'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
This morning I remembered a conversation I had with a colleague about 12-13 years ago that made me feel rather old at the time. I watched the Berlin Wall coming down on live TV (and talked about it with friends in the 6th form common room over the next week). She learnt about it in school history lessons...
At one time "kicked the bucket" was quite common, though perhaps not in polite company.
I had occasion to enquire whether a friend was still the right way up, this morning :-)
I guess we smile at these things because we have to, but I don't want to do anything but sympathise with @Graven Image either. I hope you have plenty of good memories, which are still a blessing when you think about them.
I started noticing it about ten years ago. It bothers me. My Vietnamese headband has already terrified a few people when he's told them that I "passed" (out) and they took it he meant "passed" (away).
"They are dead. Their bodies are rotting in the ground/have been burnt to ash. Any non-corporeal part of them is now facing the judgement of any divine being that might exist. So they are fucked , aren't they?"
I guess I accept what people want to say. I generally use "died", but I know that for some people - and maybe @Graven Image is one - find that too harsh and disturbing. So a euphemism that might reflect a gentle death works for them.
As long as it is clear to me what they mean, I want to be tolerant of people who struggle with the deaths of others.
I was baffled the first time I heard the Sally-ann "Promoted". That confused me. But I get that some people need to see the death of another in a positive light. And I will not dismiss this.
I know I am getting old, because my generation is the oldest now in my family. And my wife's family. We are the next generation to go.
I know my friends are dead. I used the word passed as they have passed out of my life.
People, and cultural groups, will have their own ways of talking about death. We all have our preferences and our dislikes.
But I’m a bit dumbfounded that so many have seen fit to pile on the use of “passed” rather than “died” in response to a shipmate reflecting on how many or her friends have died. I mean seriously, neither the time nor the place.
I apologize. The way I access threads on the Ship means that, if the relevant post doesn't appear within maybe three of my own, I'm very likely not to remember that it was posted so recently, or on this particular thread.
It comes up every few years in conversation: "Do you remember shiny toilet paper?" (Yes - I do). It was often printed with the name of the establishment providing it, such as the University of Aberdeen, ensuring that it became a prime target for pilferage.
My grandparents had a metal Izal dispenser on their toilet wall; it remained there because my grandfather had painted round it the last time he had redecorated, and removing it would mean repainting the room. The Izal in it was years old; there was a roll of soft toilet paper on a shelf beside the toilet.
When we were first dating, the North East Man failed to spot the soft paper and assumed the Izal was all that there was. He didn't want to complain, and it was some time before he spotted the roll.
The equivalent of a knightly ordeal bravely undertaken in pursuit of the hand of a lady!
People, and cultural groups, will have their own ways of talking about death. We all have our preferences and our dislikes.
But I’m a bit dumbfounded that so many have seen fit to pile on the use of “passed” rather than “died” in response to a shipmate reflecting on how many or her friends have died. I mean seriously, neither the time nor the place.
Perhaps there is a little more to it than that. Death can be traumatic, harrowing and many other things - we know that well. Perhaps humour might be a coping device that helps some of us deal with it if the occasion allows it, though not always easy to share and be understood. There is no "one size fits all", and of course insensitive, ill-timed humour is extremely harmful. I am sure we all understand that.
People, and cultural groups, will have their own ways of talking about death. We all have our preferences and our dislikes.
But I’m a bit dumbfounded that so many have seen fit to pile on the use of “passed” rather than “died” in response to a shipmate reflecting on how many or her friends have died. I mean seriously, neither the time nor the place.
Perhaps there is a little more to it than that. Death can be traumatic, harrowing and many other things - we know that well. Perhaps humour might be a coping device that helps some of us deal with it if the occasion allows it, though not always easy to share and be understood. There is no "one size fits all", and of course insensitive, ill-timed humour is extremely harmful. I am sure we all understand that.
Sure, I get that. Gallows humor is definitely my style. And I also know all too well how easy it is to lose track of what thread I’m in or what started a particular bit of discussion.
But what I’m talking about is not joking to help us deal. I’m talking about the posts basically criticizing a shipmate’s choice of words in a post about her grief, to the point that shipmate felt the need to follow-up with a post explaining her use of “passed.”
Does the Salvation Army still use the phrase "promoted to glory"? When I was a lad I was told that was how they talked about the death of one of their members.
you walk to the fridge. You open the door. You can't remember what yoi have gone there for. You walk back to the table. You sit down. Mrs RR asks, 'Where's the marmalade dear?'
Then you remember. You walk to the fridge .....
you walk to the fridge. You open the door. You can't remember what yoi have gone there for. You walk back to the table. You sit down. Mrs RR asks, 'Where's the marmalade dear?'
Then you remember. You walk to the fridge .....
Been doing that since I started wearing long trousers.
you walk to the fridge. You open the door. You can't remember what yoi have gone there for. You walk back to the table. You sit down. Mrs RR asks, 'Where's the marmalade dear?'
Then you remember. You walk to the fridge .....
