As we are into bad rude jokes .... the story goes that an old lady's two beloved pet dogs died and she took them to a taxidermist . "Do you want them mounted?" he asked her. "goodness gracious" she replied, "just holding hands".
I was holding a Paul Newman Salad Dressing jar
when my granddaughter asked who was Paul Newman.
I explained Paul Newman was the heart throb of her great grandmother's generation
like Brad Pitt.
She asked who is Brad Pitt.
I will be at the senior center
eating my applesauce.
A Rottweiler, German Shepherd and Alaskan Malamute were having a drink together at a bar. The Rottie looked up and said, "God told me I was the most handsome and most powerful dog out there." The German Shephard looked up and said, "God told me I was the bravest dog out there. The Malamute looked up and said, "I don't remember saying that."
Chap at my folk club had started his second can of lager and said "I'm doing dry January" and pointed to the empty can; "there's a dry one".
Lager at a folk club?!
That's either stretching credulity or the world really is going to Hell in a hand-cart.
You're right it should be cask conditioned real ale -and sometimes it is at the folk club I go to that meets in the Guide Dog pub. But the folk club I run meets in a church coffee lounge and people bring their own drinks.
Now if someone wanted to start a thread on folk clubs...!
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Australia is already in 2026,
Europe is still in 2025,
and the USA is currently in 1940.
You are a vile and filthy person.
Given that I (a) knew exactly which clip it was and (b) laughed like a drain I guess I'm vile and filthy too.
If ever they pump the Ship's bilges, a whole lot of us will be sluiced overboard and the owners will be facing marine environmental offence charges..
"The funeral for the man who invented Tupperware has been delayed until they can find the right lid for his coffin.”
Does Philomena Cunk have a sister called Ophelia?
The middle of a conference was a *bad* moment to check the Ship!
when my granddaughter asked who was Paul Newman.
I explained Paul Newman was the heart throb of her great grandmother's generation
like Brad Pitt.
She asked who is Brad Pitt.
I will be at the senior center
eating my applesauce.
really missed an opportunity to call them
substitooths.
...
Their gender went up to 11.
...
toes-ty
GROAN!
Sounds weird, dozen tit?
A French artist once painted a portrait of a lady with five breasts. He called it 'Sanctity'.
Terrible... that really is a certifiably bad joke.
(You can substitute a cat for the Malamute.)
Crew Member: Weightlessness?
Starship Captain: No, Gravy.
Just sold my homing pigeon on Ebay for the 22nd time.
And the Good ol boys were drinking Whisky an Dry...
PS love your homing pigeon joke, Gramps
Grav it y minus it
=gravy
It's bad!
Lager at a folk club?!
That's either stretching credulity or the world really is going to Hell in a hand-cart.
You're right it should be cask conditioned real ale -and sometimes it is at the folk club I go to that meets in the Guide Dog pub. But the folk club I run meets in a church coffee lounge and people bring their own drinks.
Now if someone wanted to start a thread on folk clubs...!
Told by a fourth grader.
Why did the sock cross the road?
It was on the chicken's foot.
He: Have you seen the dog bowl?
She: No - never knew he could.