A full list of things I'm bad at will be supplied on request .... according to Mrs RR, it includes 'hanging out the washing in a neat and tidy way so that it actually dries on the line'.
Not something everyone can do, but probably most people could do better than me after half an hour's practice:
I wish I could play cricket. But I can bowl two balls absolutely identically as far as I can tell and one goes full toss wide of leg and the other bounces twice as it goes wide of off.
My batting isn't much better - I miss most drives and sweeps and have to solely play forward defence or I'm out in two balls - first one the bowler realises I miss a lot; second one is aimed straight at the stumps.
I can't catch and can only throw a ball about a third of the distance from the boundary.
I'm equally shit at every other sport I've ever tried but that was the one I most wanted to be able to play.
Half a mind to post my sporting ability on the "things you're good at" thread as "I'm good at being so bad at sports that most people can't actually believe I'm not being this appalling on purpose".
Not something everyone can do, but probably most people could do better than me after half an hour's practice:
I wish I could play cricket. But I can bowl two balls absolutely identically as far as I can tell and one goes full toss wide of leg and the other bounces twice as it goes wide of off.
My batting isn't much better - I miss most drives and sweeps and have to solely play forward defence or I'm out in two balls - first one the bowler realises I miss a lot; second one is aimed straight at the stumps.
I can't catch and can only throw a ball about a third of the distance from the boundary.
I'm equally shit at every other sport I've ever tried but that was the one I most wanted to be able to play.
Half a mind to post my sporting ability on the "things you're good at" thread as "I'm good at being so bad at sports that most people can't actually believe I'm not being this appalling on purpose".
I really empathise with this. I'm also (being somewhat dyspraxic) not good a sport, but I love table tennis, though even at local club level I lost many more matches than I won. But, curiously, I am a very good coach with beginners and have a lot of patience with those trying to improve their game.
Understanding new words or concepts, especially academic ones, which isn’t helpful when you work in academia. I think it is a combination of my working class upbringing limiting my vocabulary and my bipolar disorder reducing my ability to process information. When I did my MEd I had a note on my desk which read ‘Academic language exists to disempower the working classes’.
Not something everyone can do, but probably most people could do better than me after half an hour's practice:
I wish I could play cricket. But I can bowl two balls absolutely identically as far as I can tell and one goes full toss wide of leg and the other bounces twice as it goes wide of off.
My batting isn't much better - I miss most drives and sweeps and have to solely play forward defence or I'm out in two balls - first one the bowler realises I miss a lot; second one is aimed straight at the stumps.
I can't catch and can only throw a ball about a third of the distance from the boundary.
I'm equally shit at every other sport I've ever tried but that was the one I most wanted to be able to play.
Half a mind to post my sporting ability on the "things you're good at" thread as "I'm good at being so bad at sports that most people can't actually believe I'm not being this appalling on purpose".
I really empathise with this. I'm also (being somewhat dyspraxic) not good a sport, but I love table tennis, though even at local club level I lost many more matches than I won. But, curiously, I am a very good coach with beginners and have a lot of patience with those trying to improve their game.
I got plenty of exercise playing table tennis. Chasing the ball around the room after missing it. I can't recall ever hitting a table tennis ball with a bat.
Understanding new words or concepts, especially academic ones, which isn’t helpful when you work in academia. I think it is a combination of my working class upbringing limiting my vocabulary and my bipolar disorder reducing my ability to process information. When I did my MEd I had a note on my desk which read ‘Academic language exists to disempower the working classes’.
Playing a musical instrument - I got as far as Chopsticks on the piano, and I can't get my head around chords on a guitar - maybe I'd be better at it if there was one note for one string, but then, I have a Saxon lyre where that is more or less the case, and I can't play that either.
I can manage a recognisable tune on the recorder, just about.
I wish I could play cricket. But I can bowl two balls absolutely identically as far as I can tell and one goes full toss wide of leg and the other bounces twice as it goes wide of off.
My batting isn't much better - I miss most drives and sweeps and have to solely play forward defence or I'm out in two balls - first one the bowler realises I miss a lot; second one is aimed straight at the stumps.
I can't catch and can only throw a ball about a third of the distance from the boundary.
Your enthusiasum is admirable.I don't like cricket. I love it.
I was mainly a bowler. Medium pace mainly but I could sometimes put extra effort in if I thought it worthwhile. Throughout my career, my main objective was not to be taken off.
As a batter I could stay in if needed, but if runs were needed, I had the reputation of hitting hard, high and seldom.
I lost my throwing ability as I got older.
Not something everyone can do, but probably most people could do better than me after half an hour's practice:
I wish I could play cricket. But I can bowl two balls absolutely identically as far as I can tell and one goes full toss wide of leg and the other bounces twice as it goes wide of off.
My batting isn't much better - I miss most drives and sweeps and have to solely play forward defence or I'm out in two balls - first one the bowler realises I miss a lot; second one is aimed straight at the stumps.
I can't catch and can only throw a ball about a third of the distance from the boundary.
I'm equally shit at every other sport I've ever tried but that was the one I most wanted to be able to play.
Half a mind to post my sporting ability on the "things you're good at" thread as "I'm good at being so bad at sports that most people can't actually believe I'm not being this appalling on purpose".
Same. I’d love to be in any way competent at cricket. Amongst my school’s old boys a match in which I took the winning wicket (having been selected as scorer, I kid you not) is infamous.
I think after 4 no balls the bowler couldn’t believe a complete daisy cutting in-swinger was any threat - it went under his bat and dislodged one bail before finally running out of what momentum it ever had and sitting against the base of the off stump.
I was carried aloft. And mortified.
In my case I off-set this by being good enough for the fourth XV at rugby. Which I enjoyed, but have never loved as I do cricket.
I am very bad at remembering names. Or perhaps it is associating names with faces. I see a face that I know I know, but cannot come up with the name for that face unless it is somebody that I see a LOT of.
I always think of an episode of Whad'yaknow with Michael Feldman (a talk/game show). Feldman was talking with a member of the audience. The man was an historian. Feldman asked him to introduce the rest of the people the historian came with. He could only do about half of them, and explained that he had a bad memory for names:
Feldman: But your an historian!
Historian: I can't remember names. I have a very good memory for dates.
Feldman: So you can tell me when somebody died, you just can't tell me who it was? 😆
Not something everyone can do, but probably most people could do better than me after half an hour's practice:
I wish I could play cricket. But I can bowl two balls absolutely identically as far as I can tell and one goes full toss wide of leg and the other bounces twice as it goes wide of off.
My batting isn't much better - I miss most drives and sweeps and have to solely play forward defence or I'm out in two balls - first one the bowler realises I miss a lot; second one is aimed straight at the stumps.
I can't catch and can only throw a ball about a third of the distance from the boundary.
I'm equally shit at every other sport I've ever tried but that was the one I most wanted to be able to play.
Half a mind to post my sporting ability on the "things you're good at" thread as "I'm good at being so bad at sports that most people can't actually believe I'm not being this appalling on purpose".
Same. I’d love to be in any way competent at cricket. Amongst my school’s old boys a match in which I took the winning wicket (having been selected as scorer, I kid you not) is infamous.
I think after 4 no balls the bowler couldn’t believe a complete daisy cutting in-swinger was any threat - it went under his bat and dislodged one bail before finally running out of what momentum it ever had and sitting against the base of the off stump.
I was carried aloft. And mortified.
In my case I off-set this by being good enough for the fourth XV at rugby. Which I enjoyed, but have never loved as I do cricket.
I was utterly shit at rugby too. And football. Tennis. Every sport I turned my hand to I was the absolute shittest at by a considerable margin.
I hate to admit it, but parking my car because I'm not very spatial. Also technology, just not intuitive at all to me!
Parallel parking is mostly beyond my skill level, unless there’s lots of space to work and lots of time. I’m not particularly good at other kinds of parking either come to think of it.
I’m mildly dyspraxic so not very good at most sports. Also not born with whatever gene it is that allows people to watch sports without eyes glazing over…
I mostly don’t see pictures, eg in a newspaper, I just see the text.
I can deliberately focus on the pictures if I think about it. A magazine is easier eg Country Living- I DO see the pictures as there are so many, and they are interesting or beautiful.
I can't draw either. I once went to a course that taught people to draw and was embarrassed because everyone could draw better than me. I only went once.
I can't draw either. I once went to a course that taught people to draw and was embarrassed because everyone could draw better than me. I only went once.
Same here, and unfortunately I remember when I was growing up it was something I wanted to be good at.
I am especially bad a learning a foreign language . At School I was so hopeless at French that I was not allowed to take a GCE exam in the subject. This was at a time when no matter how well you might do in A levels, you could not progress to University without an O level pass in a foreign language.
Drawing/sketching. Completely useless. Likewise pottery - the only person ever unable to make a basic thumb pot.
Tennis. I love to watch and come froma family of better-than-average players. Me? The children could beat me before they were seven.
Tennis - on my serve it was a series of double faults, or a pathetic drop into the right part of the opponent's court which was smashed straight back.
