I've just suggested to someone elsewhere on the intertubes who suggested I did something that I'm running out of places to hide the bodies and I'd rather eviscerate myself with a spork.
I have found myself in the unenviable position of chairing our parent council (I didn't volunteer; the chair resigned and as vice-chair I couldn't escape) and... I won't go into the background but my anxiety is through the roof and I suck at being in charge of things. I am, by temperament and habit, the advisor, facilitator, technician, and otherwise supporter and enabler of other people (whom I trust) being in charge.
No, thank you is my standard reply. It sounds a bit weird and I walk away as they are trying to put my answer with their question. "Can we call upon you to do XYZ. " No, thank you.
Suitably qualified people can try, as I did some years ago, "I'd like to, but, you know, chemo brain and all. Better not just now". It worked perfectly.
Similar. I just say I don’t volunteer for things as I get stressed which triggers my bipolar disorder. That usually disarms people but a particular bossy friend once replied ‘sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do’. I just said ‘well, I don’t’ and left it as that.
The last art/photography exhibition at our local Arts Centre (dear to my heart, as it is my old Methodist Church) was excellent.
I'm very keen for there to be another soon - but I don't want to organise it, although I'm more than happy to contribute. My u3a photography group are also keen to contribute.
I've been under pressure from several people to organise it - including the artists who did it last time. But I've said no.
I explained, each time, that before I retired I was a deputy head teacher and very used to organising. But since I retired I've become a keen contributor and have promised myself I won't be in charge again.
Of course they don't like it because they feel as passionately as I do about the project and need people to head up each section. (Theatre, poetry, literature, music and visual arts - alongside all the marketing, promotion and fundraising to buy the building.)
It won't be me.
I work hard for them (us!) at marketing and leaflet production, etc. but my leadership roles both in church and at work are in the past. I'm glad to say. 🙂
I tend to quite enjoy volunteering and organising things, but don't enjoy having to chair meetings and I've landed myself in a position where I'm going to have to chair some this year. I'll just have to invent a much tougher persona than I really have. It would also help if someone could improve my hearing by at least 50%. I can well imagine people taking advantage of my deafness to make sarky asides.
I've used my hearing issues to quite good effect in turning down requests to Do Things; when I was approached to be the Synod rep, I explained, quite truthfully, that I didn't trust my hearing* in a large hall with possibly dodgy acoustics.
* the spoken word is what seems to be worst affected with my hearing loss - I can still sing in tune and hear the right notes, but conversation can be a royal pain.
The deal of it is the need for a head is not about hierarchy so much as making collective work possible. Instead of imagining a boss, maybe it would be better to think of oneself as a coordinator, or a facilitator, even a first among equals.
To be sure, there is always the risk of burnout. Maybe a good way of preventing it would be to say "I need to take a sabbatical" at this point. Everyone needs a period of rest--three months? six months? a year?
What a sabbatical can look like:
A 6–12 month break from leadership roles
Remaining a participant or contributor, not a coordinator
A clear start and end date so expectations are healthy
A brief explanation: “I’m taking a sabbatical from leadership this year to recharge and focus on other commitments.”
Comments
Watch out - that might invite the response 'Here's the paperwork - I'll pray for you'
"Hold on to it until I let you know I've received the anointing."
I'm very keen for there to be another soon - but I don't want to organise it, although I'm more than happy to contribute. My u3a photography group are also keen to contribute.
I've been under pressure from several people to organise it - including the artists who did it last time. But I've said no.
I explained, each time, that before I retired I was a deputy head teacher and very used to organising. But since I retired I've become a keen contributor and have promised myself I won't be in charge again.
Of course they don't like it because they feel as passionately as I do about the project and need people to head up each section. (Theatre, poetry, literature, music and visual arts - alongside all the marketing, promotion and fundraising to buy the building.)
It won't be me.
I work hard for them (us!) at marketing and leaflet production, etc. but my leadership roles both in church and at work are in the past. I'm glad to say. 🙂
* the spoken word is what seems to be worst affected with my hearing loss - I can still sing in tune and hear the right notes, but conversation can be a royal pain.
To be sure, there is always the risk of burnout. Maybe a good way of preventing it would be to say "I need to take a sabbatical" at this point. Everyone needs a period of rest--three months? six months? a year?
What a sabbatical can look like:
A 6–12 month break from leadership roles
Remaining a participant or contributor, not a coordinator
A clear start and end date so expectations are healthy
A brief explanation: “I’m taking a sabbatical from leadership this year to recharge and focus on other commitments.”