So sorry to hear about your mum @Gill H , but glad you had a good last visit near the end.
I still treasure my mum saying 'I love you too' the second to last time I saw her. By then she rarely said anything that made sense.
It does make me smile that, for a family that doesn't do anything for Hallowe'en, we are doing the most Hallowe'en-y thing possible. The funeral is on 31 October. So of course we are having 'For All The Saints' even if it's a day early.
After 199 days in hospital waiting for a placement in his nursing home of his choice, my father has been moved to a home that is primarily for veterans while he waits for a bed in his nursing home of choice. The irony is he is not a veteran although I am as a result of my service in the Reserves.
We've chosen the music for the commital at the crem (which will happen the day after the funeral).
As Mum loved Grieg's Peer Gynt suite, we've gone for 'Solveig's Song' at the beginning and 'Morning' at the end (I guess that could seem an odd choice but the symbolism of a 'new dawn' is rather nice).
I do have random thoughts about what would happen if they hit the wrong button and we got 'Hall of the Mountain King'!
Reminds me of the (true) story of the bride who wanted the theme from 'Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves' played when she entered the church in all her glory. What the poor lass got, to her surprise (and no doubt everybody else) was, 'Robin Hood, Robin hod, Riding through the Glen'.
For my funeral, I'll ask for 'My Boomerang won't come back'.
Well, Mun’s funeral was a beautiful occasion. We were unexpectedly blessed with a warm sunny day, and the church was packed full with family and friends.
We sang:
O love that wilt not let me go
Thine be the glory
For all the saints
We had a buffet afterwards and enjoyed catching with so many friends. As Mum was an avid collector of penguins, we brought a selection to church and invited everyone to take one home in memory of her.
Tomorrow is the commital at the crem, which will be a quieter affair just for the immediate family.
The committal was no less beautiful in its own way, and we had 'Solveig's Song' and 'Morning' from Peer Gynt suite - thankfully not 'Hall of the Mountain King'!
We're off on holiday now (booked 18 months ago) and so grateful that Dad's carer Stefie will be with him while we are away.
I've just been down to see my Dad, who lives alone now that Mum is gone. This visit could have been sub-titled 'Count Arthur Strong gets a smart meter'. You have to laugh, as they say.
@mark_in_manchester you may just have described my future, though I can't quite cast my father in the "Count Arthur Strong" role.
It's odd - now Mum is gone and not there to be upset by (amongst other things) his and my failing to get along - somehow we get along. And when we don't, I don't really care like I used to. I feel guilty about us getting on - about the amount of time I am spending down there, which she would have loved. He's starting to lose his memory; it's a funny feeling, that we have never got along better than at this time when he is no longer really himself. I'm touching wood (my head, always available) fervently as I write this, of course.
I experienced a bit of this four years ago, when my dad had to come and help me after my Achilles Tendon reconstruction, because my partner in Chicago couldn't get into the country. My dad and I got on, sort of, but he did still drive me mad. My mother's part in that is not something I can currently articulate.
Peace to everyone here supporting APs. Just back from a week with Dad, some of it with sis. Things went well - I am very grateful, and at the moment looking forward to the next trip down. It hasn't always been like this. Touch wood
Christmas with my Dad and his lovely carer Stefie has been quiet but good.
We cooked Christmas dinner and brought it to them. Dad’s appetite is so small he hardly ate anything, but Stefie enjoyed her first British Christmas dinner, as well as the pudding we served on Boxing Day.
Of course we felt the loss of Mum, but as she was in the nursing home last Christmas, the actual practicalities didn’t feel that different.
Looking forward to Dad’s 93rd birthday next week. There were times I thought he wouldn’t make it. So grateful for dear Stefie who is part of the family now.
Christmas with my Dad and his lovely carer Stefie has been quiet but good.
We cooked Christmas dinner and brought it to them. Dad’s appetite is so small he hardly ate anything, but Stefie enjoyed her first British Christmas dinner, as well as the pudding we served on Boxing Day.
Of course we felt the loss of Mum, but as she was in the nursing home last Christmas, the actual practicalities didn’t feel that different.
Looking forward to Dad’s 93rd birthday next week. There were times I thought he wouldn’t make it. So grateful for dear Stefie who is part of the family now.
I'm late chiming in, but your Christmas Day sounds like it went well @Gill H , having a good carer must make such a difference! I hope your Dad's birthday goes well!
