Excuse my ignorance, but does the RC Church have a non-eucharistic funeral liturgy that could be used if the family of the deceased is not especially religious (or RC)?
Yes it does. Basically do the first bit (hymn, prayer, readings, prayer), skip the Eucharistic stuff (optional communion from reserved sacrament if requested) and then committal (prayers, incense). But they are still 100% religious. So there's no avoiding that.
It's my brother's funeral tomorrow.
I am doing a Bible reading, his beautiful 16 year old son is by choice, if he can manage it reading a poem- someone else is on standby just in case.
Three friends are doing the eulogy, friends are also carrying his coffin into the church.
There will be hymns.
The funeral is at the church his widow attends- he stopped attending church regularly years ago.
If I have the strength I will report back afterwards.
Excuse my ignorance, but does the RC Church have a non-eucharistic funeral liturgy that could be used if the family of the deceased is not especially religious (or RC)?
Yes it does. Basically do the first bit (hymn, prayer, readings, prayer), skip the Eucharistic stuff (optional communion from reserved sacrament if requested) and then committal (prayers, incense). But they are still 100% religious. So there's no avoiding that.
Thanks @Alan29 - granted, no escape from the religious bit, but at least (with some care and guidance) it sounds more user-friendly IYSWIM.
The contemporary C of E funeral liturgy can be minimalised quite effectively, which is just as well, given the limited time available at most crematoria. A funeral service in church, followed by committal or burial, is obviously going to be less rushed...
@MrsBeaky - hope it goes OK (you know what I mean). It sounds well-organised, and a report back would be welcome, if you feel you can.
🙏
Speaking generally, it seems a good idea to have a back-up person to read a eulogy, or to have someone (the minister, perhaps) to read it on behalf of the family.
I think I've mentioned a crematorium funeral where the distraught sister of the deceased more-or-less hijacked the service, leaving the officiant and I very little time to do the religious bits - which, I should add, the family (and especially the widower, then only recently confirmed!) really did want.
The widower and I had a chuckle about it all, some weeks later, and we agreed that his late wife would have appreciated the unintended humour of the rather chaotic proceedings...
Speaking generally, it seems a good idea to have a back-up person to read a eulogy, or to have someone (the minister, perhaps) to read it on behalf of the family.
I agreed to read a Bible passage at the memorial service for a very dear friend, the first really big personal loss of that kind I had suffered, so I didn't realize how I was going to feel during the service. I almost lost it early on. I bit down hard and made it through, but I'd have been better off just knowing someone else was ready to step in if that had been the case.
The services at the crematoria always sound dire when they're described here - rushed and dreary. I've never been to a funeral or memorial service expecting to spend less than an hour. And they're never at the actual crematoria.
It's my brother's funeral tomorrow.
I am doing a Bible reading, his beautiful 16 year old son is by choice, if he can manage it reading a poem- someone else is on standby just in case.
Three friends are doing the eulogy, friends are also carrying his coffin into the church.
There will be hymns.
The funeral is at the church his widow attends- he stopped attending church regularly years ago.
If I have the strength I will report back afterwards.
Speaking generally, it seems a good idea to have a back-up person to read a eulogy, or to have someone (the minister, perhaps) to read it on behalf of the family.
I agreed to read a Bible passage at the memorial service for a very dear friend, the first really big personal loss of that kind I had suffered, so I didn't realize how I was going to feel during the service. I almost lost it early on. I bit down hard and made it through, but I'd have been better off just knowing someone else was ready to step in if that had been the case.
The services at the crematoria always sound dire when they're described here - rushed and dreary. I've never been to a funeral or memorial service expecting to spend less than an hour. And they're never at the actual crematoria.
Yes, when I was regularly conducting funerals, if a member of the family or friendship group wanted to give the eulogy I always asked them to write down what they would say (this stopped them rambling, though I never told them that) and asked for a copy just in case they couldn’t do it. In fact I only once had to take over and say “What X would like to tell you is….” Picking up from where X had left off. But more than one person told me it helped them not to break down knowing there was a back up.
