Today I Consign To Hell -the All Saints version

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  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    I really appreciate a good pun, or even a bad one. When they were courting Mum thought Dad was a brilliant punster, then, after they were married, she discovered a Mickey Mouse Annual from either the 1930s or 40s and discovered most of "his" jokes in there. She claimed to be sadly disillusioned.

    I suggested that if Dad ever lost his job he could get one writing jokes for Christmas crackers - my Nephew repeated this at Dad's funeral, but, like his Grandad, failed to acknowledge the source.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Huia--

    {singing} "Tra-di-tion!"
    ;)
  • Wildfires may they all return to hell from which they come. Three in our area burning at the moment. Zero containment. No immediate danger just draining on the nerves.
  • Whatever is decimating my swede tops can go to the fiery pits....
  • Robert ArminRobert Armin Shipmate, Glory
    A friend has annoyed me. He's putting together a virtual Arts Festival, and wanted people to record poems for it, on a different theme for the next three months. I liked the idea, and reckoned I could do that, so I spent time this afternoon recording three different pieces for them. It was fun, but I was knackered by the end.

    Since then he's been in touch. He liked the poems, and my reading, but wanted me to film them again. Apparently the camera angle makes me look like Cyril Fletcher. I explained I hadn't got the energy for that; he apologised and will find images to go with my readings. So I can read, but I'm too ugly to appear on camera. Wonderful.
  • Oh gosh! I have been on the receiving end of something like that myself.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    That's ridiculous. If I were one of the target audience I would rather see a real person I could make a connection with that pretty pictures.
  • What's wrong with Cyril Fletcher anyway?
    Or maybe your friend is afraid that his viewers will be disappointed if you do not deliver Odd Odes
  • Ah - maybe the *friend* thought they were Odd...

    But yes - Cyril Fletcher was a pleasant looking chap with an impish smile - what's not to like?
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyril_Fletcher
    :confused:
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Masks - we hateses them with a passion Hobbitses.

    Yes, I know I need to wear them on crowded buses and in places where appropriate distancing isn't possible (and I am doing so, even though they are not mandatory until Monday) but there is only so much room behind my ears and it's already full with glasses and hearing aids. I am terrified I will take a mask off and lose or break a hearing aid. If I take the hearing aids off everyone will mumble and I will have to ask them to repeat things - then they look at me as if I am as thick as two short planks (which I may very well be but usually I manage to hide it).

    I will have to get some those extender things so I can fasten them around the back of my head.

    OK, so this is only day 2, and I will probably get more used to them, but yesterday and today have made me wonder if I should just hole up at home and become a hermit.😭

    Another option is to ride my bike more and avoid buses.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    We hates them too, but we wants as soon as posssssibleses not to be wearing them sssso we has to wear them, we does, all the quicker to not have to wear the nasssty nasssty thingses, sssss, yeseses.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    @Huia I have the overcrowded ear problem too.

    Cut two rectangles of fabric big enough to cover mid nose to under chin, and round your face - I found 8 x 12 inches about right. Cut a piece of elastic to fit round the back of your head. Cut a second piece about an inch shorter.

    Sew the two rectangles together and turn right side out. Make 4 pleats in each side, tucking an end of elastic in the top and bottom ones (longer piece at the top). Sew everything down.

    And there you are: comfortable to wear (once you sort the elastic lengths) but a little bit baggy to make breathing easier (I find).
  • @Huia hermit living has much in its favour. It is my route for now.

    .

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited August 2020
    The first mask I had was the top of the head/back of the neck sort, and I found (possibly because I hadn't placed the elastics correctly) that it pushed down rather painfully on my nose.

    As I don't have other ear furniture - at least not when I'm out - I only use specs for reading - I'm OK with the behind-the-ear ones.
  • Huia wrote: »
    Another option is to ride my bike more and avoid buses.
    I'd have thought it was always a good plan to avoid buses when riding a bike.

  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    Ha! My Old Mum failed to do that one day, whilst cycling along the narrow High Street of the Town Of My Yoof.

    O look (says she to herself) there's Mrs X going into Boots...glancing away from Mrs X just a moment too late, My Old Mum - in her late 80s at the time! - cycled straight into the back of a bus standing at the stop outside Boots.

