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You’ve just been killed…

betjemaniacbetjemaniac Shipmate
edited August 23 in The Circus
Never started a thread in the Circus before - I think this would work in heaven too but is probably more appropriate here…

Anyway, you’ve just been killed. Which fictional detective (book, TV, film) do you want to investigate? Also anyone you wouldn’t want?

I think for me I’d want Foyle. There’s just something about him looking disappointed and essentially shaming a confession.

I wouldn’t want Morse. He (at best) inconveniences too many people whom he wrongly fingers before eventually getting the right person.

Comments

  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    edited August 23
    Inspector Clouseau. He would suspect everybody. He would suspect nobody. It was of course the Minky. Everyone can have a good laugh at Clouseau's antics. My death would not have been in vain.
  • RoseofsharonRoseofsharon Shipmate
    George Wexford, I think, as he always seemed so kind and caring.

    Or Vera Stanhope, who is so down to earth and doesn't have a life filled with complicated relationships to distract her from the job in hand. Unfortunately that would probably mean that my family has 'issues' that go back several generations.

    Of course, living so near to Brighton it would probably fall to Roy Grace to get to the truth of my demise - which, unfortunately, means it was violent, bloody and probably protracted
  • Stercus TauriStercus Tauri Shipmate
    I'd choose a best-seller like Sherlock Holmes if there was a way to claim a share of the royalties for the next hundred years or so.
  • alienfromzogalienfromzog Shipmate
    Detective Superintendent Pullman, Mr Jack Halford, Mr Gerry Standing, Mr Brian (Memory) Lane, Constable Clarke.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I think I'm with RR - Inspector Clouseau (played by Peter Sellers, obviously) will give everyone (and me, hopefully looking down from Heaven) a good laugh.

  • ThunderBunkThunderBunk Shipmate
    Poirot. Fussy but psychological and astute.
  • BoogieBoogie Heaven Host
    The Thursday Murder Club.

    Great bunch of folk, investigate with humour and always get their wo/man.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    (Chief) Inspector Joseph French, created by Freeman Wills Crofts. A kind, painstaking, and usually successful detective, especially good at working out complex problems relating to the timing of the crime...
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    Just a thought: my second choice would be Father Brown. He would pray for my soul (which needs it!).
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Not detectives but can I have the Silent Witness team. Nikki has to do the autopsy, obviously.
  • HarryCHHarryCH Shipmate
    Either Jane Marple or the Thursday Murder Club.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Dame Beatrice Adela Lestrange Bradley. I will have died in a decorous, painless, but puzzling manner in a locked room. Dr Fell can join in.
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    John from Minority Report - where the precogs stop crimes before they happen - so I get to live !
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    I want Poirot. If he is investigating my death, then my life must have become considerably more glamorous than it is now.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Hmmmm. Not Philo Vance. He'd solve it, but is too pompous. Not Ellery Queen. He'd solve it but make the whole thing way more complicated than it needs to be. Not Nero Wolfe. Too expensive.

    I think I would choose any of the four Ambrose Ganelons, with a preference for Ambrose I. Not for any particular reason, but only because that would mean I was killed in beautiful San Sebastiano, possibly at the casino. Possibly shot with a genuine Hrosco.

    [Explanatory Note: James Powell, the author of the Ganelon stories, leatned early that if you name a real gun in your story, you will be bombarded with comments from "experts" telling you what trifling detail you got wrong. So he invented his own brand of gun, the Hrosco. Nobody can complain because a Hrosco does what a Hrosco does.]
  • Stercus TauriStercus Tauri Shipmate
    While planning your dramatic demise it would be well to recall a perspicacious comment from some months back...

    @KarlLB wrote: »
    My theory about amateur sleuths like Miss Marple is that they do the murders then frame some other sap. Similarly, there's an undetected serial killer in Midsomer who pins his crimes on a series of other people.
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    Elijah Baley
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    Ooooh!!!!

  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    How does KarlLB know this .... hmmm... suspicious!
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    Given that this is how I got my comeuppance, it's going to have to be Barnaby, isn't it?

    (shot for the makers of the gear's socials, outside the pavilion at Warborough, Oxon, which has been in dozens of episodes)
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    How does KarlLB know this .... hmmm... suspicious!

    Statistically it's by far the most likely explanation for the facts.
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    KarlLB wrote: »
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    How does KarlLB know this .... hmmm... suspicious!

    Statistically it's by far the most likely explanation for the facts.

