Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    From the Japan Times

    Trump evacuated as shooter opens fire at Washington gala event

    Reminds me of a MASH episode where a bomb exploded nearby and Potter called "Evacuate", and Hawkeye said "I think I already did".
    I laughed aloud when I read that. Thank you. It has made my day.

  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    edited May 1
    Again, from the BBC news website:
    'Europe trips without huge crowds or price tags' Not weird, perhaps, but ambivelent to this erstwhile editor.
    On first (and second) reading I read 'trips' as a verb'. Better would be, 'Trips to Europe without ...' Just the addition of a single short word makes it clear.
  • RoseofsharonRoseofsharon Shipmate
    Found online, apparently from The Independent:

    Golders Green terror attack suspect was living in home for people who leave secure hospital before stabbings
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    A bit of lexical rearrangement needed, perhaps? I suggest:

    Before stabbings, Golders Green terror attack suspect was living in home for people who leave secure hospital ...

    You'd think the Indy might have someone who could have spotted that.
  • But think of the Ink they saved by not using that comma!
  • Here is a truly momentous headline from the "Rail Advent" website: "Squeaky tables fixed on Southern Trains". Please quell your excitement!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Well done, Southern Trains!

    Although it's unlikely I'll ever use them, I'm happy that those who do will no longer have to put up with the squeakage.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Tearful best friend of tragic Welsh footballer in heartbreaking plea after death at 25

    I gather that somebody got the Big Box of Adjectives for their birthday...
  • Indeed so. There's not many of us who can make pleas, heartbreaking or otherwise, after we're dead.
  • SipechSipech Shipmate
    From the Beeb again:
    Metal detectorist 'could have found belongings of Iron Age queen'
    I read this as though they had an opportunity to find said belongings but missed out.

    Surely, the word 'could' ought to be replaced by the word 'might' if they found something and the question of who it belonged to was yet to be determined with any accuracy; as appears to be the case when reading the article.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    True, there are any number of things the "detectorist" could find! Bottle caps, lost keys, Amelia Earhart's plane....
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    That might depend on where they're doing their detectoring.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited May 16
    Ignoring the weird grammar, what they found was this: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn8p4pr00x3o
  • BBC: "Tens of thousands descend on London for rival protests".

    Gosh, a mass parachute descent, like Arnhem!
  • BBC: "Putin and Xi renew plans to build major gas pipeline during talks in Beijing".

    Either the pipeline builders are going to work incredibly quickly, or else the talks will drag on for years.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Very efficient!
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    Murder or accident? Mystery of Mango tycoon's hiking death after son's arrest

    Took me a moment to work out that Mango meant the clothing retailer.

  • Murder or accident? Mystery of Mango tycoon's hiking death after son's arrest
    Or was it the news of his son's arrest that caused the death of Mr Mango?

  • The RogueThe Rogue Shipmate
    BBC: "Putin and Xi renew plans to build major gas pipeline during talks in Beijing".

    Either the pipeline builders are going to work incredibly quickly, or else the talks will drag on for years.

    I'm surprised that those two are going to get their hands dirty building the pipeline.
  • They'll wear gloves.
  • BBC R4 has just told us that "net migration has dropped".

    I haven't been aware of all these nets trying to get into the country.
  • SipechSipech Shipmate
    BBC R4 has just told us that "net migration has dropped".

    I haven't been aware of all these nets trying to get into the country.

    Mate, I read that at my desk in the office - during a lunch break.
    My colleagues are now wondering why my laugh turned into a pig snort.
  • "No comment".
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