    The bus was not injured. My Old Mum was a bit bruised (and extremely embarrassed, as all the passers-by rushed to her aid). The bike was also only slightly battered...
    @Huia - we hates maskses too, Precious, O yess we does...they steams up our Specses, so we can't see to eat our nice Fissh and Chipses...
    gollum...gollum...
  • @Huia masks are driving me nuts to. I am coping as best I can with minimising when I need them and keeping 2m distance when I absolutely can't cope plus excessive washing of hands.
  • HelixHelix Shipmate
    It's the moments where you are out and about, mask-wearing, already warm and there is a visitation of the spirit of the hot flush. Surely, that would wipe out any virus, meaning it would be ok to go without a mask ???
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    TICTH the toerags who stole my brother and sister-in-law's electric bikes from inside the "secure" garage at their block of flats.

    He'd only bought his a few weeks ago. :rage:
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Piglet I was considering an e-bike, but a friend had hers stolen from inside her house!

    Masks are not yet compulsory in Christchurch, today I used mine in the bus, then took it off as I was going to a bank where I'm not known. From Monday some kind of facial covering will be mandatory in buses and other public transport. I could get away with wearing a scarf but that wouldn't protect other people as well, so I am not willing to do that.

    I have four different types of mask, so am going to experiment, but think I have definitely ruled out the cheap throw away medical ones, both from an environmental and a comfort viewpoint.

    Also I've decided to put it on when I am actually at the bus stop (within the rules) because wearing a mask and running for a bus are incompatible. :dizzy:

    Thanks for the useful advice and commiserations. I still hate the idea, but if that what it takes, I will do it. It's scary to think of causing someone else's death, or even of causing a cluster of cases.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    TICTH new software implementation that skips steps and winds up worse than the original. A healthcare place of my acquaintance switched from a patient portal and records that worked beautifully (IMHO) to a new system. A doctor's name was taken off my old record, and not properly added to my new one. Plus patient info/records weren't transferred over to the new portal. Etc., etc., etc.

    Grrrrr. :(
  • Things that change on internet sites! there should be a special site for oldies who want to keep the same system and are not interested in fancy graphics etc.
    Not a hope, though!
  • I agree.

    Bl**dy BT have just changed their e-mail page AGAIN - to no obvious effect, as it's just as ghastly as before...
    :rage:
  • Huia wrote: »
    Masks - we hateses them with a passion Hobbitses.

    Yes, I know I need to wear them on crowded buses and in places where appropriate distancing isn't possible (and I am doing so, even though they are not mandatory until Monday) but there is only so much room behind my ears and it's already full with glasses and hearing aids. I am terrified I will take a mask off and lose or break a hearing aid. If I take the hearing aids off everyone will mumble and I will have to ask them to repeat things - then they look at me as if I am as thick as two short planks (which I may very well be but usually I manage to hide it).

    I was having the problem too, Huia, getting in a tangle as I went to the lectern in church and in the supermarket. Went for my annual hearing aid check last week, and the audiologist said the secret is to get your fingers under the bands behind and at the top of your ears and lift forward over the ears thus preventing the tangle with your aids. Since I've started doing that, I've only got in a tangle with an aid flapping out of my ear once.
  • I guess this may depend on the rules where you peeps live, but, if wearing a mask is going to make it hard for you to cope with your hearing aids, is a mask still mandatory, or would you be exempt?

    I do appreciate the possibility of your having abuse thrown at you by the fearful and/or ignorant, even if in your case wearing a mask is NOT mandatory.

    We still hates them, yess, we does, Preciouss...
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    In the US, you can get hassled for not wearing a mask, and for wearing one. (Not at the same time! ;) )
  • Same everywhere, I guess.
    :disappointed:
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Barnabas Thanks - I'll try it.

    BF, I could just use a face covering, but I read that the kind of neck gaiter I was wearing spread the virus more efficiently (apparently if you sneeze the droplets came out smaller and travel further - this may be wrong, but it looked like a reliable website).

    I know this may sound weird, especially after my rave, but I do want to wear a mask, if only in solidarity with bus drivers and supermarket workers who don't have the option I have as a retired person to stay home and avoid crowds.

    I actually have 3 different types of masks :blush: and another one that I ordered before I found the cloth one that is my current favourite. If I can get another one I will give away the ones that don't suit me.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited August 2020
    TICTH the PayPal practice of quasi-automatic currency conversion - because the option to choose your card provider's own currency conversion system is only given in very small print.

