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It's a cracker!

Alan Cresswell Alan Cresswell Admin, 8th Day Host
in Heaven
Many of us will have pulled crackers today (or in recent weeks at various Christmas meals). Here's your chance to share the "joke" you got.

I realise this could be a cross over with the bad jokes thread, but hopefully as a dedicated short term thread specifically for what's on bits of paper in a Christmas cracker it can stand alone.

To start:

What's the most popular Christmas wine?

"I don't like sprouts"

Comments

  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    Ours were terrible.

    What do you call a cat in the desert?
    Sandy Claws

    [tangent] This was the first time my son had encountered the engine of festive mirth which is the Christmas cracker. He thought they were awesome. Also I insist that the silly hats must be worn, at least temporarily, in honour of my Grandad, who always wore his. [/tangent]
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    What is an owl's favourite branch of mathematics?
    Owlgebra.
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    Pulling a craker by yourself is not much fun.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Dafyd wrote: »
    What is an owl's favourite branch of mathematics?
    Owlgebra.

    Gadzooks. If it's at the point where you have to include the punned word in both the question and the answer, you need to find another calling in life besides writing christmas-cracker jokes.
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    Mine was “How do snails keep their shells shiny?”
    With snail varnish.
    Is that what it’s called in the UK? I have my daughter the point for guessing
    Snail polish.

    Meanwhile, I had a shoe horn in my cracker, and both wife and daughter got very small tape dispensers. :lol:


  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    What says "Oh, oh, oh?"

    Santa walking backwards.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
    A woolly jumper.

    Why was the fish embarassed?
    Because the seaweed.

    What do you call a penguin in the desert?
    Lost.

  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    What do you get if you cross a tambourine with a submarine?
    .
    .
    .
    .

    The Salvation Navy
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    Mine was “How do snails keep their shells shiny?”
    With snail varnish.
    Is that what it’s called in the UK?

    In the movie Goldfinger, written by a Brit and a Yank, Bond observes that the villain's name "sounds like a French nail varnish".

    Mind you, he's talking to an American when he says that.

    (The gin-rummy scene, available on YouTube.)
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    What do you get if you cross a tambourine with a submarine?
    .
    .
    .
    .

    The Salvation Navy

    As someone with a great deal of Sally Atmy heritage in my family... that is hilarious!
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