We have a suction handrail in the shower for FD, who has no balance due to his menieres. Combined with one of those heavy duty industrial rubber mats he has no trouble - more of an issue is making sure that the bath mats are in the right place so he doesn't slip on a wet bathroom floor.
We had to postpone our Christmas visit to Mum as we all had a lurgy, but we finally gave her her Christmas present on Friday.
Mum had hand-written an account of her childhood. She wanted me to type it up and print off a copy for each grandchild. I word-processed it with lots of photos and had 20 copies printed. Mum was completely unprepared for this and delighted. It's starting to look as though 20 copies might not be enough as Mum keeps thinking of more people who might like a copy of her book!
I think the feedback she gets as people read it will be a positive for some time to come.
We postponed seeing my 89 year old father on Sunday because he had a cold. Good thing, since I woke up that morning with a bit of a sore throat that has become a bit more sore. Teaching wasn't a joy yesterday morning; we will see how my throat/voice hold out tomorrow morning.
We had to postpone our Christmas visit to Mum as we all had a lurgy, but we finally gave her her Christmas present on Friday.
Mum had hand-written an account of her childhood. She wanted me to type it up and print off a copy for each grandchild. I word-processed it with lots of photos and had 20 copies printed. Mum was completely unprepared for this and delighted. It's starting to look as though 20 copies might not be enough as Mum keeps thinking of more people who might like a copy of her book!
I think the feedback she gets as people read it will be a positive for some time to come.
Dad passed on this morning after a nasty chest infection. He was at home in bed, as comfortable and peaceful as possible, and Hugal and were both there, as was his wonderful carer who has been such a blessing. His dear friend Joy (also retired clergy) came over and prayed with him, which he appreciated.
He made it to 93 with a sound mind and loving family and friends. That’s the best we could have asked for.
Dad passed on this morning after a nasty chest infection. He was at home in bed, as comfortable and peaceful as possible, and Hugal and were both there, as was his wonderful carer who has been such a blessing. His dear friend Joy (also retired clergy) came over and prayed with him, which he appreciated.
He made it to 93 with a sound mind and loving family and friends. That’s the best we could have asked for.
Comments
I still treasure my mum saying 'I love you too' the second to last time I saw her. By then she rarely said anything that made sense.
I'm so glad you and your Dad were able to have a good visit with your Mum. Those memories are so precious.
As Mum loved Grieg's Peer Gynt suite, we've gone for 'Solveig's Song' at the beginning and 'Morning' at the end (I guess that could seem an odd choice but the symbolism of a 'new dawn' is rather nice).
I do have random thoughts about what would happen if they hit the wrong button and we got 'Hall of the Mountain King'!
For my funeral, I'll ask for 'My Boomerang won't come back'.
We sang:
O love that wilt not let me go
Thine be the glory
For all the saints
We had a buffet afterwards and enjoyed catching with so many friends. As Mum was an avid collector of penguins, we brought a selection to church and invited everyone to take one home in memory of her.
Tomorrow is the commital at the crem, which will be a quieter affair just for the immediate family.
We're off on holiday now (booked 18 months ago) and so grateful that Dad's carer Stefie will be with him while we are away.
It's odd - now Mum is gone and not there to be upset by (amongst other things) his and my failing to get along - somehow we get along. And when we don't, I don't really care like I used to. I feel guilty about us getting on - about the amount of time I am spending down there, which she would have loved. He's starting to lose his memory; it's a funny feeling, that we have never got along better than at this time when he is no longer really himself. I'm touching wood (my head, always available) fervently as I write this, of course.
We cooked Christmas dinner and brought it to them. Dad’s appetite is so small he hardly ate anything, but Stefie enjoyed her first British Christmas dinner, as well as the pudding we served on Boxing Day.
Of course we felt the loss of Mum, but as she was in the nursing home last Christmas, the actual practicalities didn’t feel that different.
Looking forward to Dad’s 93rd birthday next week. There were times I thought he wouldn’t make it. So grateful for dear Stefie who is part of the family now.
🕯
Mum had hand-written an account of her childhood. She wanted me to type it up and print off a copy for each grandchild. I word-processed it with lots of photos and had 20 copies printed. Mum was completely unprepared for this and delighted. It's starting to look as though 20 copies might not be enough as Mum keeps thinking of more people who might like a copy of her book!
I think the feedback she gets as people read it will be a positive for some time to come.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
He made it to 93 with a sound mind and loving family and friends. That’s the best we could have asked for.
🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
Sending you hugs and love.