThe Rogue Shipmate
    She already did - Chocolate is made from Beans, which are Vegetables, and therefore count as part of your 5-a-day.
    It also contains sugar which in the UK is a root vegetable.

    So Jaffa Cakes have chocolate which includes beans and sugar for two of your five-a-day and they have the orangey bit which is a third. How many Jaffa Cakes do you need to eat to achieve three full portions?
  • I’d go for the full packet, just to be sure.
  • God should take an engineering degree, learn how to design bearings properly, and then issue a recall notice to everyone with arthritic joints for a free upgrade and lifetime warranty.
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    I have always thought sweet chocolate was God's apology for broccoli.
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    Gramps49 wrote: »
    I have always thought sweet chocolate was God's apology for broccoli.

    I like both. But prime rib is an apology for liver.
  • BoogieBoogie Heaven Host
    God should take an engineering degree, learn how to design bearings properly, and then issue a recall notice to everyone with arthritic joints for a free upgrade and lifetime warranty.

    Amen!
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    I'd go for a redesign of teeth, vertebrae and my vulnerable dangly bits.
  • ArethosemyfeetArethosemyfeet Shipmate, Heaven Host
    I wouldn't say no to eyes with optical zoom.
  • ThunderBunkThunderBunk Shipmate
    Modular bodies where parts can be swapped as required. Also either complete the limb redesign to accommodate walking on our hind legs or mandate a return to a manner of walking which suits our current frame.
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    The knee is a ridiculous case of design flaw. If there were a god, they could surely do better.
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    edited June 15
    Dear God, if we could design out both periods and the menopause that would lovely, kthxbye yours all women.

    PS Birth via some kind of painless flip top arrangement would be great also
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    mousethief wrote: »
    Gramps49 wrote: »
    I have always thought sweet chocolate was God's apology for broccoli.

    I like both. But prime rib is an apology for liver.
    Heh! I love liver (and prime rib), but could take or leave chocolate. (I would never choose chocolate cake or chocolate ice cream.)

    Maybe what God should do is something like the medicine in “Mary Poppins,” that tastes like each person’s favorite flavor.


  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    ...
    Birth via some kind of painless flip top arrangement would be great also
    Like an improvement on the Caesarean section?

    After my sister had her fourth Caesarean, David suggested they might consider inserting a zip ... 🙃
  • Tree BeeTree Bee Shipmate
    God should eliminate dust, forever. Please?
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    What of vile dust?' the preacher said.
    Methought the whole world woke,
    The dead stone lived beneath my foot,
    And my whole body spoke.

    'You, that play tyrant to the dust,
    And stamp its wrinkled face,
    This patient star that flings you not
    Far into homeless space...

    'When God to all his paladins
    By his own splendour swore
    To make a fairer face than heaven,
    Of dust and nothing more.'
  • Ah... GKC! He had some good advice for God. Water and Wine, for example.
  • HarryCHHarryCH Shipmate
    I don't know about dust, but it would be nice to be rid of fleas, ticks, mites and mosquitoes.
  • Yes, but I guess they're all part of the food chain. Do away with them, and someone goes hungry.

    In the words of Thomas Hardy's Sue Bridehead - *Why should Nature's law be mutual butchery?*...

    (from Jude the Obscure )

    Material there for a Purgatory thread, I think.
  • BoogieBoogie Heaven Host
    HarryCH wrote: »
    I don't know about dust, but it would be nice to be rid of fleas, ticks, mites and mosquitoes.

    What would beautiful swifts and swallows eat?
  • I'd appreciate God having a cat that doesn't have the killing instinct, that would happily just sit in the sun outside and watch their bird friends doing their thing.
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    I'd appreciate God having a cat that doesn't have the killing instinct, that would happily just sit in the sun outside and watch their bird friends doing their thing.

    ...and crap in its own garden!
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    Boogie wrote: »
    HarryCH wrote: »
    I don't know about dust, but it would be nice to be rid of fleas, ticks, mites and mosquitoes.

    What would beautiful swifts and swallows eat?

    Yep, I'm prepared to put up with quite a lot for the swifts (two of which are currently growing fast under our eaves). Even when, as last year, the insect life I attract to the garden pays me back by sinking it's teeth into me!

    So if God could create non-biting swift fodder...
  • CathscatsCathscats Shipmate
    I'd appreciate God having a cat that doesn't have the killing instinct, that would happily just sit in the sun outside and watch their bird friends doing their thing.

    ...and crap in its own garden!

    God has given me that cat….
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    Cathscats wrote: »
    I'd appreciate God having a cat that doesn't have the killing instinct, that would happily just sit in the sun outside and watch their bird friends doing their thing.

    ...and crap in its own garden!

    God has given me that cat….

    Please move into our road!
  • So many thoughts, but most are too heavy really for here.

    I think she should have made relationships much easier to negotiate. Like, when you meet the one for you, your fingers should light up green. So you know.
  • BoogieBoogie Heaven Host
    *chuckle"

    I hope theirs would also light up green! 💚 😲
  • agingjbagingjb Shipmate
    And a red light up to warn when a sad choice might make the green light up too late.
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    Boogie wrote: »
    *chuckle"

    I hope theirs would also light up green! 💚 😲

    As the actor said to the bishop...
  • This thread seems to be telling God/god that s/he didn't really make all that good a job of *creation*.

    Maybe +Marcion was right, after all...
    :naughty: :innocent:
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    Well, biology is kinda cobbled together.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Yep. Stuff gets repurposed all the time.
  • HarryCHHarryCH Shipmate
    As far as I can tell, swallows eat flying insects, not lice or ticks. Try again.
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    HarryCH wrote: »
    As far as I can tell, swallows eat flying insects, not lice or ticks. Try again.
    As I understand it, lots of other birds do eat lice and ticks, as do other animals, such as possums/opossums, mice, squirrels, frogs and toads.


  • HarryCHHarryCH Shipmate
    From Quora: None of the human lice (head, body and pubic) have any predators specific for these lice.
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    HarryCH wrote: »
    From Quora: None of the human lice (head, body and pubic) have any predators specific for these lice.
    You didn’t specify “human lice” earlier, just “lice.” A number of animals will eat lice they find on themselves or on another animal.


  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    Exist.
  • mousethief wrote: »
    Exist.

    That might be good.

    Or it might not be.
  • Damaged body parts that always regrow.
  • BurgessBurgess Shipmate Posts: 20
    Turn water into beer. Not the wine. Should have a choice for the zero percent alcohol beers please to not lead me into temptation and end my soberity.
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    edited June 21
    Damaged body parts that always regrow.

    At least God has given us the ability to try to figure that out https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/complete-axolotl-genome-could-reveal-secret-regenerating-tissues-180971335/
    Burgess wrote: »
    Turn water into beer. Not the wine. Should have a choice for the zero percent alcohol beers please to not lead me into temptation and end my soberity.

    Getting to be more non-alcohol beers that are tasting good. My preference remains the stouts. One day at a time, friend.

  • SparrowSparrow Shipmate
    Gramps49 wrote: »

    Getting to be more non-alcohol beers that are tasting good. My preference remains the stouts. One day at a time, friend.

    My partner reports that non alcohol Guinness is almost as good as the real thing.
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    Sparrow wrote: »
    Gramps49 wrote: »

    Getting to be more non-alcohol beers that are tasting good. My preference remains the stouts. One day at a time, friend.

    My partner reports that non alcohol Guinness is almost as good as the real thing.

    As a lover of dark beers, but a non-worshipper at the altar of Guinness I actually prefer the low alcohol version, it seems to have a bit more flavour.
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