Ship Quotes File (New Drawer)

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Comments

  • I can't think of anything to add to that...
    I once gave Ma and Pa Reckondwyth "The Joy of Sex." My father's comment was, "That's all well and good if you don't have to get up for work the next morning."

    Another reason to look forward to retirement!
  • Piglet wrote: »
    Where do you store memories?

    In the heart, of course.

    What happens to them when the heart gets broken? :heartbreak:

    Your friends gather round you and hold you.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    :heart: :heartbreak: :heart:
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    This thread has taken an unexpected and poignant turn and I seem to have something in my eye.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Here - have a paper hankie. :)
  • From @Sighthound on Boris's Ethics Advisor
    Guiding Johnson on ethics is a task that makes cleaning the Augean stables look like sweeping out a rabbit hutch.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    :mrgreen:
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    Probably best to redact what @KarlLB described as
    the most moronic idea since Maximus Cretinus equipped the Third Legion with armour made of cheese to save money on steel and help out his brother's dairy business in Tuscany at the same time.
  • TukaiTukai Shipmate


    Gramps49 wrote from the USA: »
    "Are the rats abandoning the Trump ship?"

    To which Martin54 responded from the UK:
    "Unlike here where the sinking ship abandoned the rat."
  • The latter comment actually came from Labour's Sir Keir Starmer...and was received by many with approbation and hilarity.
    :wink:
  • From @KarlLB on the Who's the Daddy thread in Purgatory

    The name "Anglican Mainstream" is a bit like the "People's Democratic" bit in the official names of places like North Korea.
  • @mousethief in the “Is God a Person” thread:

    One of the OED definitions of "person" (II.4.c), dating to 1824, is "The human genitals; spec. the penis." It flags this as "Law" meaning I suppose it's a usage in legal documents/proceedings. So God is most definitely not a person in this sense, although some of his followers can be real dicks!

  • I think this deserves a place here:
    No-one can put Father F**kwit right...O...I see what you mean...
    :neutral:

    Do you suspect that even Jesus turned the matter over to his mother to deal with?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    It's a while since anything was filed here, but this wee gem from @KarlLB in AS is worthy of preservation:
    KarlLB wrote: »
    My handy cut out and keep guide to reading music for non music readers:

    Notes go up - pitch goes up
    Notes go down - pitch goes down
    Bits added to notes - notes go faster
    Bits taken away from notes - notes go slower.
    Naughts and crosses square or funny b next to note - note sounds a bit more interesting.

    :mrgreen:
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    As a result I often still think of Tennyson when approaching intersections.
    Courtesy of @Trudy
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Karl hits the nail on the head on the subject of Ann Widdecombe:
    KarlLB wrote: »
    When that bleeding haemorrhoid in the anal passage of humanity announced she was swimming the Tiber because the CofE wasn't sufficiently accommodating of her religious misogyny, my response was threefold.

    1. Good. Fuck off then.
    2. Do be a stranger
    3. Sorry to my RC friends for what they were getting.

    Appalling woman.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Hugal accurately sums up the former Prime Minister in Hell:
    Don’t encourage Boris to give anyone sausage. He may get the wrong idea
  • I think this belongs here..
    Sojourner wrote: »
    I’ve resuscitated more than a few ( pregnant) brides in my time. Most had insisted on the full virgin bit ( white frock and veil), were heavily corseted and had not eaten for a few days in a vain attempt to disguise their interesting condition.

    Let it all hang out, says I
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    I think this belongs here..
    Sojourner wrote: »
    I’ve resuscitated more than a few ( pregnant) brides in my time. Most had insisted on the full virgin bit ( white frock and veil), were heavily corseted and had not eaten for a few days in a vain attempt to disguise their interesting condition.