That would never happen in our house because (a) we don't keep the marmalade in the fridge and (b) Mrs BT doesn't like marmalade. I do, especially this: https://tinyurl.com/59a7d4wj
I have a trip coming up and am now fretting not just over the detailed arrangements but whether my knee will hold out and if I’ll have enough stamina to do all the sightseeing I hope to do.
About once a year we have to buy marmalade, because Mrs Sioni makes marmalade every February. A couple of jars go to friends (who usually return the favour), so while it isn’t free it is ours.
Opened jars are in the fridge, unopened in the cupboard.
Make a grocery order, can not for the life of me remember what else is needed. I have 24 hours to add to the order. On hour 25, oh yes needed dish soap.
One thing that irritates me about newspaper death announcements is that they generally use no verb at all. The announcement will say something like "Suddenly, at X, on the Y, Jeannie McGlumpher, aged 97" with no indication as to exactly what Jeannie McGlumpher did suddenly. I have told my children that if I do not get a verb I will come back and haunt them. They have had more fun than is seemly planning which verb I will get. I think "carked it" is the current front runner.
That said, newspaper birth, marriage and death announcements (hatched, matched and dispatched) seem to be waning in popularity, so perhaps I will not get any announcement, let alone one with a verb.
My parents in law put both of our children's births in their local newspaper, which seemed odd and antiquated to me (15 and 11 years ago). But I guess there isn't really another way to mark births. Obituaries often go online.
I am young on this website (in my 40s) but my kids have to translate the latest trends for me.
Oh no, you simply must have a notice (with a verb). I’m beginning to consider how I might acquire a verb of my own. My son has a great facility for colorful metaphors.
There is no longer a local paper here, so there will be no need for an obituary when I die ( my choice of verb).
Where I am, families can submit obituaries to the funeral home or crematorium involved for publishing online at little to no charge. (Legacy.com seems to be the common spot for them. ) The funeral home’s/crematorium’s website will give basic information about the deceased, including service information, and provide a link to the obituary,
An advantage of this system is that one can easily find obituaries going back years.
This morning I remembered a conversation I had with a colleague about 12-13 years ago that made me feel rather old at the time. I watched the Berlin Wall coming down on live TV (and talked about it with friends in the 6th form common room over the next week). She learnt about it in school history lessons...
Similarly! About 10 years ago a younger teaching colleague gave a history lecture on the Yugoslav break-up to a roomful of pupils. It was bad enough seeing these events of my university years being presented as "history", but at the end an even younger teaching colleague came up to me and said: "That was really interesting! I never heard about that before. Was it a big thing on the news at the time?" He had been but a toddler in the 1990s...
The phase that annoys us is "S/He lost the battle with cancer". We were pleased it was not used at my BIL's funeral.
That annoys me too. Speaking for myself, I never battled cancer; the gifted and dedicated medics fought and won that battle for me. I was not much more than an interested (and grateful) spectator.
One thing that irritates me about newspaper death announcements is that they generally use no verb at all. The announcement will say something like "Suddenly, at X, on the Y, Jeannie McGlumpher, aged 97" with no indication as to exactly what Jeannie McGlumpher did suddenly. I have told my children that if I do not get a verb I will come back and haunt them. They have had more fun than is seemly planning which verb I will get. I think "carked it" is the current front runner.
That said, newspaper birth, marriage and death announcements (hatched, matched and dispatched) seem to be waning in popularity, so perhaps I will not get any announcement, let alone one with a verb.
They will be paying by the word, so probably "Quine's died" will be all you will get.
This morning I remembered a conversation I had with a colleague about 12-13 years ago that made me feel rather old at the time. I watched the Berlin Wall coming down on live TV (and talked about it with friends in the 6th form common room over the next week). She learnt about it in school history lessons...
Similarly! About 10 years ago a younger teaching colleague gave a history lecture on the Yugoslav break-up to a roomful of pupils. It was bad enough seeing these events of my university years being presented as "history", but at the end an even younger teaching colleague came up to me and said: "That was really interesting! I never heard about that before. Was it a big thing on the news at the time?" He had been but a toddler in the 1990s...
A bloke at work (nearly 40, bright enough, interested in the news) has no idea about the troubles in NI. But then I have no idea about the Suez crisis, Aden, and only a hazy idea about the Cuban missile crisis, etc etc.
This morning I remembered a conversation I had with a colleague about 12-13 years ago that made me feel rather old at the time. I watched the Berlin Wall coming down on live TV (and talked about it with friends in the 6th form common room over the next week). She learnt about it in school history lessons...
Similarly! About 10 years ago a younger teaching colleague gave a history lecture on the Yugoslav break-up to a roomful of pupils. It was bad enough seeing these events of my university years being presented as "history", but at the end an even younger teaching colleague came up to me and said: "That was really interesting! I never heard about that before. Was it a big thing on the news at the time?" He had been but a toddler in the 1990s...
A bloke at work (nearly 40, bright enough, interested in the news) has no idea about the troubles in NI. But then I have no idea about the Suez crisis, Aden, and only a hazy idea about the Cuban missile crisis, etc etc.