Also prayers for the Beaky family, who must get tired of being brave.
Yes, when I was regularly conducting funerals, if a member of the family or friendship group wanted to give the eulogy I always asked them to write down what they would say (this stopped them rambling, though I never told them that) and asked for a copy just in case they couldn’t do it. In fact I only once had to take over and say “What X would like to tell you is….” Picking up from where X had left off. But more than one person told me it helped them not to break down knowing there was a back up.
Much the same with me. Also, as our funerals often include a short talk or address by the Minister, knowing what they were going to say helps me in my own preparation.
I have quite often attended funerals in a crematorium where the service was taken by an ordained member of the clergy but, at the request of the relatives ,without any real religious input.
The 'problem' about a funeral in an RC church is that the church is there specifically for the religious input. It has no other purpose but to try to show the love of God to the mourner and to pray for the happy repose of the soul of the deceased.
Depending on the wishes of the deceased and not forgetting their close relatives it doesn't really matter whether those who come along sing or join in the prayers or not, though I would fervently hope that those conducting the funeral service do so with dignity and sincerity.
Though at the moment it is not too common in the UK ,many RC funerals in France are now conducted by lay members of the local community and of course without a eucharist being celebrated. The deceased will be remembered and prayed for at the next Sunday Mass.
Speaking generally, it seems a good idea to have a back-up person to read a eulogy, or to have someone (the minister, perhaps) to read it on behalf of the family.
I agreed to read a Bible passage at the memorial service for a very dear friend, the first really big personal loss of that kind I had suffered, so I didn't realize how I was going to feel during the service. I almost lost it early on. I bit down hard and made it through, but I'd have been better off just knowing someone else was ready to step in if that had been the case.
The services at the crematoria always sound dire when they're described here - rushed and dreary. I've never been to a funeral or memorial service expecting to spend less than an hour. And they're never at the actual crematoria.
Yes, when I was regularly conducting funerals, if a member of the family or friendship group wanted to give the eulogy I always asked them to write down what they would say (this stopped them rambling, though I never told them that) and asked for a copy just in case they couldn’t do it. In fact I only once had to take over and say “What X would like to tell you is….” Picking up from where X had left off. But more than one person told me it helped them not to break down knowing there was a back up.
Yes - for various reasons I was able to read at the funeral of my father (with my husband as a backup) and one of my brothers. At my mother's and my other brother's I knew I wouldn't be able to and my son did them. I'm sorry to say I never thought of asking him whether he would like a backup in case he couldn't do it, but he did an amazing job.
Also prayers for the Beaky family, who must get tired of being brave.
Thank you all for your kindness.
I have just consumed the most delicious fish curry from a new restaurant just round the corner and will go to bed shortly but thought I'd let you know how it went.
First off, the priest was absolutely fantastic and managed to link both secular and spiritual stuff contributed into something quite precious and lovely in his excellent and pastoral sermon.
It was deeply moving to see my brother's friends carrying his coffin. The organist played Handel's Largo as the coffin was carried in.
We had the normal Sentences, prayers and blessings.
The three friends who did the eulogy told funny stories but one of them went on a very long time....
The hymns were chosen by my sister in law and nephew and had personal associations for them and my brother so please don't shoot me when I tell you we sang:
I vow to thee my country
Lord of the dance
Dear Lord and Father of mankind
Guide me oh thou great redeemer
I was asked to choose my Bible reading and did Romans 8 35-39 in the Jerusalem Bible which is my favourite translation of that passage.
My nephew chose and read Christina Rosseti's Let me go.
The rugby player, Brian Moore who was a good friend of my brother read a rugby poem by Mark Grgory called Green and Hallowed ground.
We left with the coffin to the organ playing Amazing Grace.
