Something about Gene Hackman's Death.
I had thought about putting this in the Aging Parents thread, but I decided it would change the thrust of that thread where caring people really struggle with the needs of their loved ones.
Here is the deal about the death of Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa. While Betsey was thirty years younger than Gene, she was by no means a well person. Her cause of death was Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrom in which can lead to death in four to ten days if left untreated. Betsey really should have been in the hospital as sick as she was.
When she died, it left Gene alone for up to a week before he passed. Given his advanced stage of Alzheimer's likely did not even realize Betsey had died. On top of that, they had a dog that was crated that died too because there was no one to care for it after Betsy died.
The question rises, was there any contact with Gene's children? He had three children by his first marriage, but their relationship with their dad was complex. Apparently, there was little contact.
It seems to me, given the advanced age of their father, maybe there should have been more contact. Then too, given the issues of losing the sole provider, there should have been some follow up in place just in case the provider suddenly becomes incapacitated.
We really cannot do anything about Gene or his wife, Betsy, now, but maybe we can learn from this tragedy. If you are caring for a loved one, please make sure someone is checking in on you. You never know how fast things can change. Here is an article about that.
I know when my father became ill, I would call once a week to see how he and mom were doing. My brother lived nearby so I know he would check in on them daily. As he became more incapacitated, I would drive eight hours one way once a month to see them. Unfortunately, I did not make it down before he died.
I continued the weekly calls with Mom but as she got frailer, I would call her daily. And I continued the monthly visits. I was not able to get down to see her when she died because of a severe snowstorm.
Now that I am in my mid-seventies, I am still in good health, but I know there will be a time when Mrs. Gramps and I will need more care. It is a very good thing we have good relationship with our kids. And we do have some contingency plans in place regarding assisted living when it comes to that.
If you still have parents, look out for them. If you are the parent, work with you loved ones to develop a plan of action for what will inevitably come.
(I watched one of the later Gene Hackman films last night--that is what got me to thinking about his death today.)
Here is the deal about the death of Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa. While Betsey was thirty years younger than Gene, she was by no means a well person. Her cause of death was Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrom in which can lead to death in four to ten days if left untreated. Betsey really should have been in the hospital as sick as she was.
When she died, it left Gene alone for up to a week before he passed. Given his advanced stage of Alzheimer's likely did not even realize Betsey had died. On top of that, they had a dog that was crated that died too because there was no one to care for it after Betsy died.
The question rises, was there any contact with Gene's children? He had three children by his first marriage, but their relationship with their dad was complex. Apparently, there was little contact.
It seems to me, given the advanced age of their father, maybe there should have been more contact. Then too, given the issues of losing the sole provider, there should have been some follow up in place just in case the provider suddenly becomes incapacitated.
We really cannot do anything about Gene or his wife, Betsy, now, but maybe we can learn from this tragedy. If you are caring for a loved one, please make sure someone is checking in on you. You never know how fast things can change. Here is an article about that.
I know when my father became ill, I would call once a week to see how he and mom were doing. My brother lived nearby so I know he would check in on them daily. As he became more incapacitated, I would drive eight hours one way once a month to see them. Unfortunately, I did not make it down before he died.
I continued the weekly calls with Mom but as she got frailer, I would call her daily. And I continued the monthly visits. I was not able to get down to see her when she died because of a severe snowstorm.
Now that I am in my mid-seventies, I am still in good health, but I know there will be a time when Mrs. Gramps and I will need more care. It is a very good thing we have good relationship with our kids. And we do have some contingency plans in place regarding assisted living when it comes to that.
If you still have parents, look out for them. If you are the parent, work with you loved ones to develop a plan of action for what will inevitably come.
(I watched one of the later Gene Hackman films last night--that is what got me to thinking about his death today.)
Comments
Which movie?
And yet they appear to have had no domestic help, no cleaner, no laundry service, no carer to assist with personal care.
They were millionaires. They could easily have afforded a cleaner. It seems to me that they must have chosen not to have domestic help. Perhaps they didn't want his adult children to be too involved with his life, either?
Who knows?
I wouldn't be too quick to criticise his adult children.
This may not alter the analysis of the wider point, but the timeline of Hackman and Arakawa's deaths has been revised in light of new information.
So Arakawa recognized she had a health problem serious enough to merit medical attention but was unable to receive it in a timely manner. One wonders how differently things would have played out if she'd been able to keep the original appointment on February 12. The sticking point seems to have been not having someone to look after Hackman in her absence, which goes back to the original point about lack of outside contact or social support networks.
He does get to make the choice, just as I told my husband my mother got to make the choice of refusing to have me come out there when she was dying--basically she was gambling on whether she would still be alive or not when our originally scheduled visit took place. She was, but barely, and was pretty much past communication at that point.
It did me a great favor, though, as up until he heard her refuse with her own voice, my husband had believed it was I who was refusing to do a proper daughter's job of caring for her mother while leaving this world. He could not imagine a mother rejecting her daughter that way. I, unfortunately, could, and for good, longstanding reasons.
Aw 🥰