Limerick

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  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    delete

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    [jrw's from the last page...]

    A woman from Mornington Crescent

  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    A woman from Mornington Crescent
    Bought her brother a valuable present
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    A woman from Mornington Crescent
    Bought her brother a valuable present
    The original boxed set
    The best you could get
    Of this, of all games most pleasant.*

    *She missed his birthday though because she used the Northern Line when it was in Nidd so had to wait for a connecting surface line service to reverse shunt and get her laterals to allow an exit.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited May 2022


    Whenever I think of the English
    I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    stetson wrote: »


    Whenever I think of the English
    I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish

    Though they’re never much fun

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    Ah sorry @Piglet . Cross post. