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Eurovision 2026

Gill HGill H Shipmate
edited May 16 in Heaven
I wasn't going to do any commentary this year, partly due to *gestures wildly* all the various controversies... and partly because I just haven't found my mojo for it this year. But I've decided at the last minute to sharpen my snarky pen and share some observations on the madness that is to pervade our screens this evening.

So @Hugal and I are getting into the Austrian mood already. He's made some apfel strudel which is sitting in the fridge for later. I'll be cooking schnitzel with cabbage and parsley potatoes.

And most importantly, thanks to a local-ish delicatessen, we have Sachertorte GIN!

Anyone else want to join me in the Ship's virtual commentary box?
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Comments

  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    We will be watching! I must think about what cocktails to have.
    Sachertorte gin!
    (My favourite Austrian cake is Anna torte, a really amazing praline cake we had in Demel’s last year https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annatorte -apologies for the German wiki)
  • Gracious RebelGracious Rebel Shipmate
    I'm shortly going out to a Eurovision 'party' hosted by members of my Bible Study group at church. Should be a fun evening.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    We've got beer and snacks. Don't expect we'll do too well as our entry is absolutely dire. Then again, that's not always a problem given some of the winners over the years...
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    [tangent]

    I wonder why we’ve never asked Hannah Waddingham to compete.

    [/tangent]
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited May 16
    Think the male presenter has come straight from shooting a bongo video without changing first
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    The female presenter’s surname is Swarovski, and she appears to be a walking advert for their crystals.
  • mark_in_manchestermark_in_manchester Shipmate
    Mind if I join you? I rather like Sam Battle - mainly because when I started work a little over 30 years ago, some of the rather Dr Who instrumentation he poses with (that's a little unkind - he's a skilled guy) was still just-about in-use in the lab in which I worked.

    The gear was Danish, as is the current singer as I watch. I don't think Drs Bruel or Kjaer would have been entirely impressed...
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    Judging by the lack of clothing for the German entry, I presume it is hot on stage.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Heavenlyannie wrote: »
    Judging by the lack of clothing for the German entry, I presume it is hot on stage.

    Sole redeeming feature.
  • mark_in_manchestermark_in_manchester Shipmate
    OK, this is a challenge. Sorry, Greece.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    Mums appear to be the theme this evening.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Greece can feck off forever for that three minute fortaste of Hell
  • mark_in_manchestermark_in_manchester Shipmate
    edited May 16
    Queen had a good one... (oops - x-post - in response to @Heavenlyannie )
  • mark_in_manchestermark_in_manchester Shipmate
    Ukraine's singer goes high; like 'loving you, is easy cos you're beautiful...doobie doobie doo doo, WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH' :-)
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    KarlLB wrote: »
    Greece can feck off forever for that three minute fortaste of Hell

    There were worse entries which did not make it through the semis. How can anything be worse than this?
  • mark_in_manchestermark_in_manchester Shipmate
    Australia's hands mostly out of shot on the sparkly piano...now she's standing on it. OK.
  • TurquoiseTasticTurquoiseTastic Kerygmania Host
    Remind me again why Australia is in the.... oh never mind....
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    The Maltese bloke really looks like Orlando Bloom.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    I’ve been suggesting we enter some Bhangra for years! Go Bulgaria.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Croatia isn't so bad. Anything to escape the horrid disco beats.
  • mark_in_manchestermark_in_manchester Shipmate
    I don't mind the Croats. It reminds me of something.
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    Heavenlyannie wrote: »
    I’ve been suggesting we enter some Bhangra for years! Go Bulgaria.

    I can't agree with you, I have it down in the total crud category along with Denmark and Greece.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited May 16
    balaam wrote: »
    Heavenlyannie wrote: »
    I’ve been suggesting we enter some Bhangra for years! Go Bulgaria.

    I can't agree with you, I have it down in the total crud category along with Denmark and Greece.

    And now UK. Come on, you can't be this crap without trying to be, surely?

