Limerick

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  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    There once was a beagle called Snoopy
    Whose antics were really quite loopy
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    There once was a beagle called Snoopy
    Whose antics were really quite loopy
    He put into a rage
    A pop star backstage
    When he bit and then chased off a groupie

  • Henry the green engine too
    Liked neither rain nor wind that blew
  • Henry the green engine too
    Liked neither rain nor wind that blew
    And James was proud
    And Gordon was loud
    But Edward was useful and blue!

  • Ed the engine steamed off down the track
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Ed the engine steamed off down the track
    Having vowed that he wouldn't look back

  • Ed the engine steamed off down the track
    Having vowed that he wouldn't look back
    The Fat Controller
    In his smart black bowler
  • oops, just realised he wore a top hat. And non-PC to call him fat!
  • Ed the engine steamed off down the track
    Having vowed that he wouldn't look back
    The Fat Controller
    In his smart black bowler
    Found himself rather taken aback.

    ………………
  • AgsAgs Shipmate
    A shiny green engine named Percy
  • A shiny green engine named Percy
    Cried out loud "Lawks a mercy!"
    The cat's in the chook yard,
  • A shiny green engine named Percy
    Cried out loud "Lawks a mercy!"
    The cat's in the chook yard,
    But if Rev Awdry's off guard,
    I think I can safely cursey.


    "Ah", said Edward, "but I'm here,
    And I am the good one, so there",
  • "Ah", said Edward, "but I'm here,
    And I am the good one, so there.
    If I should make a report,
    You're for Cashmores of Newport,
    The place for engines who swear".

  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    A lady who walked like a duck
  • A lady who walked like a duck
    Thought that she was in luck.
  • A lady who walked like a duck
    Thought that she was in luck.
    She'd found a man who could think
    And one who could tink,
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    edited September 2022
    A lady who walked like a duck
    Thought that she was in luck.
    She'd found a man who could think
    And one who could tink.
    And one who could use a wood chuck.

    ______________
  • A mirror looking out from the wall
    Saw two people having a ball
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    A mirror looking out from the wall
    Saw two people having a ball
    The mirror said "oi!"
    To the girl and the boy
    "Why are you both not in school!?"

  • The girl and the boy were amused
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    The girl and the boy were amused
    And the mirror they verb'ly abused
    But the mirror not cool
    Marched them straight back to school
    Where the head's anger was not diffused.

  • A drowning man calling for help
    Gave thanks as he heard a dog yelp
  • A drowning man calling for help
    Gave thanks as he heard a dog yelp
    The Newfoundland dog
    Swam out with a log
    Towed him back with a rope made of kelp

  • Merry Vole wrote: »
    A drowning man calling for help
    Gave thanks as he heard a dog yelp
    The Newfoundland dog
    Swam out with a log
    Towed him back with a rope made of kelp


    Thanks - I had a last line ending in kelp, but not the 3rd and 4th
  • Gee D wrote: »
    Merry Vole wrote: »
    A drowning man calling for help
    Gave thanks as he heard a dog yelp
    The Newfoundland dog
    Swam out with a log
    Towed him back with a rope made of kelp


    Thanks - I had a last line ending in kelp, but not the 3rd and 4th

    🙂 My brother in law has one of these dogs and takes it for swimming lessons!
  • Kelpies are good swimmers and the short coat helps a lot.
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    A Kelpie who loved to go swimming
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    A Kelpie who loved to go swimming
    Swam a race, in which he was winning
  • A Kelpie who loved to go swimming
    Swam a race, in which he was winning
    But alas on the pitch
    He spotted a bitch
    And jumped out for a morsel of sinning.


    The punters weren't very pleased

  • The punters weren't very pleased
    In fact they were utterly cheesed
    When the favourite lost ground
    To the outsider, who found


  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    edited September 2022
    The punters weren't very pleased
    In fact they were utterly cheesed
    When the favourite lost ground
    To the outsider, who found
    His rival'd been nobbled and teased.

    It filled, though, the bookies with joy

  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    It filled, though, the bookies with joy -
    In fact, they'd arranged the decoy

  • Raptor EyeRaptor Eye Shipmate
    edited September 2022
    It filled, though, the bookies with joy -
    In fact, they'd arranged the decoy
    As a plan to have fun
    With a hundred to one

  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    It filled, though, the bookies with joy -
    In fact, they'd arranged the decoy
    As a plan to have fun
    With a hundred to one
    With the money, they each bought a toy

  • It was a jolly day for the boys
    Who were having fun with their toys
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    It was a jolly day for the boys
    Who were having fun with their toys
    Then Roy 1 and Roy 2
    Started playing with glue
    Now they're stuck to the floor - poor Roys

  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    While listen to Radio 2
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    While listen to Radio 2
    (yes, I really am that old. Are you?)
    Steve Wright has been banished
    And Wogan has vanished

  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    While listen to Radio 2
    (yes, I really am that old. Are you?)
    Steve Wright has been banished
    And Wogan has vanished
    No wonder I'm feeling quite blue.


    My usual's Radio 4

  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    My usual's Radio 4
    It's talks I prefer so much more
    It's Melvyn or news,
    despite biased views.
    I suppose that makes me a bore.

    The really cultured like 3

  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    The really cultured like 3
    Which certainly won't include me

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    The really cultured like 3
    Which certainly won't include me
    But of Gibbons or Tallis
    I'll say nothing callous
    Their music's the best that can be.
    If your preference is Classic FM
    You may get the odd little gem


  • If your preference is Classic FM
    You may get the odd little gem
    But the tune that you hear
    Becomes a worm in your ear
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    If your preference is Classic FM
    You may get the odd little gem
    But the tune that you hear
    Becomes a worm in your ear
    And you'll dream crotchets, quavers and stems

  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    If Radio 4 is your thing
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    If Radio 4 is your thing
    You're probably not into bling
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    If Radio 4 is your thing
    You're probably not into bling
    But current affairs
    And politics - who cares?
  • If Radio 4 is your thing
    You're probably not into bling
    But current affairs
    And politics - who cares?
    Here you won’t hear anyone sing.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Devotees of Radio 5
    Like their sports - and preferably live
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Devotees of Radio 5
    Like their sports - and preferably live.
    But if their team's result's bad
    They may just go mad
    And their devotion to Radio 5 dive.
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