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Heaven: Degree in Shipoffoolsology

la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
edited August 2021 in Limbo
The discussion of exam grades in hell generated this:
Leorning Cniht wrote: »
alienfromzog wrote: »
not speculate here on whether a degree in Shipoffoolsology would be a BSc or a BA... although I reckon we might have fun choosing the faculty. Presumably lectures would take place in the Aligator Lecture Theatre.

I suspect it would be a BS :wink:

I think this needs further exploration. What kind of degree is Shipoffoolsology? What's on the curriculum? What do you need to master to get a passing grade?
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Comments

  • Gamma GamalielGamma Gamaliel Shipmate
    Persistence? A thick skin?
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    There’s a technical 101 on Quoting, Linking and Coding. It doesn’t count towards the final award, but you have to pass it to qualify. (There’s also Advanced QLC for those who like that sort of thing, and for anyone wanting to take the integral Host and/or Admin modules. Alternatively they can be covered in a post-graduate diploma course.)
  • NOprophet_NØprofitNOprophet_NØprofit Shipmate
    There's obviously a history class, which, if you weren't there, you may think isn't relevant, in the "history is bunk" kind of way.
  • alienfromzogalienfromzog Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    :smiley:

    For reference:
    http://forums.shipoffools.com/discussion/comment/325072/#Comment_325072

    See the P.S. at the bottom.
  • BoogieBoogie Heaven Host
    Learning to use ITTWACW to good effect ...
  • mark_in_manchestermark_in_manchester Shipmate
    Definitely a BS. Faculty are struggling since they have a well-established portfolio of modules on things like Atonement Theories and Biblical Inerrancy which are now proving unattractive to new entrants. It has been suggested that re-working existing materials for a new era ( Aulen's 'Christus Victor'; a non-binary critique and TULIP+, inclusivity and the acronym ) might serve as a workable marketing hook while the Dean contacts the unions and initiates a 90-day consultation period.
  • alienfromzogalienfromzog Shipmate
    Boogie wrote: »
    Learning to use ITTWACW to good effect ...

    I think a mandatory first year essay should be What is a Christian website anyway? or perhaps Where would Jesus browse?
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate
    All of the Acronyms course.

    The history module should have an essey on "Who was Erin, anyway?"

    A unit covering "Where to post what", "Hell calls" and an advonced unit on "crafting insults".

    I feel there should be an options, but recommended, unit on "How to say sorry". Not everyone needs this, of course. I mean, I would have to take it several times.
  • not entirely menot entirely me Shipmate
    How to mystery worship - including practical write-up.

    Optional unit - popular pastimes on the ship
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    A course (in Russian) in the correct use of the Sacred Phrase - 'IS OUTRAGE!'
  • Lots of YayLots of Yay Shipmate
    Extracurricular activities, which can be used for extra credit, include the annual Mornington Crescent tournament.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Candidates are advised to familiarise themselves with The Hunting of the Snark.
  • Lots of YayLots of Yay Shipmate
    Group activities are called meets and usually occur at pubs.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    Candidates are advised to familiarise themselves with The Hunting of the Snark.

    This, in order to avoid being envanished by Boojums (Booja?), aka Hosts and Admins...
    :flushed:

  • PendragonPendragon Shipmate
    Our Chaplaincy Studies degree had modules in tea making, explaining jokes, advanced argument and helping lost souls looking for places and people.

    I think that there would definitely have to be modules on the Circus (optional) and understanding global figures of speech.
  • Colin SmithColin Smith Suspended
    From experience I'd quite like some members to take a course in "Just because he's an atheist doesn't mean you have to try to convert him."
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    But...ITTWACW!
  • Colin SmithColin Smith Suspended
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    But...ITTWACW!

    Well.... :smiley: the least they could do is form an orderly queue and compare notes. As it is it's like every one of them thinks they've got the special conversion juice, not realising that after a while an atheist has heard all of the variants.
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Stick close to your desk and never go to sea.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    And you all may be rulers of the Queen's navee
  • PriscillaPriscilla Shipmate
    A course in “Ship abbreviations and the use thereof”, also “Ship jargon: To include a section on the correct use of rusty farm implements, and why do so many need their coats?”
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    A PhD* is entry level qualification.

    *Pedant holding Dictionary.
  • ArethosemyfeetArethosemyfeet Shipmate, Heaven Host
    Firenze wrote: »
    A PhD* is entry level qualification.

    *Pedant holding Dictionary.

