Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Well, if you position yourself on the track, then it may well terrorise you!
  • Or a Crocodile, maybe?

    Crocodile terrorises railway as passengers flee...

    https://tinyurl.com/44sc6amh

    I will be chastened and sent back to the railway discussion again if I allow my feelings for the blessed Krokodil to be expressed here...
  • Or a Crocodile, maybe?

    Crocodile terrorises railway as passengers flee...

    https://tinyurl.com/44sc6amh

    That's what I had in mind!

    Crocodile turns red as passengers devoured...
  • I fear that this thread has come off the tracks - back to the Headlines!
  • Or a Crocodile, maybe?

    Crocodile terrorises railway as passengers flee...

    https://tinyurl.com/44sc6amh

    I will be chastened and sent back to the railway discussion again if I allow my feelings for the blessed Krokodil to be expressed here...

    They are indeed most splendid and puissant locomotives - it's the nickname, of course, which gives rise to silly tangents like the one I've started.

    Sorry about that. Please carry on.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I'll soon have to host myself, if these tangents continue! That's gonna be interesting. So let's not lose our trains of thought here. :)
  • Not a headline, but an amusing typo in a report I received yesterday prior to a school Admission Appeal next week - it spoke of a "population bugle" moving through secondary schools.

    I wonder what it was playing - Reveille or The Last Post, perhaps?
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Reminds me of the sign outside a travel agency advertising 'Budet Holidays' - I imagine a rather down-market resort on the Dalmatian coast.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    The Wordle for the other day was BULGE, and it was obvious that several of the people who post their grids on my FB timeline had BUGLE as their penultimate guess.
  • Firenze wrote: »
    Reminds me of the sign outside a travel agency advertising 'Budet Holidays' - I imagine a rather down-market resort on the Dalmatian coast.
    As opposed to spots on the Dalmatian's coat.

  • AzzAzz Shipmate Posts: 6
    Piglet wrote: »
    The Wordle for the other day was BULGE, and it was obvious that several of the people who post their grids on my FB timeline had BUGLE as their penultimate guess.

    I did!
  • Carpe scrotum. From the (paywalled) online edition of the Townsville Bulletin just now: Townsville District Court: Woman walks free after biting boyfriend’s balls.
  • We need more information. Was she trying to sabotage his golf game?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Crikey! :flushed:
  • We need more information. Was she trying to sabotage his golf game?

    No, we don't need any more detail. That is more than enough.
  • From MLB.com:

    Realmuto (foul ball off hand) avoids serious injury after negative X-rays

    He avoided injury AFTER the x-rays???
  • Oh FFS. Do these *reporters* never check what they've written?
  • Surely that's the sub-editors' job?

    (Oh, silly me - I forgot that sub-editors no longer exist).
  • I'm not sure they even have Real Life reporters - more like rather poor AI creations...
  • Both English and mathematics have suffered at the hands of West Coast Today:
    A hydro scheme proposed for Loch Awe has been reduced by more than three times its original size.
    I think it means it is now minus twice its original size - some challenging engineering there.
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    From MLB.com:

    Realmuto (foul ball off hand) avoids serious injury after negative X-rays

    He avoided injury AFTER the x-rays???

    Getting off the x-ray machine can be very risky, you know.
  • What what are these "negative X-rays"? Did the rays emanate from the patient and go to the scanner?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Maybe they'd had a bad day, the x-rays, and were grumpy and unfriendly?
  • As it happens, I've just come back from taking my wife for an X-ray (shoulder).
  • My brother sent me a cartoon of a small boy contemplating two swings - you know, the sort of thing you find in a children's playground.

    The swings were saying *F*** Off*.

    The caption was *Mood Swings*.

    I'll get me coat, whilst you lot get back to the headlines.
  • carexcarex Shipmate
    Mount St. Helens is not erupting this week, scientists say

    Well, that's a reassuring short-term forecast, at least, although one would think that those who can see it on the horizon would come to the same conclusion.