I was fine in the church but at the Crematorium for the committal we sang Crimmond Psalm 23 which I know lots of you hate but it reduced me to tears for very personal reasons.
There were over 200 people at the funeral, he was only 62 and his restaurant has been a central hub of his community for over 30 years so perhaps unsurprising
I cannot go into details but it was a bittersweet day. My brother was an impossible but deeply loved person!
Thank you for checking in and for the report @MrsBeaky . It sounds like a very special occasion indeed and well done to everyone involved. I hope you sleep well tonight.
Thank you all for your kindness.
I have just consumed the most delicious fish curry from a new restaurant just round the corner and will go to bed shortly but thought I'd let you know how it went.
First off, the priest was absolutely fantastic and managed to link both secular and spiritual stuff contributed into something quite precious and lovely in his excellent and pastoral sermon.
It was deeply moving to see my brother's friends carrying his coffin. The organist played Handel's Largo as the coffin was carried in.
We had the normal Sentences, prayers and blessings.
The three friends who did the eulogy told funny stories but one of them went on a very long time....
The hymns were chosen by my sister in law and nephew and had personal associations for them and my brother so please don't shoot me when I tell you we sang:
I vow to thee my country
Lord of the dance
Dear Lord and Father of mankind
Guide me oh thou great redeemer
I was asked to choose my Bible reading and did Romans 8 35-39 in the Jerusalem Bible which is my favourite translation of that passage.
My nephew chose and read Christina Rosseti's Let me go.
The rugby player, Brian Moore who was a good friend of my brother read a rugby poem by Mark Grgory called Green and Hallowed ground.
We left with the coffin to the organ playing Amazing Grace.
I was fine in the church but at the Crematorium for the committal we sang Crimmond Psalm 23 which I know lots of you hate but it reduced me to tears for very personal reasons.
There were over 200 people at the funeral, he was only 62 and his restaurant has been a central hub of his community for over 30 years so perhaps unsurprising
I cannot go into details but it was a bittersweet day. My brother was an impossible but deeply loved person!
Thank you all for your kindness.
I have just consumed the most delicious fish curry from a new restaurant just round the corner and will go to bed shortly but thought I'd let you know how it went.
First off, the priest was absolutely fantastic and managed to link both secular and spiritual stuff contributed into something quite precious and lovely in his excellent and pastoral sermon.
It was deeply moving to see my brother's friends carrying his coffin. The organist played Handel's Largo as the coffin was carried in.
We had the normal Sentences, prayers and blessings.
The three friends who did the eulogy told funny stories but one of them went on a very long time....
The hymns were chosen by my sister in law and nephew and had personal associations for them and my brother so please don't shoot me when I tell you we sang:
I vow to thee my country
Lord of the dance
Dear Lord and Father of mankind
Guide me oh thou great redeemer
I was asked to choose my Bible reading and did Romans 8 35-39 in the Jerusalem Bible which is my favourite translation of that passage.
My nephew chose and read Christina Rosseti's Let me go.
The rugby player, Brian Moore who was a good friend of my brother read a rugby poem by Mark Grgory called Green and Hallowed ground.
We left with the coffin to the organ playing Amazing Grace.
I was fine in the church but at the Crematorium for the committal we sang Crimmond Psalm 23 which I know lots of you hate but it reduced me to tears for very personal reasons.
There were over 200 people at the funeral, he was only 62 and his restaurant has been a central hub of his community for over 30 years so perhaps unsurprising
I cannot go into details but it was a bittersweet day. My brother was an impossible but deeply loved person!
Comments
Yes it does. Basically do the first bit (hymn, prayer, readings, prayer), skip the Eucharistic stuff (optional communion from reserved sacrament if requested) and then committal (prayers, incense). But they are still 100% religious. So there's no avoiding that.
Thoughts with the son.
Thanks @Alan29 - granted, no escape from the religious bit, but at least (with some care and guidance) it sounds more user-friendly IYSWIM.
