Indeed, I was simply explaining the assumption it was based on, but it might have been simpler to just say the joke was borderline racist in the first place.
Indeed, I was simply explaining the assumption it was based on, but it might have been simpler to just say the joke was borderline racist in the first place.
Yes, perhaps. I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt as the only interpretation I could put on it was an unpleasant one.
It could do with someone who speaks Welsh coming up with a ingle word place name that could mean something like "the hillside overlooking the river with lots of cows". Which still doesn't address the fact that a cattle brand is never (if at all) the full name of the farm/ranch/owner but simply something uniquely identifying - but would at least make some sort of sense.
I was a bit puzzled, although I understood the allusion to long Welsh place names. If such combinations as LLAN, UWCH, and AU had been included, it might have made more sense, if still stereotyping...
A man walks into a café that advertises 'Any kind of sandwich you care to order!'
He therefore (just to be awkward) orders an elephant sandwich (with side salad). The waiter comes back, and says that, unfortunately, they can't make him an elephant sandwich.
'Ha!', scoffs the man, 'Run out of elephant already, have you?'
'No', says the waiter, 'but we're out of bread just at the moment...'.
Do you mean something like the way Jews (for example) can tell such hilarious jokes against themselves?
A man walks into a café that advertises 'Any kind of sandwich you care to order!'
'I want a crocodile sandwich - and make it snappy!'
Five Czechs and five Slovaks are taking the train. The Slovaks buy five tickets but the Czechs only buy one ticket between them. 'How are you going to get past the inspector?' ask the Slovaks. 'Watch and learn,' reply the Czechs.
In due course the inspector comes round and, before he can see them, the Czechs all pile into the lavatory. The inspector sees that the lavatory is occupied, raps on the door, and barks: 'Ticket please!' The Czechs pass their ticket under the door and the inspector goes away satisfied.
A little bit later, the same two groups take the train again. The Slovaks this time buy one ticket between them, but the Czechs don't buy any ticket at all. 'How are you going to get past the inspector?' ask the Slovaks. 'Watch and learn,' reply the Czechs.
In due course the inspector comes round and, before he can see them, the Slovaks all pile into the lavatory. One of the Czechs then goes and raps on the door: 'Ticket please ...'
I think this works as racial but non-racist because it isn't based on any specific characteristic of Czechs and Slovaks, but just on the rivalry between the two countries. I've heard alternative versions involving Oxford and Cambridge students, or two German cities.
So sorry, did not mean to offend. I was truly not intending to make fun of the Welch language. I just thought it was funny to be putting a long brand on a cow because the man now lived in an area that I thought often had long names for things. Lesson learned. Please accept my apology.
So sorry, did not mean to offend. I was truly not intending to make fun of the Welch language. I just thought it was funny to be putting a long brand on a cow because the man now lived in an area that I thought often had long names for things. Lesson learned. Please accept my apology.
No problem - incidentally, Welsh, never Welch. Cymraeg is preferred though as that's its name; "Welsh" was a label applied to it by the incoming Early English and means "Foreign", the cheeky gits
Dydy mwyaf geiriau Cymraeg ddim yn hirach na'r geiriau Saesneg, yn wir (most Cymraeg words are no longer than English words, really)
A Benedictine, a Dominican and a Jesuit are visiting an archaeological dig. "We've found a first century tomb and inscription", says the directing professor, "which I think you will find very interesting."
The inscription (in translation) reads: "Here Lie the Bones of Jesus Christ".
The Benedictine falls to his knees and exclaims: "Amazing! We must immediately build a shrine for these incredibly holy relics!"
The Domincian says: "No, you don't understand! This utterly changes the most foundational elements of our beliefs!"
"Absolutely!" says the Jesuit. "It really looks as though he may have existed after all..."
@KarlLB will confirm, but I'm pretty sure that name was invented, to amuse the English tourists...
Pretty much.
Its original name is Pwllgwyngyll, which at three syllables and ten letters (ll is a single letter with its own place and name in the alphabet) is unremarkable. It acquired the common element Llanfair (St Mary's Church), much like the "St Giles" addition to Chalfont. Running them together starts looking long, so not surprisingly someone - although who is obscure - did lengthen it in the 19th century, probably for tourism.
It's not really representative of Welsh placenames.
Gentle Hostly nod
Thank you for your very nice apology, @Graven Image.