    It's the My Lovely Horse thing isn't it?
  • mark_in_manchestermark_in_manchester Shipmate
    Woah, disco goes into 6/8...
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    Like a less talented Thomas Dolby.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    At least the Moldova one is catchy!
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    I like how the Poland song started, not sre about the next section, but this is good for Eurovision. Good dancing on a slope too.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Heavenlyannie wrote: »
    At least the Moldova one is catchy!

    So is Herpes
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    I’m liking Poland.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    I haven't heard one I've actually liked on Eurovision since Månskin
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    Sweden started well, but has has descended into electro rubbish.

  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    balaam wrote: »
    Sweden started well, but has has descended into electro rubbish.

    Yup. As so often.

  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    EDM is always popular in this house, Sweden’s song actually sounds like something that might be in the charts.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited May 16
    Heavenlyannie wrote: »
    EDM is always popular in this house, Sweden’s song actually sounds like something that might be in the charts.

    Words cannot describe how much I loathe, detest, abhor and hate EDM.

    "Could be in the charts" is no recommendation in my book.

    And now he have Cyprus to another horrid dead electronic beat. I need another beer.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    Are the backing singers shouting trollop, trollop?
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    Fire on stage is getting boring.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    KarlLB wrote: »
    Heavenlyannie wrote: »
    EDM is always popular in this house, Sweden’s song actually sounds like something that might be in the charts.

    Words cannot describe how much I loathe, detest, abhor and hate EDM.

    "Could be in the charts" is no recommendation in my book.

    And now he have Cyprus to another horrid dead electronic beat. I need another beer.
    So much EDM here that my youngest son ended up doing a degree in music tech.
    Didn’t like Cyprus though.
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    Italy is trying to recreate a James Bond theme tune from the 70s,
  • Tree BeeTree Bee Shipmate
    We’ve been singing Get Lucky over Italy’s song. Really improves it.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Heavenlyannie wrote: »
    KarlLB wrote: »
    Heavenlyannie wrote: »
    EDM is always popular in this house, Sweden’s song actually sounds like something that might be in the charts.

    Words cannot describe how much I loathe, detest, abhor and hate EDM.

    "Could be in the charts" is no recommendation in my book.

    And now he have Cyprus to another horrid dead electronic beat. I need another beer.
    So much EDM here that my youngest son ended up doing a degree in music tech.
    Didn’t like Cyprus though.

    It's hard to describe how EDM comes over to me - it's like the audio equivalent of a picture that's all jagged and sharp and unpleasant in horrid garish colours. Or perhaps like looking at flickering strobe lights in penetrating shades that just make you want them to stop. It's quite a visceral reaction.
  • Merry VoleMerry Vole Shipmate
    The Italian entry tried some sharp dressing ... and then a bit of undressing?!
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    The Italian song included the descending string line from You Only Live Twice. Grahan Norton said Italy are doing something new, showing his usual lack of knowledge of music.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Norway's a bit better.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited May 16
    Norway has a touch of Billy Idol about it. I don’t like the backing singers though.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited May 16
    Romania has something of the Nightwish about it but she's no Floor Jansen.

    Nevertheless, strong entry
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Definitely not found my Mojo this year. Forgot it was on and only just logged on just now in time for Norway and Romania. How did the UK entry do? Who WAS the UK entry?
  • Tree BeeTree Bee Shipmate
    Miffy wrote: »
    Definitely not found my Mojo this year. Forgot it was on and only just logged on just now in time for Norway and Romania. How did the UK entry do? Who WAS the UK entry?

    Good question. I’ve forgotten already.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Just seen the recap. Underwhelmed.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Miffy wrote: »
    Definitely not found my Mojo this year. Forgot it was on and only just logged on just now in time for Norway and Romania. How did the UK entry do? Who WAS the UK entry?

    You don't want to know.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Lordi singing "Save all your kisses for me" has made the night for me.
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