On the other guy's serve it was a series of aces.
I'm not exaggerating. If I actually hit the ball at all it was a miracle. If I hit it and it actually landed in, that was - well, it didn’t happen even once during some matches.
The teachers are all banging on about spin and placing the ball in a particular part of the opponent's court while I can't even contact the ball. They might as well try teaching calculus in a nursery.
Squash is the one that really amazes me. How do those guys know where the ball is? I'm damned if I can even see it when it's moving. I just see racquets moving and bangs as the ball hits things, but I never see the ball itself.
I’m bad at keeping eye contact. And I can be very direct.
The combination of these means that people don’t take me very seriously, talk over me or sometimes even shout me down. A lot of the time people ignore me or look through me. That’s ok because I don’t need much affirmation.
The upside is that few see me as a threat and sometimes people tell me things they don’t intend to.
Squash is the one that really amazes me. How do those guys know where the ball is? I'm damned if I can even see it when it's moving. I just see racquets moving and bangs as the ball hits things, but I never see the ball itself.
astonishingly, for someone who's in general pretty hopeless at sports* (and basically share your entire experience of tennis), I discovered in the sixth form that I can play squash - and have kept it up off and on since then. I don't suppose I've played for a decade now, but I still own a racquet.
I think things look very difficult when you're actually on the court (I'm completely bewildered watching it), and there's a really limited number of places you can move to (and limited number of shots), which frees more of my brain to concentrate on hand/eye co-ordination.
In a funny sort of way, for me therefore it works because it feels *slower* than other sports. My ASD/ADHD means I struggle to do too many things at once, but squash has always felt much more accessible/doable. When I discovered I could actually enjoy it, I adopted it enthusiastically. I'm still no more than the top end of incompetent, but it was an unexpected discovery.
*4th XV rugby as mentioned above being pretty much 'look for the pile of bodies and lend a hand'
Timing roast dinners. It's so complicated. I'd rather pay to take people to the pub and not stress about it! I'm amazed by people who cope without drama but I wish they wouldn't tell me how easy it is.
Timing roast dinners. It's so complicated. I'd rather pay to take people to the pub and not stress about it! I'm amazed by people who cope without drama but I wish they wouldn't tell me how easy it is.
My husband can - even a very fancy Christmas dinner for ten people.
Me, nope. I'm like you. I can cook individual things or one pot meals but for find roast dinners so stressful I never do it
Roast dinners are probably my best meal, for no more than 6 people. Cooking is not my forte. I cannot make pastry, nor anything that needs a complicated recipe.
<tangent>I stress about timing but somehow it usually works out. My mother has mastered this to the extent that some years ago she actually managed to get a roast perfectly done despite having found out after she’d put the roast in the oven that our train was going to late by an unknown amount of time which turned out to be four hours…. </tangent>
My general lack of coordination means that I never managed to learn to play the piano as well as I would have liked to. That and my teenaged self’s laziness about doing anything that actually required work. I like to think I would have practiced more if my coordination were better, but perhaps that is wishful thinking long after the fact.
Roast dinners are probably my best meal, for no more than 6 people. Cooking is not my forte. I cannot make pastry, nor anything that needs a complicated recipe.
Comments
Using the wrong word!
It’s elude isn’t it? (!)
And I'm awful at remembering people's names.
I wish I could play cricket. But I can bowl two balls absolutely identically as far as I can tell and one goes full toss wide of leg and the other bounces twice as it goes wide of off.
My batting isn't much better - I miss most drives and sweeps and have to solely play forward defence or I'm out in two balls - first one the bowler realises I miss a lot; second one is aimed straight at the stumps.
I can't catch and can only throw a ball about a third of the distance from the boundary.
I'm equally shit at every other sport I've ever tried but that was the one I most wanted to be able to play.
Half a mind to post my sporting ability on the "things you're good at" thread as "I'm good at being so bad at sports that most people can't actually believe I'm not being this appalling on purpose".
I really empathise with this. I'm also (being somewhat dyspraxic) not good a sport, but I love table tennis, though even at local club level I lost many more matches than I won. But, curiously, I am a very good coach with beginners and have a lot of patience with those trying to improve their game.
I got plenty of exercise playing table tennis. Chasing the ball around the room after missing it. I can't recall ever hitting a table tennis ball with a bat.
Hell, yes!
I can manage a recognisable tune on the recorder, just about.
Also anything involving running, jumping, climbing or balancing.
Oh I know. You wash and wipe and scrub and dust and vacuum - and six months later it's all to do again.