Trudy and I are watching for any un-Heavenly behavior, by the way!
There are more behaviors than potential racist jokes that we are eyeballing. Just FYI.
Some people are on a business trip in a town they don't know. It's lunchtime and they look for somewhere to get a meal. The town is scruffy. The only place that does meals is an even grubbier looking Greasy Spoon. Faced with no alternative, they go in and a waiter in a grubby apron takes their order. One of them says to him, "mind, I want mine on a clean plate". As you might expect, the service is slow, but eventually the food arrives.
The waiter calls out, "Which of you was it who ordered the clean plate?"
Some people are on a business trip in a town they don't know. It's lunchtime and they look for somewhere to get a meal. The town is scruffy. The only place that does meals is an even grubbier looking Greasy Spoon. Faced with no alternative, they go in and a waiter in a grubby apron takes their order. One of them says to him, "mind, I want mine on a clean plate". As you might expect, the service is slow, but eventually the food arrives.
The waiter calls out, "Which of you was it who ordered the clean plate?"
I'm told by my catering industry contacts, of whom I have none*, that that's because they want to make sure the one with the bodily fluids on it gets to the intended recipient
Are you there?
We can't hear or see you!
Please talk louder!
Are you there?
We can hear you but we can't see you!
Are you there?
Let's restart the connection.
Where are you?
Can you hear me now?
I still can't see you!
I don't believe this stuff works!
Two tourists are passing through Kissimmee, Florida, and are arguing about how to pronounce it. They go to a restaurant and one of them asks the server, "Please, very slowly pronounce the name of this place." The server says, "Burrrr-gerrrr Kiiiiiiinnnng."
The minister is preaching on the Day of Judgment. 'And in that Day the Lord will say to you When I was hungry, ye didnae feed me! When I was homeless, ye didnae take me in! When I was sick, ye didnae minister tae me! And ye'll say 'Lord, Lord, we didnae ken it was you! And the Lord will say unto you Ah weel, ye ken noo'.
This last phrase is embedded in Scottish conversation as a stock description of any unwelcome realisation.
The minister is preaching on the Day of Judgment. 'And in that Day the Lord will say to you When I was hungry, ye didnae feed me! When I was homeless, ye didnae take me in! When I was sick, ye didnae minister tae me! And ye'll say 'Lord, Lord, we didnae ken it was you! And the Lord will say unto you Ah weel, ye ken noo'.
This last phrase is embedded in Scottish conversation as a stock description of any unwelcome realisation.
A favourite example. The closing words of Alexander Keith's book, "A Thousand Years of Aberdeen" go: A Scots minister was exhorting his flock. 'The day will come, my brethren, when ye'll raise piteous hands to heaven and cry, "Oh Lord, Lord, we never thocht that hell would be like this." And the Lord in His infinite mercy and compassion, will look doon on ye and say, "Weel, ye ken noo" .'
A PhD student was interviewing people on a small Hebridean island for a thesis on Calvinism among offshoots of the Wee Frees.
She was talking to one old lady who said, God has through his grace and mercy condemned everyone to Hell, but has saved me and the meenister.
The researcher asks, Can a loving God really condemn everybody to Hell and only save two people?
The old lady thought for a bit and then slowly admitted, Whiles I hae me doots aboot the meenister.
The minister is preaching on the Day of Judgment. 'And in that Day the Lord will say to you When I was hungry, ye didnae feed me! When I was homeless, ye didnae take me in! When I was sick, ye didnae minister tae me! And ye'll say 'Lord, Lord, we didnae ken it was you! And the Lord will say unto you Ah weel, ye ken noo'.
This last phrase is embedded in Scottish conversation as a stock description of any unwelcome realisation.
This was referenced on the Old Ship's quotefile! It's always been a favorite of mine.
A chap goes to Liverpool and visits a rather pleasant tea-shop by the river. The server invites him to try a 'local speciality' tea called Koala. When the cup arrives, so much fluffy grey fur is floating on top of the tea that he can barely drink it. He asks the server if he can have it poured through a tea-strainer. 'Certainly not,' exclaims the server, indignantly, 'the Koala tea of Mersey is not strained.'
Karl is correct. 'Da' is intended to represent 'there'.
Voiced th in Scouse sounds like d, probably from the Irish influence.
