Heaven: 2021 Proof Americans and Brits speak a different language

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  • TrudyTrudy Heaven Host
    edited March 2021
    @Sojourner, my favourite line regarding washcloths and sponge baths, probably repeated by many people in many contexts, was from my aunt when she was a student nurse, quoting the instruction she claimed to have been given on how to give sponge baths to a bed-ridden patient. The official instruction was "starting at the face, wash down as far as possible; starting at the feet, wash up as far as possible ... but eventually you'll have to wash Possible."

    In my family, cleaning one's own or a sick person's private parts is still sometimes referred to as "washing Possible."
  • I’m another who never uses washcloths or dishcloths.

  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    I could always tell the children in swimming lessons who had had their faces always washed with flannels. They wouldn't put their faces in the water. I would send them home with homework - putting their face over the basin and rinsing it with their hands. Turning over in the bath and splashing their faces.
    My grandmother, reputedly, according to my mother, used the "down as far as possible" etc rule - she would have been using a wash stand with a bowl and jug. And a matching soap dish and gazunder.
  • Depending on what bits you wash with your flannel, etc, do you want it on your face?

    It's important to wash them in a certain order.
  • orfeoorfeo Suspended
    I use a "face" washer all over in the shower, but it probably doesn't actually get used on my face much at all (and if it did that would be the starting point anyway).

    I mean, my face is happily getting the most rinsing direct from the showerhead. Plus it can also get washed when I'm standing at the sink at other times if necessary.

    Plus, you know, not that interested in putting soap in my eyes.
  • Trudy wrote: »
    @Sojourner, my favourite line regarding washcloths and sponge baths, probably repeated by many people in many contexts, was from my aunt when she was a student nurse, quoting the instruction she claimed to have been given on how to give sponge baths to a bed-ridden patient. The official instruction was "starting at the face, wash down as far as possible; starting at the feet, wash up as far as possible ... but eventually you'll have to wash Possible."

    In my family, cleaning one's own or a sick person's private parts is still sometimes referred to as "washing Possible."

    Better than unmentionable😂

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Although I would call the implement in question a facecloth (or sometimes a flannel), the one part of my anatomy it doesn't wash is my face; that gets rinsed many times under the shower-head and occasionally treated to a lather of a proprietary liquid called "face-wash" that's supposed to do wonders for your complexion.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Sojourner wrote: »
    Don’t care

    Mind you in my days as a junior nurse when doing a “ sponge bath” one started with face then hands then genitalia then feet....

    A dear old lady one said to me “just me face and me bum, love, in no particular order”😂I still smile at the memory...

    Like it!
  • We've just received a letter (a friendly one!) from a female lawyer in New York who followed her signature with 'Esq', which I had always thought of as a strictly male designation. After getting over my initial astonishment I asked Auntie Google what she knew about it, and sure enough, it is accepted American usage in the legal profession. Seemed weird to me, but there you are. I wonder how it began?
  • MMMMMM Shipmate
    When I was training (London) in the 70s, we were told we were entitled to use Esq., though I don’t think any of us (women) did. However, in the shops in Chancery Lane, we were called ‘Sir’ quite regularly. We thought it was amusing.

    MMM
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    We've just received a letter (a friendly one!) from a female lawyer in New York who followed her signature with 'Esq', which I had always thought of as a strictly male designation. After getting over my initial astonishment I asked Auntie Google what she knew about it, and sure enough, it is accepted American usage in the legal profession.
    There’s “accepted” and there’s “common,” and as with so many things, it varies depending on where in the US you are. In some states it’s commonly used, while in others it’s not. Use of “esquire” by both male and female attorneys is accepted in my state, but it’s also rare for either to use it. In 30+ years, I could count on one hand the lawyers I’ve encountered who use it.

  • In the UK, there is no inference that someone with the suffix "Esq." is a lawyer. Which can make for some interesting exchanges of letters with Americans.
  • According to a Canadian lawyer friend I contacted after making the original post, 'esq' is never used in Canada by lawyers. It seems to be only US legal usage. I am still curious to know how this originated, as I had always understood that it designated otherwise untitled gentlemen.
  • orfeoorfeo Suspended
    Lawyers are among the groups that are very good at holding onto tradition just because it's tradition, not because they understand the original context.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Its use had all but completely stopped here when I commenced practice 55 years ago - just a very few crusty old practitioners and their even crustier secretaries.
  • Ethne AlbaEthne Alba Shipmate
    My uncle ( uk ) would sometimes add Esq, just because he could !
  • GarethMoonGarethMoon Suspended
    edited May 2021
    Mog demanded that civil servants address all non-titled British males in correspondence as Esq https://theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jul/29/jacob-rees-mogg-language-rules

    Of course Buck House famously sends letters to males addressed "Mr XYZ" if they are not British and "XYZ, Esq" if they are British and non titled.
  • I thought the use of esquire was by tradition restricted to men who are armigerous.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Does having been a CUO count for anything?
  • orfeoorfeo Suspended
    Speak English, please. Several recent posts have been bordering on something else.
  • Fawkes CatFawkes Cat Shipmate
    edited May 2021
    Gee D wrote: »
    Does having been a CUO count for anything?