    You would say that, wouldn't you?
    I suspect nobody ... I suspect everybody.
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate
    I would want the Unforgotten team to solve it, because they are amazing. The original team, with Nicola Walker, of course - not that Sinead Keenan is not brilliant too.

    I am aware this would man it wouldn't get solved for 20 years or so, But I am in no hurry. I am dead after all.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    la vie en rouge wrote: »
    I want Poirot. If he is investigating my death, then my life must have become considerably more glamorous than it is now.
    That was my thinking too!
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    Heavenlyannie wrote: »
    la vie en rouge wrote: »
    I want Poirot. If he is investigating my death, then my life must have become considerably more glamorous than it is now.
    That was my thinking too!

    You could make a whole thesis of it, @Heavenlyannie !
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    Just a thought: my second choice would be Father Brown. He would pray for my soul (which needs it!).
    I was thinking Father Brown. He would stand a decent chance of getting the murderer to repent as well.
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    Dafyd wrote: »
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    Just a thought: my second choice would be Father Brown. He would pray for my soul (which needs it!).
    I was thinking Father Brown. He would stand a decent chance of getting the murderer to repent as well.

    Oh great, so I'd get to meet my murderer in heaven, do I? Can see it now: 'So sorry old chap' ... 'you b*st*rd!'
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    Dafyd wrote: »
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    Just a thought: my second choice would be Father Brown. He would pray for my soul (which needs it!).
    I was thinking Father Brown. He would stand a decent chance of getting the murderer to repent as well.

    Oh great, so I'd get to meet my murderer in heaven, do I? Can see it now: 'So sorry old chap' ... 'you b*st*rd!'

    Are you allowed to kick bastards who desperately deserve it in the nuts in heaven?

    Asking for a friend, obviously.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Sandemaniac wrote: »
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    Dafyd wrote: »
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    Just a thought: my second choice would be Father Brown. He would pray for my soul (which needs it!).
    I was thinking Father Brown. He would stand a decent chance of getting the murderer to repent as well.

    Oh great, so I'd get to meet my murderer in heaven, do I? Can see it now: 'So sorry old chap' ... 'you b*st*rd!'

    Are you allowed to kick bastards who desperately deserve it in the nuts in heaven?

    Asking for a friend, obviously.
    Zoë: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin'?

    Book: Quite specific. [cocking shotgun] It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
    --Firefly, "War Stories" (2002)


  • chrisstileschrisstiles Hell Host
    betjemaniac wrote: »
    Anyway, you’ve just been killed.

    Apropos of the topic title; istr at least one Brookmyre book starts this way.
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate
    Hedgehog wrote: »
    Zoë: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin'?

    Book: Quite specific. [cocking shotgun] It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
    --Firefly, "War Stories" (2002)


    Love that quote.

    Talking of the title - The Lovely Bones is pretty much this story. With help from the dead person (sorry about spoilers, but it is in page 1 and the book is pretty old now).
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    edited August 26
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    Dafyd wrote: »
    I was thinking Father Brown. He would stand a decent chance of getting the murderer to repent as well.
    Oh great, so I'd get to meet my murderer in heaven, do I? Can see it now: 'So sorry old chap' ... 'you b*st*rd!'
    Well, after the murderer has felt properly guilty about it.
  • finelinefineline Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Montalbano, because that would mean I lived and died in Italy, which would be nice! I don't even care if he solves the mystery, because I'll be dead, so it won't matter - I just like the idea of living in Italy. But I think he might enjoy solving it and seeing the books about himself in my bookcase.
  • GwaiGwai Epiphanies Host
    Team Sherlock Holmes here as I've been reading those stories to the boys. He'll be mysterious about it for a while, but he'll reliably solve it, particularly when the police are blundering idiots.
  • quetzalcoatlquetzalcoatl Shipmate
    Bruno Cremer, French Maigret, so much charm, so much intuition.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    quetzalcoatl wrote: »
    Bruno Cremer, French Maigret, so much charm, so much intuition.
    Tangent: I bought the DVD box set of all of Cremer's Maigret episodes. He is absolutely wonderful in the role.
  • quetzalcoatlquetzalcoatl Shipmate
    Hedgehog wrote: »
    quetzalcoatl wrote: »
    Bruno Cremer, French Maigret, so much charm, so much intuition.
    Tangent: I bought the DVD box set of all of Cremer's Maigret episodes. He is absolutely wonderful in the role.

    We watch them the second time round, and can never remember who done it. They're on Talking Pictures.
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