The ere of 'there', when unstressed, sounds more like a schwa than anything else, given that Scouse is non-rhotic, i.e., 'r' is not pronounced except at the start of a syllable. I chose to spell the schwa as 'a' to draw out the near-homophony with a certain major supermarket chain.
I associate 'tha' in the sense of 'thou' with Yorkshire rather than the North West. But Scouse bears very little resemblance to any other NW variety anyway.
A man studying English as a Foreign Language was on a bus in the West End of London (theatre-land) reading the chapter dealing with the vagaries of English orthography.
'Rough - pronounced "ruff"; dough - pronounced "doh"; plough = pronounced "plow"; cough - pronounced "coff"; hiccough - pronounced "hiccup" ...' when he looked out and saw a theatre billboard.
'Les Miserables - pronounced success!' he read. He took up Esperanto.
Comments
I.e:
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
What do you call a blind antelope?
No idea.
What do you call a blind antelope with no legs?
Still no idea.
<Additional with swearing>
Still no fucking idea.
AFZ
Some are. Most aren't. And they don't look anything like the random string of characters in the joke.
It's borderline racism based on ignorance along the lines of flied lice Chinese restaurant jokes.
Yes, perhaps. I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt as the only interpretation I could put on it was an unpleasant one.
My old dad used to say:
“The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more"
Lovely bloke - terrible anaesthetist.
AFZ
It's rooted in an ignorant stereotype.
A man walks into a café that advertises 'Any kind of sandwich you care to order!'
He therefore (just to be awkward) orders an elephant sandwich (with side salad). The waiter comes back, and says that, unfortunately, they can't make him an elephant sandwich.
'Ha!', scoffs the man, 'Run out of elephant already, have you?'
'No', says the waiter, 'but we're out of bread just at the moment...'.
A man walks into a café that advertises 'Any kind of sandwich you care to order!'
'I want a crocodile sandwich - and make it snappy!'
In due course the inspector comes round and, before he can see them, the Czechs all pile into the lavatory. The inspector sees that the lavatory is occupied, raps on the door, and barks: 'Ticket please!' The Czechs pass their ticket under the door and the inspector goes away satisfied.
A little bit later, the same two groups take the train again. The Slovaks this time buy one ticket between them, but the Czechs don't buy any ticket at all. 'How are you going to get past the inspector?' ask the Slovaks. 'Watch and learn,' reply the Czechs.
In due course the inspector comes round and, before he can see them, the Slovaks all pile into the lavatory. One of the Czechs then goes and raps on the door: 'Ticket please ...'
I think this works as racial but non-racist because it isn't based on any specific characteristic of Czechs and Slovaks, but just on the rivalry between the two countries. I've heard alternative versions involving Oxford and Cambridge students, or two German cities.
No problem - incidentally, Welsh, never Welch. Cymraeg is preferred though as that's its name; "Welsh" was a label applied to it by the incoming Early English and means "Foreign", the cheeky gits
Dydy mwyaf geiriau Cymraeg ddim yn hirach na'r geiriau Saesneg, yn wir (most Cymraeg words are no longer than English words, really)
Really? How many English place names are as long as Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?
(Yup, I've been there!)
Books,
Helping introverts
avoid conversation
since 1454.
I texted it to an introvert friend who replied, "True... or are they just embroidering the truth?
A Benedictine, a Dominican and a Jesuit are visiting an archaeological dig. "We've found a first century tomb and inscription", says the directing professor, "which I think you will find very interesting."
The inscription (in translation) reads: "Here Lie the Bones of Jesus Christ".
The Benedictine falls to his knees and exclaims: "Amazing! We must immediately build a shrine for these incredibly holy relics!"
The Domincian says: "No, you don't understand! This utterly changes the most foundational elements of our beliefs!"
"Absolutely!" says the Jesuit. "It really looks as though he may have existed after all..."
Pretty much.
Its original name is Pwllgwyngyll, which at three syllables and ten letters (ll is a single letter with its own place and name in the alphabet) is unremarkable. It acquired the common element Llanfair (St Mary's Church), much like the "St Giles" addition to Chalfont. Running them together starts looking long, so not surprisingly someone - although who is obscure - did lengthen it in the 19th century, probably for tourism.
It's not really representative of Welsh placenames.
Thank you for your very nice apology, @Graven Image.
