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Limerick

There once was a shipmate called Miffy,
Signed to NaPoWriMo in a jiffy.
Write a poem a day,
In a nonchalant way,
This is fair set to drive me all squiffy.

Over to you…anything you want (within the bounds of the Ship commandments, of course)

[nb Hosts: not intended as a ‘homework’ thread; I’m just letting off steam here]
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Comments

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Harumph!

    There was a old lady called Miffy
    Of cookies she wasn’t too sniffy
    Choc Mars Bars were melting
    And iced biscuits helping
    To finesse her diet plan; it’s swishy. *

    * well, you try finding a rhyme that makes sense.
  • There was once a black cat called Frisky
    Who fell into a barrel of whisky
    He shook and he sneezed
    He licked and he wheezed
    And departed decidedly squiffy
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Hic! 😁
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    There once was a shipmate called Raptor
    Wrote limericks though didn’t hav’ta
    ‘Bout a black cat named Frisky
    Who drank too much whisky*
    Much merriment managed to capture

    *really am scraping the bottom of the barrel here
  • Ha ha it works for me @Miffy
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Doesn’t have to be ‘bout a shipmate
    Just a poem to read and relate
    to whatever you want
    whether metre or font
    We don’t wish you to get in a state
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    In a state I think we all are
    Be it a state that is near or is far.
    At least we pay taxes
    and sometimes send faxes
    if the council's mind's doors are ajar.

    (Ok, that was laboured. But perhaps so is the Council.)
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    There once was a fellow called Hyde
    Who fell down a privy and died.
    Along came his brother
    And fell down another,
    So now they're interred side by side.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    That one's so old it ought to be drawing its pension, Gee D! :mrgreen:

  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    I am moved to respond:

    There was a young lady from madras
    Who had the most beautiful ass,
    No not what you think,
    Round, dimpled and pink !
    It was grey, had long ears and ate grass.
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    There was a young man from Dundee
    Got stung in the arm by a wasp
    When they asked “did it hurt.”
    He said “yes it did
    But I’m glad it wasn’t a hornet”
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    There once was a man from the Cam
    Who went in for his final exam.
    When he asked "Have I passed?"
    They said "No, you were last".
    So he turned on his heels and said "Gentlemen, you surprise me".

    I think that's even older than the fellow called Hyde and the young lady from Madras.

  • DavidDavid Shipmate
    I’ve just thought up one that's so old it dates back to the dawn of human history.

    There was a young woman called Eve,
    Whose creation you wouldn’t believe:
    I tell you no fib,
    She was made from a rib,
    According to the tale we receive.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited March 2022
    Nice.

    Here's one I've quite enjoyed, and which must be from the 1970s (or earlier):

    There was a young man at the zoo
    Who wanted to catch the 2.02.
    When he came to the gate
    They said 'You must wait.
    It's a minute or two to 2.02.'
    :D
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Another golden oldie:

    There was a young lady from Ryde
    Who ate a green apple and died.
    The apple fermented inside the lamented
    And made cider inside her inside.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    A propos my last one, something new updated to suit the new name,

    A husband there was from Chennai,
    Who was utterly unable to lie.
    When asked does my tum,
    look too large, or my bum,
    He'd look high aloft with a sigh.

  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    There was a young man from Peru
    Whose limericks stopped at line two.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Nenya wrote: »
    There was a young man from Peru
    Whose limericks stopped at line two.
    His muse was despairing
    But he wasn’t caring…



  • …So didn’t cry woe and boo hoo
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited March 2022
    There was an Old Man from Dunoon,
    Who always ate soup with a fork.
    For he said *Since I eat
    Neither fish, fowl, nor flesh,
    I should otherwise finish too quick.*

    (I think he may have been related to @Spike's young man from Dundee...)
  • There was a Young Girl in the choir,
    Whose voice just got higher and higher,
    Till one Sunday night,
    It flew quite out of sight,
    And they found it next day on the spire.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited March 2022
    Sorry to triple-post, but I've just remembered this one:

    There was a Young Lady of Tottenham,
    Had no manners, or else she'd forgottenham.
    At tea at the vicar's,
    She tore off her knickers,
    Because (as she said) she felt hottenham.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    There once a would be writer
    Who didn't really get rhymes
    His scansion was also
    Nowhere to be seen
    So he didn't write anything you could really call a limerick at all.

  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    edited March 2022
    Piglet wrote: »
    That one's so old it ought to be drawing its pension, Gee D! :mrgreen:

    Yes, but it's still good.


    There was an Old Man from Dunoon,
    Who always ate soup with a fork.
    For he said *Since I eat
    Neither fish, fowl, nor flesh,
    I should otherwise finish too quick.*

    (I think he may have been related to @Spike's young man from Dundee...)

    Not a proper limerick though, without the rhyming pattern
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    KarlLB wrote: »
    There once a would be writer
    Who didn't really get rhymes
    His scansion was also
    Nowhere to be seen
    So he didn't write anything you could really call a limerick at all.

    🤣

  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Gee D wrote: »
    There was an Old Man from Dunoon,
    Who always ate soup with a fork.
    For he said *Since I eat
    Neither fish, fowl, nor flesh,
    I should otherwise finish too quick.*

    (I think he may have been related to @Spike's young man from Dundee...)


    Not a proper limerick though, without the rhyming pattern
    Yes, it is because the correct form that underlies it would be,
    "There was an Old Man from Dunoon,
    Who always ate soup with a spoon.
    For he said 'Since I eat
    Neither fish, fowl, nor meat,
    I should otherwise finish too soon' ".
    However, in that form, the Limerick does work but the story doesn't. It's playing on that because you can still hear those rhymes in your head.

  • Thank you @Enoch. I didn't realise I'd have to explain...
    :wink:
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    There was a young fellow from Kent
    Whose

    Do Ship rules allow this to be completed?
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Gentlemen…please!
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    edited March 2022
    There was a young man from Saigon

    (A relative of the young man from Peru we had earlier)
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Dafyd wrote: »
    There was a young man from Saigon

    Who liked to dress up in chiffon.
  • However, a Gale...
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited March 2022
    ...turned the poor chap quite pale,
    When he found that he had nothing on...

    Sorry - The Muse is working overtime!
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    (Always good to go with it when the Muse strikes. :smile: )

    There was a young person from Greece
  • TheOrganistTheOrganist Shipmate
    edited March 2022
    Who owned a fine flock of white geese
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    But sadly, one day
    They all flew away
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited March 2022
    Has anyone told the Police?

    (alt. ending:
    Which for him was a happy release...)
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    A man who was down in his luck
  • (he'd been hit by a forty-ton truck)
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Hmmm….I can see where this is going…😳
  • Said the driver, whilst crowing...
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Miffy wrote: »
    Hmmm….I can see where this is going…😳

    Umm…that was an aside, not part of the limerick!😁

  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    (Too late now, @Miffy! :lol: )

    He's got to be out for a duck.

    What other rhymes could possibly have occurred to anyone?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited March 2022
    There was an aside that went wild ...
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    Leaving poets unreconciled
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    She feared they would start…
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    a smelly loud fart

    (Sorry, in a fairly childish mood.)
  • But good humour remained, so she smiled.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    There once was a fellow called Lear
    Who wrote Limericks; that much is clear
    But they weren't all that fine
    And would repeat the first line
    That Limerick writing fellow called Lear

  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    There once was a lady most odd
    Who wanted a baby by God
    But it wasn't the Almighty
    Who got up her nightie
    But the verger, the randy old sod.
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