    Wikipedia* tells us
    King Cuo of Zhongshan (reigned 327–309 BC) was the fifth ruler of the state of Zhongshan during the Warring States period in ancient China. He reigned for 15 years. In 323 BC, he styled himself "king" along with the rulers of Han, Wei, Yan and Zhao, becoming the first ruler of Zhongshan to do so.

    So I think @Gee D could style themselves 'your majesty' (assuming that the Warring States period used a similar style to modern monarchies). Which is better than 'Esq.'

    Of course, we may also be suitably impressed with @Gee D 's age - well over two millennia, and still posting to SoF!

    * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Cuo_of_Zhongshan
  • Cadet Under Officer - a student Officer rank in the Australian Army Cadets. Some of my peers at high school also achieved that exalted station.
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    What’s a CUO?
  • No idea about a CUO, but my understanding matched @TheOrganist's that in the UK, Esquire was applied to men who are armigerous (link to Collins) - come from a family with a coat of arms.
  • .Apparently
    Gee D wrote: »
    Does having been a CUO count for anything?

    Copper Oxide?

    Chief Underwriting Officer?
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    edited May 2021
    . . . come from a family with a coat of arms.
    Heraldic pedantry alert: families do not have coats of arms, businesses based on selling family coats of arms notwithstanding.

    Arms belong to individuals. They can be inherited, and various members of a family might have arms based on the arms of the senior member of the family, but with identifying differences. But there really isn’t such a thing as family coats of arms.

    And full disclosure: Yes, my family has had the hand-painted, framed “family coats of arms” somewhere in the house as long as I can remember, as do my wife and I now. As my mother-in-law says (about using the “wrong” dish or piece of flatware), “It’s alright as long as you know better.” :smile:

    /pedantry

  • john holdingjohn holding Host Emeritus
    A bit wider than armigerous, I think. Graduates of Oxford and Cambridge (and Trinity College, Dublin, I suppose), and commissioned officers in the armed forces, at least by courtesy, can be addressed as Esq. Clergy of the church of England could be (under the 19th century assumption that they are Oxbridge products and male), though I suspect that there's a custom somewhere that says that like clergy Knights they don't use the title.
  • No idea about a CUO, but my understanding matched @TheOrganist's that in the UK, Esquire was applied to men who are armigerous (link to Collins) - come from a family with a coat of arms.

    Given that anyone with a degree or a professional job can apply for arms, that's not much of a bar, and by courtesy, one assumes that male correspondents have the minimal necessary distinction.
  • GarethMoonGarethMoon Suspended
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    . . . come from a family with a coat of arms.
    Heraldic pedantry alert: families do not have coats of arms, businesses based on selling family coats of arms notwithstanding.

    Arms belong to individuals. They can be inherited, and various members of a family might have arms based on the arms of the senior member of the family, but with identifying differences. But there really isn’t such a thing as family coats of arms.

    And full disclosure: Yes, my family has had the hand-painted, framed “family coats of arms” somewhere in the house as long as I can remember, as do my wife and I now. As my mother-in-law says (about using the “wrong” dish or piece of flatware), “It’s alright as long as you know better.” :smile:

    /pedantry

    Only true in Scotland.

    In England, all legitimate male line descendants of the original armiger inherit the arms equally as long as they still have the surname.

    For any person to have a right to a coat of arms they must either have had it granted to them or be descended in the legitimate male line from a person to whom arms were granted or confirmed in the past.

    There used to be a system of labels showing which son you are, but it gets very complicated very quickly so it's only really used in the Royal Family now, and their arms have rules of their own.



  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    Thanks for the correction to my pedantry, @GarethMoon. I thought the rule in England was that the right to bear a coat of arms wasn’t automatic as a matter descent, but rather that if descent can be proven, the College of Arms can confirm the right to bear the ancestor’s arms, but it’s certainly possible that I’ve misunderstood that, and I’m happy to have that misunderstanding cleared up.

  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    edited May 2021
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    What’s a CUO?

    As Barnabas Aus says, Cadet Under Officer - Army cadets at school.
  • Fawkes CatFawkes Cat Shipmate
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    Thanks for the correction to my pedantry, @GarethMoon. I thought the rule in England was that the right to bear a coat of arms wasn’t automatic as a matter descent, but rather that if descent can be proven, the College of Arms can confirm the right to bear the ancestor’s arms, but it’s certainly possible that I’ve misunderstood that, and I’m happy to have that misunderstanding cleared up.

