Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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Comments

  • Another misuse of "as", this time by the BBC: "Pass rates rise as Scottish pupils receive exam results". This seems to imply that, as the students grab and prise open their envelopes, the information contained within miraculously and advantageously mutates.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Magic!

    This is from a Brook Taverner mailing:
    Trousers Up To 60% Off

    Surely, this would be shorts. then!
  • Depends if they've been off at the top, bottom or sides.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Another misuse of "as", this time by the BBC: "Pass rates rise as Scottish pupils receive exam results". This seems to imply that, as the students grab and prise open their envelopes, the information contained within miraculously and advantageously mutates.

    I wish mine had done that! :mrgreen:
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    From the BBC News website:
    'Talking parrot helps bring down drugs gang'.
    Priceless!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited August 7
    It came at a price for the drugs gang, Well done, Polly! :smile:

    NB. I wonder if the bird is a Norwegian Blue.
  • I don't know. Is it late?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Hm. We'd have to read the story to see if it was late, or just in time. The whole thing worked out well in the end though. The miscreants have gone, if not to meet their maker, at least to meet their worldly judge and judgement. :)
  • I fear that you may not have picked up the "Monty Python" reference.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    I fear that you may not have picked up the "Monty Python" reference.

    Even though he introduced the Norwegian Blue?
  • Ah, hadn't noted that!
  • From "The Nation": Fly tipper pays heavy price for dumping concrete in road.

    Well, yes - concrete is heavy!
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    "Fly tipper"??? Look, I have no problem with tipping waiters or waitresses. They are paid abominably and deserve whatever I give them. But flies??? I have to tip the bleeping flies????

    No. Sorry, That is where I draw the line.
  • That's one that never made it all the way across the Atlantic. I had to look it up, and the nearest was the rather formal 'illegal dumping'. (It is quite unrelated to cow tipping, which I believe is also known in the USA).
  • Something amused me on the Wales ITV news yesterday. They were talking about a new and worthwhile initiative which, they said, would help patients leave hospital "more quickly".

    Surely they'll leave at much the same speed as before - but sooner!
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Designer Found On Boat's Potential Cause Of Death Revealed

    Ummmmmmmm, yeah.
  • It's as mangled as a Scottish metrical psalm! (Sorry @Piglet).
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    Designer Found On Boat's Potential Cause Of Death Revealed

    Ummmmmmmm, yeah.

    I think I know what that is trying to say, but it looks as though someone took a handful of words and just threw them down on the page without taking aim.
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    Designer Found On Boat's Potential Cause Of Death Revealed

    Ummmmmmmm, yeah.

    I think I know what that is trying to say, but it looks as though someone took a handful of words and just threw them down on the page without taking aim.

    Quotes file!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited August 13
    From the Alloa Advertiser:
    Funeral director appears in court charged over human remains found at premises

    Wouldn't you expect to find human remains at a funeral director's premises?

    In case you're wondering, apparently he was keeping them there for rather longer than he should, and was charged with "preventing lawful and decent burial", along with sundry other charges relating to fraudulent funeral plans.

  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Since, presumably, the reason why people employ an undertaker is to implement the lawful and decent burial of their late relatives, it does strike me as being a particularly heinous crime if it is an undertaker who is committing it.

  • Rugby news from you-can-guess-where: "Louis Rees-Zammit flies in to sign deal and Scotland international dies". Wow, I bet Rees-Zammit didn't intend to have quite that effect!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    At least they said "and" rather than "as" ...
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    It seems to me like a bit of an overreaction by the Scotland international. I mean, it's just a contract, dude. Chill!
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