    Pfft. The true pedant has no need of such crutches.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    The Dictionary is of course the 1755 folio by Samuel Johnson AM, and is for use as a weapon not a crutch.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    /pedant alert/

    I think you might mean MA, not AM (unless you refer to a chap who only functioned effectively before lunch...)
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    /pedant alert/

    I think you might mean MA, not AM (unless you refer to a chap who only functioned effectively before lunch...)

    I give you the text of original title page:

    A
    DICTIONARY
    of the
    ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
    in which
    The WORDS are deduced from their ORIGINALS,
    and
    ILLUSTRATED in their DIFFERENT SIGNIFICATIONS
    by
    EXAMPLES from the best WRITERS.
    To which are prefixed,
    A HISTORY of the LANGUAGE,
    and AN ENGLISH GRAMMAR.
    By SAMUEL JOHNSON, A.M.
    In TWO Volumes

  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    According to Professor Wik I. Pedia it can be either
    Magister Artium or Artium Magister; abbreviated MA or AM
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    I hang my pedantic head in shame, and stand corrected in the Dunce's Corner...
    :disappointed:
  • BoogieBoogie Heaven Host
    Priscilla wrote: »
    A course in “Ship abbreviations and the use thereof”, also “Ship jargon: To include a section on the correct use of rusty farm implements, and why do so many need their coats?”

    🤣🤣🤣

  • Rev per MinuteRev per Minute Shipmate
    'Hell 101: Metallurgy and Forging your own Heat-Resistant Underwear'

    Alternative - 'Hitting the Target: Painting one on your own back and surviving the experience' (comes with pre-paid funeral plan for those who fail the module)
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    Advanced: why the Ship isn't as good as it was when I joined.
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate
    Why the previous software was better. And the software before that. (A dissertation module)

    Appropriate use of the word "Fuck" in heaven, purgatory and hell.
  • Colin SmithColin Smith Suspended
    How to spread concord and amity on the fora.

    Tutor to be advised.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Question 1
    If there is a Ship meet in the Kings Head pub, how long will it take them to drink it dry?
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    GIN and chocolate: comestibles and bribery in 21st century Shipdom
  • Net SpinsterNet Spinster Shipmate
    Hell calls: how to prepare the the fires and avoid being scorched.
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Priscilla wrote: »
    A course in “Ship abbreviations and the use thereof”, also “Ship jargon: To include a section on the correct use of rusty farm implements, and why do so many need their coats?”

    I'm a relatively seasoned shipmate but have never understood the rusty farm implement thing, so if someone would care to explain...
  • Leorning CnihtLeorning Cniht Shipmate
    Nenya wrote: »
    I'm a relatively seasoned shipmate but have never understood the rusty farm implement thing, so if someone would care to explain...

    It was a favoured saying of Erin, of blessed memory.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    And also Sarky Cow, if I recall correctly!
  • Pangolin GuerrePangolin Guerre Shipmate
    Right, then.... I've been around a while on Ship old and new, but... why are things like GIN, CHEESE, WINE so capitalised?
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    Pangolin Guerre wrote: »
    Right, then.... I've been around a while on Ship old and new, but... why are things like GIN, CHEESE, WINE so capitalised?
    I’ve always assumed it was to highlight their importance.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Yes, that is so. The same applies to CAKE...
    :grin:
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    Firenze wrote: »
    [
    I give you the text of original title page:

    A
    DICTIONARY
    of the
    ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
    in which
    The WORDS are deduced from their ORIGINALS,
    and
    ILLUSTRATED in their DIFFERENT SIGNIFICATIONS
    by
    EXAMPLES from the best WRITERS.
    To which are prefixed,
    A HISTORY of the LANGUAGE,
    and AN ENGLISH GRAMMAR.
    By SAMUEL JOHNSON, A.M.
    In TWO Volumes
    I didn't know there was a Welsh Assembly (Senedd) back then, nor that SJ was a member. The things you learn on this vessel ...

  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    Yes, that is so. The same applies to CAKE...
    :grin:
    Only Sarf of the Rivver ...

  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    No, no - I'm sure they have CAKE in Embra...
    :confused:

    (Nota bene - this is NOT a coded message to evil Russian agents)
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    No, no - I'm sure they have CAKE in Embra...
    :confused:

    (Nota bene - this is NOT a coded message to evil Russian agents)

    It is a coded message to evil agents all over the world. Got you now BF
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Curses! Foiled again! D*mn you, Moriarty!
    :confounded:
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    No, no - I'm sure they have CAKE in Embra...
    :confused:

    You're thinking of Dundee.

  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    Or Madeira.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    I refuse to be drawn, now that my plans for World Domination, by means of CAKE, have been discovered.
    :disappointed:
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