    But they didn't, and that's the purpose of the news release: those watching it saw what appeared to be steam or ash venting from (what remains of) the top. It was actually volcanic ash left from the 1980 explosion that was picked up by a strong East wind and blown a few km into the sky.
  • Yes, it makes sense when you explain it - but perhaps they could have said *Mount St Helens is not at present erupting*, or words to that effect.

    Our local *noos* would render it thus:

    Volcano not erupting as ash blows into sky
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited September 27
    Not a weird headline, but I notice that, according to our online calendar, our church hall has been booked for "onion pealing". That should sound interesting, not very resonant though!

    (To explain, said onions are being prepared for pickling and bottling, for sale at our Christmas Fair).
  • Hopefully, the prepared onions will be appealing, and sell well...
    :yum:
  • They always do.
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    Designer Found On Boat's Potential Cause Of Death Revealed

    Ummmmmmmm, yeah.

    I think I know what that is trying to say, but it looks as though someone took a handful of words and just threw them down on the page without taking aim.
    Not a weird headline, but I notice that, according to our online calendar, our church hall has been booked for "onion pealing". That should sound interesting, not very resonant though!

    (To explain, said onions are being prepared for pickling and bottling, for sale at our Christmas Fair).
    I suspect bells would resonate better. I don't recall hearing of a peal rung on onions....

  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    Designer Found On Boat's Potential Cause Of Death Revealed

    Ummmmmmmm, yeah.

    I think I know what that is trying to say, but it looks as though someone took a handful of words and just threw them down on the page without taking aim.
    Not a weird headline, but I notice that, according to our online calendar, our church hall has been booked for "onion pealing". That should sound interesting, not very resonant though!

    (To explain, said onions are being prepared for pickling and bottling, for sale at our Christmas Fair).
    I suspect bells would resonate better. I don't recall hearing of a peal rung on onions....

    There's a first time for everything ...
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    Designer Found On Boat's Potential Cause Of Death Revealed

    Ummmmmmmm, yeah.

    I think I know what that is trying to say, but it looks as though someone took a handful of words and just threw them down on the page without taking aim.
    Not a weird headline, but I notice that, according to our online calendar, our church hall has been booked for "onion pealing". That should sound interesting, not very resonant though!

    (To explain, said onions are being prepared for pickling and bottling, for sale at our Christmas Fair).
    I suspect bells would resonate better. I don't recall hearing of a peal rung on onions....

    There's a first time for everything ...

    🧅🧅🧅🔔🔔🔔🤣🤣🤣
  • I smiled at this in today's "i": "New Housing Secretary pledges to build homes faster".

    I can't think of a better way of putting it - but it conjures up images of demented builders scurrying around in a speeded-up film.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    ...our church hall has been booked for "onion pealing" ...
    I read that as "online pealing" - is that what bell-ringers did whenever we were in lockdown?
  • Piglet wrote: »
    ...our church hall has been booked for "onion pealing" ...
    I read that as "online pealing" - is that what bell-ringers did whenever we were in lockdown?

    It was, actually, yes. There's something called, I think, Ringing Room, that lets you ring handbells (or simulate doing so, not sure) with people who are in Forn Parts.
  • AzzAzz Shipmate Posts: 6
    Piglet wrote: »
    ...our church hall has been booked for "onion pealing" ...
    I read that as "online pealing" - is that what bell-ringers did whenever we were in lockdown?

    It was, actually, yes. There's something called, I think, Ringing Room, that lets you ring handbells (or simulate doing so, not sure) with people who are in Forn Parts.

    Not just handbells, but tower bells too. In fact, one of our regular ringers is part of a very prolific online band who ring quarter peals two or three times a week, dedicated to events such as National Comic Book Day.
  • Piglet wrote: »
    ...our church hall has been booked for "onion pealing" ...
    I read that as "online pealing" - is that what bell-ringers did whenever we were in lockdown?

    It was, actually, yes. There's something called, I think, Ringing Room, that lets you ring handbells (or simulate doing so, not sure) with people who are in Forn Parts.

    The things one learns on the Ship!
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