The contemporary C of E funeral liturgy can be minimalised quite effectively, which is just as well, given the limited time available at most crematoria. A funeral service in church, followed by committal or burial, is obviously going to be less rushed...
@MrsBeaky - hope it goes OK (you know what I mean). It sounds well-organised, and a report back would be welcome, if you feel you can.
🙏
I think I've mentioned a crematorium funeral where the distraught sister of the deceased more-or-less hijacked the service, leaving the officiant and I very little time to do the religious bits - which, I should add, the family (and especially the widower, then only recently confirmed!) really did want.
The widower and I had a chuckle about it all, some weeks later, and we agreed that his late wife would have appreciated the unintended humour of the rather chaotic proceedings...
You and the family are in my prayers. I hope all goes well tomorrow. 🙏
The services at the crematoria always sound dire when they're described here - rushed and dreary. I've never been to a funeral or memorial service expecting to spend less than an hour. And they're never at the actual crematoria.
Hugs for you and your family, @MrsBeaky.
Hugs, love, and prayers. 🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯
Yes, when I was regularly conducting funerals, if a member of the family or friendship group wanted to give the eulogy I always asked them to write down what they would say (this stopped them rambling, though I never told them that) and asked for a copy just in case they couldn’t do it. In fact I only once had to take over and say “What X would like to tell you is….” Picking up from where X had left off. But more than one person told me it helped them not to break down knowing there was a back up.
Also prayers for the Beaky family, who must get tired of being brave.
The 'problem' about a funeral in an RC church is that the church is there specifically for the religious input. It has no other purpose but to try to show the love of God to the mourner and to pray for the happy repose of the soul of the deceased.
Depending on the wishes of the deceased and not forgetting their close relatives it doesn't really matter whether those who come along sing or join in the prayers or not, though I would fervently hope that those conducting the funeral service do so with dignity and sincerity.
Though at the moment it is not too common in the UK ,many RC funerals in France are now conducted by lay members of the local community and of course without a eucharist being celebrated. The deceased will be remembered and prayed for at the next Sunday Mass.
Yes - for various reasons I was able to read at the funeral of my father (with my husband as a backup) and one of my brothers. At my mother's and my other brother's I knew I wouldn't be able to and my son did them. I'm sorry to say I never thought of asking him whether he would like a backup in case he couldn't do it, but he did an amazing job.
Yes indeed.
I have just consumed the most delicious fish curry from a new restaurant just round the corner and will go to bed shortly but thought I'd let you know how it went.
First off, the priest was absolutely fantastic and managed to link both secular and spiritual stuff contributed into something quite precious and lovely in his excellent and pastoral sermon.
It was deeply moving to see my brother's friends carrying his coffin. The organist played Handel's Largo as the coffin was carried in.
We had the normal Sentences, prayers and blessings.
The three friends who did the eulogy told funny stories but one of them went on a very long time....
The hymns were chosen by my sister in law and nephew and had personal associations for them and my brother so please don't shoot me when I tell you we sang:
I vow to thee my country
Lord of the dance
Dear Lord and Father of mankind
Guide me oh thou great redeemer
I was asked to choose my Bible reading and did Romans 8 35-39 in the Jerusalem Bible which is my favourite translation of that passage.
My nephew chose and read Christina Rosseti's Let me go.
The rugby player, Brian Moore who was a good friend of my brother read a rugby poem by Mark Grgory called Green and Hallowed ground.
We left with the coffin to the organ playing Amazing Grace.
I was fine in the church but at the Crematorium for the committal we sang Crimmond Psalm 23 which I know lots of you hate but it reduced me to tears for very personal reasons.
There were over 200 people at the funeral, he was only 62 and his restaurant has been a central hub of his community for over 30 years so perhaps unsurprising
I cannot go into details but it was a bittersweet day. My brother was an impossible but deeply loved person!
🙏
Impossible but deeply loved. So much beauty in four words.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