    Of course I know this, but it's cost me a few quid recently when I simply forgot to tick the card conversion option! You must know that PayPal's exchange rate, purportedly offered to make your transaction hassle-free and easier, is always (considerably) more unfavourable than my card provider's! - Greedy bastids!
  • There's an alarm of some sort going off in one of the neighbouring flats. It woke me up about 2am. I'm not sure I've been back to sleep since.

    When I came out to go to work, I listened, and I think it's coming from the flat upstairs. Which is a student flat, and I'm not sure if anyone is in there at present. Grrrr. I just hope the bloody thing has stopped by the time I get home.
  • And the letting agents don't tend to hurry to come and check such things, even when one calls them. (As I know from experience at our last house.)
  • It's a private landlord, and since it's a HMO (House for Multiple Occupation) which requires a licence from the local council to be renewed every few years, it's not in his interests to really piss off the neighbours.

    However, thanks be to God, whatever it was that was sounding is no longer. It's absolutely pissing with rain, but that's not exactly uncommon hereabouts...
  • Tried to meet a friend for outdoors coffee at a farmers market yesterday. Both wearing hats and masks. Eventually I phoned him to find he was standing a few yards away. Bought a coffee. Forgot I was wearing a mask... I know masks are a Good Thing, but I'll be glad when this is over.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    Oh gosh! I have been on the receiving end of something like that myself.
    I was once told that I had a “great face for radio.” I guess that’s better than being that once a great voice for print.


  • Seriously??? You're one of the most beautiful people I know! Sheesh.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    And you are one of the kindest of my acquaintance.
  • That may be debatable, but your physical appearance is not. I'm going with the assumption that the idiot had just made a pass at you and been brought to a suitable understanding of his lowly position in the universe. Nothing else makes sense here.
  • Myself. I saw a "hack" on Facebook to get a super-clean kitchen sink., sparkling right down to the U-bend.

    My kitchen sink is indeed now very clean right down to the U-bend, but, alas, the said U-bend is no longer watertight.....

    I 'fessed up immediately that I had caused the problem by "vigorous cleaning" and the North East family are being sympathetic. However, I know that their sympathy would turn to incredulity if they realised exactly what my "vigorous cleaning" entailed...
  • Now you have to tell us what you did... Most hacks on FB seem to involve vinegar, but that wouldn't have caused a leak...
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Myself. I saw a "hack" on Facebook to get a super-clean kitchen sink., sparkling right down to the U-bend.

    My kitchen sink is indeed now very clean right down to the U-bend, but, alas, the said U-bend is no longer watertight.....

    I 'fessed up immediately that I had caused the problem by "vigorous cleaning" and the North East family are being sympathetic. However, I know that their sympathy would turn to incredulity if they realised exactly what my "vigorous cleaning" entailed...

    Sulphuric acid? Small quantity of explosive?
  • ...screwdriver...
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Perhaps this is what they meant. A few of these and you won’t be worrying about your U-bend - two parts orange juice to one part vodka.
  • If only....
  • Duct tape and sealant have reduced the leak to a drip. However, the sink is now out of commission until we get a plumber in.

    The under-sink bin is catching the drips. We are using a plastic carrier bag hung on the door handle as a replacement bin.

    It's not the ambience promised by the hack....
  • Is it a plastic U-bend https://tinyurl.com/y65l8224 ? Can you screw the joints up a bit tighter? (Do it by hand though, squeezing too hard with a wrench etc is not a good idea as things will creack and your latter state will be worse wetter than the former).
  • Very true. Clearly, you know whereof you speak (as do I)...
  • I seem to have wrecked a rubber seal. Although my sink is clean down to the U-bend, the leak is at the top, rather than the bottom of the U-bend bit.

    Two plumbers have now phoned me back to say they are fully booked this week.

    But on the plus side, the family still think that "vigorous cleaning" means that I was giving it laldy with the eco-scrubber, and haven't twigged that a screwdriver was involved....
  • The plumber has been!
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Ah, is it the thing where you lever up the plug hole cover to discover hidden reservoirs of grunge? My feeling is, who am I to disrupt a functioning bacterial ecosystem? (Plus there's enough visible squalor to be going on with).
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited September 2020
    The plumber has been!

    That was quick!

    Has the Problem been duly sorted?

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