There once was a PM called Boris
Who may soon need some removal lorries
Just pack up and leave
And no longer believe
Car parks with one floor are multi-stories
There once was a fella named BoJo
Who thought his historical mojo
Was English and jaunty
Like Churchill and Monty
Though his politics tilted toward Tojo
There once was a lady called Carrie
Who lived with a feline named Larry
But the pussy will stay
Although she’ll go away
Her feckless old husband to harry
There was an Old Man in a Fridge
Who thought that he would build a bridge
O'er the broad Irish sea,
Or the Thames est-ua-ry
But his promise was worth not a smidge.
The Eurocrats over in Brussels
Remember the Mop and his hustles
Their Hip-Hip-Hooray
Sounds o'er Europe today
Though there's no end to Albion's tussles
The Eurocrats over in Brussels
Remember the Mop and his hustles
While their Hip-Hip-Hooray
Rings through Europe today
There's no end to Albion's tussles.
Slight re-write. The "o'er" contraction has always sounded somewhat forced to me, and I moved the contradiction from the fifth to the third line.
There was a Young Person whose Nose
Was as long as Pinocchio's which grows
With each hideous fib
He got more and more glib
So for a job, it was politics he chose.
(I shall, slightly naughtily, complete version 2...)
There was a Young Person whose Nose
Was as long as Pinocchio's which grows
So the ladies all guessed
Its full size. He confessed
That only his wife really knows.
The manual digits of clerics
Have most of their flock in hysterics
Whilst pointing on high
To the Pie in the Sky
While preaching in courtesans' barracks
There was an old man from Caerphilly
Who was bored so decided to kill e
From the name of his town
He wrote Carphilly down
But was told to stop being so silly
Comments
The people not yet placated
But the news is just in
that the Mop's in the bin
And his premiership’s classed as unrated
— — —
Number 10 is not yet vacated
The people not yet placated
The languishing Boris
Unforsaken by Dorries
Just sits there quite ruffle-pated.
— — —
Who may soon need some removal lorries
Who may soon need some removal lorries
Just pack up and leave
And no longer believe
Car parks with one floor are multi-stories
Who thought his historical mojo
Was English and jaunty
Like Churchill and Monty
Though his politics tilted toward Tojo
Who lived with a feline named Larry
Who lived with a feline named Larry
But the pussy will stay
Although she’ll go away
Who lived with a feline named Larry
But the pussy will stay
Although she’ll go away
Her feckless old husband to harry
Which someone tossed over a bridge
Who thought that he would build a bridge
O'er the broad Irish sea,
Or the Thames est-ua-ry
But his promise was worth not a smidge.
Which someone tossed over a bridge
When it was fished out
He started to shout
Which someone tossed over a bridge
When it was fished out
He started to shout:
"I wanted to sail to Blue Ridge!"
A Mop-headed Man with a Trolley
Normally as cool as a lolly
Wanted to marry
But the one called Carrie
Doesn’t live here any more, this dolly
The Eurocrats over in Brussels
The Eurocrats over in Brussels
Remember the Mop and his hustles
Remember the Mop and his hustles
Their Hip-Hip-Hooray
Sounds o'er Europe today
Remember the Mop and his hustles
Their Hip-Hip-Hooray
Sounds o'er Europe today
Though there's no end to Albion's tussles
Remember the Mop and his hustles
While their Hip-Hip-Hooray
Rings through Europe today
There's no end to Albion's tussles.
Yea, an it please thee, O Rhymer - I mind not, and thou mayest move thy contradictions whithersoever thou wilt.
Cool, dude.
Channelling Edward Lear again, then:
There was a Young Person whose Nose
Was as long as Pinocchio's which grows
Was as long as Pinocchio's which grows
With each hideous fib
Was as long as Pinocchio's which grows
So the ladies all guessed
Was as long as Pinocchio's which grows
With each hideous fib
He got more and more glib
So for a job, it was politics he chose.
(I shall, slightly naughtily, complete version 2...)
There was a Young Person whose Nose
Was as long as Pinocchio's which grows
So the ladies all guessed
Its full size. He confessed
That only his wife really knows.
Paired up with a circus acrobat
Paired up with a circus acrobat
They flew with such ease
On a flying trapeze
Paired up with a circus acrobat
They flew with such ease
On a flying trapeze
But their rhyming and scanning fell flat.
Have most of their flock in hysterics
The manual digits of clerics
Have most of their flock in hysterics
Whilst pointing on high
To the Pie in the Sky
Have most of their flock in hysterics
Whilst pointing on high
To the Pie in the Sky
While preaching in courtesans' barracks
Was given a nasty head-ache
Was given a nasty head-ache
‘Cos a cake that eats flies
Can get quite a surprise
Was given a nasty head-ache
‘Cos a cake that eats flies
Can get quite a surprise
When put in the oven to bake
— — —
Who was bored so decided to kill e
From the name of his town
He wrote Carphilly down
But was told to stop being so silly
Who was quite a recalcitrant bettor
There was an Old Person from Cheddar
Whose love life was just getting deader
He met a young floozy
Who wasn't too choosy