I was mainly a bowler. Medium pace mainly but I could sometimes put extra effort in if I thought it worthwhile. Throughout my career, my main objective was not to be taken off.
As a batter I could stay in if needed, but if runs were needed, I had the reputation of hitting hard, high and seldom.
I lost my throwing ability as I got older.
Same here - and I'm 70!
Join the "looks like it was done by a five year old" art club here.
Also I can’t run, catch or draw. I don’t know the times tables either.
Same. I’d love to be in any way competent at cricket. Amongst my school’s old boys a match in which I took the winning wicket (having been selected as scorer, I kid you not) is infamous.
I think after 4 no balls the bowler couldn’t believe a complete daisy cutting in-swinger was any threat - it went under his bat and dislodged one bail before finally running out of what momentum it ever had and sitting against the base of the off stump.
I was carried aloft. And mortified.
In my case I off-set this by being good enough for the fourth XV at rugby. Which I enjoyed, but have never loved as I do cricket.
Can you say "meatier ALL a gist"?
I always think of an episode of Whad'yaknow with Michael Feldman (a talk/game show). Feldman was talking with a member of the audience. The man was an historian. Feldman asked him to introduce the rest of the people the historian came with. He could only do about half of them, and explained that he had a bad memory for names:
Feldman: But your an historian!
Historian: I can't remember names. I have a very good memory for dates.
Feldman: So you can tell me when somebody died, you just can't tell me who it was? 😆
I was utterly shit at rugby too. And football. Tennis. Every sport I turned my hand to I was the absolute shittest at by a considerable margin.
Parallel parking is mostly beyond my skill level, unless there’s lots of space to work and lots of time. I’m not particularly good at other kinds of parking either come to think of it.
I’m mildly dyspraxic so not very good at most sports. Also not born with whatever gene it is that allows people to watch sports without eyes glazing over…
I can deliberately focus on the pictures if I think about it. A magazine is easier eg Country Living- I DO see the pictures as there are so many, and they are interesting or beautiful.
Same here, and unfortunately I remember when I was growing up it was something I wanted to be good at.
Tennis. I love to watch and come froma family of better-than-average players. Me? The children could beat me before they were seven.
Tennis - on my serve it was a series of double faults, or a pathetic drop into the right part of the opponent's court which was smashed straight back.
On the other guy's serve it was a series of aces.
I'm not exaggerating. If I actually hit the ball at all it was a miracle. If I hit it and it actually landed in, that was - well, it didn’t happen even once during some matches.
The teachers are all banging on about spin and placing the ball in a particular part of the opponent's court while I can't even contact the ball. They might as well try teaching calculus in a nursery.
Squash is the one that really amazes me. How do those guys know where the ball is? I'm damned if I can even see it when it's moving. I just see racquets moving and bangs as the ball hits things, but I never see the ball itself.
The combination of these means that people don’t take me very seriously, talk over me or sometimes even shout me down. A lot of the time people ignore me or look through me. That’s ok because I don’t need much affirmation.
The upside is that few see me as a threat and sometimes people tell me things they don’t intend to.
astonishingly, for someone who's in general pretty hopeless at sports* (and basically share your entire experience of tennis), I discovered in the sixth form that I can play squash - and have kept it up off and on since then. I don't suppose I've played for a decade now, but I still own a racquet.
I think things look very difficult when you're actually on the court (I'm completely bewildered watching it), and there's a really limited number of places you can move to (and limited number of shots), which frees more of my brain to concentrate on hand/eye co-ordination.
In a funny sort of way, for me therefore it works because it feels *slower* than other sports. My ASD/ADHD means I struggle to do too many things at once, but squash has always felt much more accessible/doable. When I discovered I could actually enjoy it, I adopted it enthusiastically. I'm still no more than the top end of incompetent, but it was an unexpected discovery.
*4th XV rugby as mentioned above being pretty much 'look for the pile of bodies and lend a hand'
Sport
My husband can - even a very fancy Christmas dinner for ten people.
Me, nope. I'm like you. I can cook individual things or one pot meals but for find roast dinners so stressful I never do it
My general lack of coordination means that I never managed to learn to play the piano as well as I would have liked to. That and my teenaged self’s laziness about doing anything that actually required work. I like to think I would have practiced more if my coordination were better, but perhaps that is wishful thinking long after the fact.
Same here. My wife is an excellent cook BTW.
Yes, thanks!
I want to put an ‘ollo’ in the middle.
That's because it has an 'ollo' in it - not 'alla" - unless you happen to have an accent that merges the two.
Okay. I pronounce it as I wrote above. "Meatier ALL a gist". "All" rhymes with "ball".
How do you pronounce it?