    I'm not sure that this is an either/or position. If I slightly reword @Nick Tamen 's statement thus:

    in England (...) the right to bear a coat of arms (is) automatic as a matter descent (:...) if descent can be proven, the College of Arms can confirm the right to bear the ancestor’s arms

    We can see that there's not necessarily a contradiction between the two statements such that only one can be true. If my formulation is right (and the rules for inheriting arms are yet another entry on the long list of things that I know nothing about but still feel free to comment on) then the College only need become involved if there's doubt over someone's right to bear particular arms.
  • GarethMoonGarethMoon Suspended
    edited May 2021
    Fawkes Cat wrote: »
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    Thanks for the correction to my pedantry, @GarethMoon. I thought the rule in England was that the right to bear a coat of arms wasn’t automatic as a matter descent, but rather that if descent can be proven, the College of Arms can confirm the right to bear the ancestor’s arms, but it’s certainly possible that I’ve misunderstood that, and I’m happy to have that misunderstanding cleared up.

    I'm not sure that this is an either/or position. If I slightly reword @Nick Tamen 's statement thus:

    in England (...) the right to bear a coat of arms (is) automatic as a matter descent (:...) if descent can be proven, the College of Arms can confirm the right to bear the ancestor’s arms

    We can see that there's not necessarily a contradiction between the two statements such that only one can be true. If my formulation is right (and the rules for inheriting arms are yet another entry on the long list of things that I know nothing about but still feel free to comment on) then the College only need become involved if there's doubt over someone's right to bear particular arms.

    Both could be true from the statements we both made. However they are not both true in actual fact.

    "Armorial bearings are hereditary. They can be borne and used by all the descendants in the legitimate male line of the person to whom they were originally granted or confirmed. "
    https://college-of-arms.gov.uk/services/proving-a-right-to-arms

    It's a common misunderstanding; going from assuming every name has "family coat of arms", to believing that just 1 individual has the arms, back to believing in "family arms" for a line rather than a surname.

    And then you realise that someone just made it all up a long, long time ago and some king said "mmm I can make some money here by forcing people to register them!"
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    Gee D wrote: »
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    What’s a CUO?

    As Barnabas Aus says, Cadet Under Officer - Army cadets at school.
    Thanks, and my apologies. I wonder if @Barnabas_Aus and I cross-posted, as I didn’t see his post until reading your post just now.

    And thanks, @Fawkes Cat and @GarethMoon. Just so I’m clear, the case in England is that arms can be borne by any legitimate male descendant, resulting in what could be called “family line” arms, as opposed to generic family or surname arms?

    GarethMoon wrote: »
    And then you realise that someone just made it all up a long, long time ago and some king said "mmm I can make some money here by forcing people to register them!"
    :lol:

  • Yes, having been bombarded by "surname arms" by various spam accounts they don't have any relationship to the actual arms that apply to the line I'm descended from. I'm female, no right to bear arms, ever, but I do know what the arms of my paternal grandfather's family look like.
  • What if the Americans have got it all wrong, and the Second Amendment giving them the right to bear arms never had anything to do with guns? Maybe it just allowed them to wear T shirts with fancy patterns.
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    edited May 2021
    I like it!! :lol:
  • What if the Americans have got it all wrong, and the Second Amendment giving them the right to bear arms never had anything to do with guns? Maybe it just allowed them to wear T shirts with fancy patterns.

    Yes, if only!
  • And my wife just pointed out that the right to bare arms could be used against the anti-vaxxers...
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    What if the Americans have got it all wrong, and the Second Amendment giving them the right to bear arms never had anything to do with guns? Maybe it just allowed them to wear T shirts with fancy patterns.

    Every now and then, there's a re-emergence of the silly argument that the right to bear arms was a reference to a coat of arms.
  • I am sure I am not alone in thanking you for this very serious, important information.
  • orfeoorfeo Suspended
    There's also the argument that it was intended to be a right to arm bears...
  • Left arms?
  • Only if you're right-handed.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Wasn’t it just a typographical error, and it’s actually a right to wear sleeveless or short-sleeved garments?
  • SparrowSparrow Shipmate
    BroJames wrote: »
    Wasn’t it just a typographical error, and it’s actually a right to wear sleeveless or short-sleeved garments?

    Well in the West Wing they did find a typo in the Bill of Rights!

  • Is the full name William of Rights?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited May 2021
    I'm finding the discussion on the use of "Esq" interesting; my late father (who was a local council chief official - director of education) quite often received letters addressed to A. Piglet, Esq.* but AFAIK there was no entitlement to a family coat of arms.

    * not his real name ;)
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    Yes, having been bombarded by "surname arms" by various spam accounts they don't have any relationship to the actual arms that apply to the line I'm descended from. I'm female, no right to bear arms, ever, but I do know what the arms of my paternal grandfather's family look like.

    Are you sure? To me it seems like while as a female you could not pass the arms to your offspring, would it be possible to bear a lozenge with the pattern but no crest if your dad had inherited the arms?
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