I still recall the look on my elementary school-aged daughter’s face when she was describing to us what she’d learned about segregation, and we informed her that when we were her age, schools and many other aspects of life were still segregated.
Without thinking, I said to someone of my own age that I'd get back in touch on the blower. "The what?", she said. When did you last hear anyone call the telephone 'the blower'? I never use the word, but somehow it was still there in the mental thesaurus and slipped out.
Without thinking, I said to someone of my own age that I'd get back in touch on the blower. "The what?", she said. When did you last hear anyone call the telephone 'the blower'? I never use the word, but somehow it was still there in the mental thesaurus and slipped out.
My grandfather was born in 1869 but my father, the last of eight children ,was not born until 1914. We lived in my grandfather's house and after my grandfather had read me a bedtime story he would turn out the gaslight.
Funnily enough we had electricity in the living room of the house but all the other rooms were lit by gas.
I also remember as a child in the late 1940s the 'leery' coming with a long pole to light the gas street lamps in the winter evenings.
Now I am old,but still alive.
Without thinking, I said to someone of my own age that I'd get back in touch on the blower. "The what?", she said. When did you last hear anyone call the telephone 'the blower'? I never use the word, but somehow it was still there in the mental thesaurus and slipped out.
Today’s the first time I’ve heard it. I’m 65.
Maybe not widely used in your neck of the US. Certainly an expression I’ve heard many times in earlier days, probably less in the last 20 years when mobiles became a thing.
"Blower" is more a British slang. It originally referred to those speaking tubes you sometimes see in old movies where a person blows in the tube and somebody elsewhere in the building picks up the other end and they speak. By a fairly obvious extension, "blower" became a slang term for a telephone.
But, outside of old movies, I cannot say I recall ever personally hearing somebody use the term.
Comments
I had occasion to enquire whether a friend was still the right way up, this morning :-)
I guess we smile at these things because we have to, but I don't want to do anything but sympathise with @Graven Image either. I hope you have plenty of good memories, which are still a blessing when you think about them.
I know my friends are dead. I used the word passed as they have passed out of my life.
That said, I do have a fondness for John Le Mesurier's conked out
Ah, round objects! You'll have to scroll through the comments to find the death notice. Sorry!
Ctrl+F is your friend.
But I’m a bit dumbfounded that so many have seen fit to pile on the use of “passed” rather than “died” in response to a shipmate reflecting on how many or her friends have died. I mean seriously, neither the time nor the place.
The equivalent of a knightly ordeal bravely undertaken in pursuit of the hand of a lady!
Perhaps there is a little more to it than that. Death can be traumatic, harrowing and many other things - we know that well. Perhaps humour might be a coping device that helps some of us deal with it if the occasion allows it, though not always easy to share and be understood. There is no "one size fits all", and of course insensitive, ill-timed humour is extremely harmful. I am sure we all understand that.
But what I’m talking about is not joking to help us deal. I’m talking about the posts basically criticizing a shipmate’s choice of words in a post about her grief, to the point that shipmate felt the need to follow-up with a post explaining her use of “passed.”
Then you remember. You walk to the fridge .....
Been doing that since I started wearing long trousers.
I have a trip coming up and am now fretting not just over the detailed arrangements but whether my knee will hold out and if I’ll have enough stamina to do all the sightseeing I hope to do.
Opened jars are in the fridge, unopened in the cupboard.
That said, newspaper birth, marriage and death announcements (hatched, matched and dispatched) seem to be waning in popularity, so perhaps I will not get any announcement, let alone one with a verb.
I am young on this website (in my 40s) but my kids have to translate the latest trends for me.
An advantage of this system is that one can easily find obituaries going back years.
Passed seems to come from black American culture but the OED says it was first used in the 1300s.
Similarly! About 10 years ago a younger teaching colleague gave a history lecture on the Yugoslav break-up to a roomful of pupils. It was bad enough seeing these events of my university years being presented as "history", but at the end an even younger teaching colleague came up to me and said: "That was really interesting! I never heard about that before. Was it a big thing on the news at the time?" He had been but a toddler in the 1990s...
That annoys me too. Speaking for myself, I never battled cancer; the gifted and dedicated medics fought and won that battle for me. I was not much more than an interested (and grateful) spectator.
They will be paying by the word, so probably "Quine's died" will be all you will get.
That should have been
I have never seen the phrase used for MND or Parkinson's
A bloke at work (nearly 40, bright enough, interested in the news) has no idea about the troubles in NI. But then I have no idea about the Suez crisis, Aden, and only a hazy idea about the Cuban missile crisis, etc etc.
Now that makes me feel old
Funnily enough we had electricity in the living room of the house but all the other rooms were lit by gas.
I also remember as a child in the late 1940s the 'leery' coming with a long pole to light the gas street lamps in the winter evenings.
Now I am old,but still alive.
Maybe not widely used in your neck of the US. Certainly an expression I’ve heard many times in earlier days, probably less in the last 20 years when mobiles became a thing.
But, outside of old movies, I cannot say I recall ever personally hearing somebody use the term.