Trudy and I are watching for any un-Heavenly behavior, by the way!
There are more behaviors than potential racist jokes that we are eyeballing. Just FYI.
jj-HH
The waiter calls out, "Which of you was it who ordered the clean plate?"
I'm told by my catering industry contacts, of whom I have none*, that that's because they want to make sure the one with the bodily fluids on it gets to the intended recipient
*witticism nicked from Tom Lehrer.
Video meetings are modern seances:
Are you there?
We can't hear or see you!
Please talk louder!
Are you there?
We can hear you but we can't see you!
Are you there?
Let's restart the connection.
Where are you?
Can you hear me now?
I still can't see you!
I don't believe this stuff works!
It's Kis-SIM-mee by day, and KISS-a-mee by night.
Former Kissimmee resident.
Diner in Scottish Hotel: Are there any desserts?
Waiter: Aye. Ye can have rice pudding or meringue.
Diner: Yer no wrang, I'll hae the rice pudding.
I think "meringue" is being read as "Me wrong" -- then the answer is, you're not wrong. I'll have the rice pudding.
And speaking of the linguistically-specific -
The minister is preaching on the Day of Judgment. 'And in that Day the Lord will say to you When I was hungry, ye didnae feed me! When I was homeless, ye didnae take me in! When I was sick, ye didnae minister tae me! And ye'll say 'Lord, Lord, we didnae ken it was you! And the Lord will say unto you Ah weel, ye ken noo'.
This last phrase is embedded in Scottish conversation as a stock description of any unwelcome realisation.
A favourite example. The closing words of Alexander Keith's book, "A Thousand Years of Aberdeen" go:
A Scots minister was exhorting his flock. 'The day will come, my brethren, when ye'll raise piteous hands to heaven and cry, "Oh Lord, Lord, we never thocht that hell would be like this." And the Lord in His infinite mercy and compassion, will look doon on ye and say, "Weel, ye ken noo" .'
Fiery Ulster preacher, 'If ye do NOT REPENT, ye shall all go to HELL, where there will be weeping, and gnashing of TEETH!'
Old Lady, 'Pastor, Pastor, I have no teeth!'
Preacher, 'TEETH WILL BE PROVIDED!'
She was talking to one old lady who said, God has through his grace and mercy condemned everyone to Hell, but has saved me and the meenister.
The researcher asks, Can a loving God really condemn everybody to Hell and only save two people?
The old lady thought for a bit and then slowly admitted, Whiles I hae me doots aboot the meenister.
This was referenced on the Old Ship's quotefile! It's always been a favorite of mine.
Me mate said, da's been a shootin' at Morrison's.
An' I said, 'as da mate?
An' 'e said, no, Morrison's.
A chap goes to Liverpool and visits a rather pleasant tea-shop by the river. The server invites him to try a 'local speciality' tea called Koala. When the cup arrives, so much fluffy grey fur is floating on top of the tea that he can barely drink it. He asks the server if he can have it poured through a tea-strainer. 'Certainly not,' exclaims the server, indignantly, 'the Koala tea of Mersey is not strained.'
Translation please.
Thank you.
Only works in Scouse, where d is used for voiced th.
Scouse, like many regional UK accents, doesn't sound the letter 'h'
"'as da" therefore means 'has there', but sounds like Asda, which like Morrisons is a major UK Supermarket chain.
Morrison’s is a supermarket chain, so is Asda.
Asda sounds like, ‘as da (have you / hast tha)
It’s a dialect version of the thee / thou version of ‘you’
You’ve been courting Mary Jane on Ilkley Moor without a hat
Voiced th in Scouse sounds like d, probably from the Irish influence.
The ere of 'there', when unstressed, sounds more like a schwa than anything else, given that Scouse is non-rhotic, i.e., 'r' is not pronounced except at the start of a syllable. I chose to spell the schwa as 'a' to draw out the near-homophony with a certain major supermarket chain.
I associate 'tha' in the sense of 'thou' with Yorkshire rather than the North West. But Scouse bears very little resemblance to any other NW variety anyway.
'Rough - pronounced "ruff"; dough - pronounced "doh"; plough = pronounced "plow"; cough - pronounced "coff"; hiccough - pronounced "hiccup" ...' when he looked out and saw a theatre billboard.
'Les Miserables - pronounced success!' he read. He took up Esperanto.