    Let it all hang out, says I

    As long as you don't say it to an intoxicated groom.
  • bump
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    edited September 2023
    For much the same reason I can criticise Mein Kampf despite never having read it - I have a pretty good idea of the contents from the reporting of others and I know the utter knob jockey(s) responsible and the dangerous crap they say in other contexts.
  • We should all pay close attention to RR's last few lines...
    RockyRoger wrote: »
    Update on previous posting: EE has now spoken with his boss. Boss opines what I am doing with the EBOH is very old fashioned and nobody does it that way anymore and bit of the App I had problems with had been updated to make it compatable with new ways networking ... or something. He suggests I change how I do things and sign up with a modern Internet company at £19.99 per month.

    Sigh... to the nether regions all of them. I can see it now: St Peter at the Pearly Gates, "They don't seem to be opening for you old son, your old Church of England Salvation App needs an update" ....
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    On the Christmas Songs we Hate thread in Hell, Spike pointed out that The First Nowell could have been written by McGonagall, and Enoch responded with the following gem:
    The shepherds were out in the wind and snow.
    When all of a sudden there was a great glow.
    An angels appeared and said to them
    That they must go at once to Bethlehem.

    They went as fast as they were able
    And found a wee bairn in a stable
    With Mary, Joseph and an ox and ass
    For a wondrous thing had come to pass.

    Then three wise men did appear,
    Bringing gold, frankincense and myrhh.
    But despite the legends, there was no boy with a drum.
    You wouldn't want that when a child had just come.

    For God mankind’s salvation has wrought.
    And all this happened in the year nought.
    But Herod all the wee babbies slew
    Which is not what our own dear Queen would do.
  • That is magnificently McGonagallesque!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Isn't it just? <notworthy>
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Wise words from NEQ on the Welcome thread in AS:
    There are two types of Scots - those lucky enough to have been born here, and those intelligent enough to have moved here. :wink:
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    From the proposed LOTR: The Musical …
    Ariel wrote: »
    Gollum's now-famous song:

    "All I want is a ring somewhere
    Far away from the Elvish air...
    Lots of coals making lots of heat
    Lots of fisssssh for me to eat
    O wouldn't it be loverly!"
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    @Cameron has the measure of Scottish weather in AS:
    Cameron wrote: »
    ... 15C (which is Scottish for 21C, and perfect) …

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited December 2024
    Croesus perfectly describes Elon Musk in Hell:
    He has an accent, a vast fortune, and his own rocket base. He's just one Persian cat and a Nehru jacket away from being a Bond villain ...
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    Leaf wrote: »
    Dudes talking with other dudes about a dead gender-essentialist dude. Okay.

    I haven't developed precise metrics for a Ship of Fools Discussion Thread Bechdel Test, but I'm not sure precise metrics are needed at this point.
  • I loved this snippet from a longer post by Graven Image:
    I ate a piece of cake today by accident...

    You would never find a defence lawyer to take on that case.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Now come on, Graven Image - you're not seriously telling us you didn't mean to eat a piece of CAKE ... :mrgreen:
  • You’re welcome to accidentally leave unlabeled cake in my freezer any time!
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    There I was, just minding my own diet, when this piece of cake jumped into my mouth!
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    From @KarlLB, in response to this:
    Piglet wrote: »
    A choir I used to sing in used to sing the Hallelujah Chorus as the Gospel Acclamation on Easter Sunday; we had a soprano who was so far up the candle she utterly refused to rehearse it because Lent, and would sit on her hands, looking grumpy, when we had a quick run through it at the last rehearsal before Easter.
    If it was because she was that far up the candle I can only imagine said candle was a good way up her...


  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    :mrgreen:
  • An image that won't go away, so it might as well be archived here...
    I don't think I even have a chequebook now, with online banking, debit cards etc., generally so safe and convenient. As with all such things, of course, all is well until it isn't...

    ... but I have a second account, with a different bank, which also has a debit card. Belt, Braces, and String, IYSWIM!

    None of which are sufficient in our case...

    I'm thinking I'll just tattoo my ass navy blue and be done with it.
  • I am SO glad you included the context!
  • I am SO glad you included the context!

    So am I!
    :wink:
  • Sure you were! :lol:
  • HarryCHHarryCH Shipmate
    I think LC's comment "I am SO glad you included the context!" belong in a quotes file.
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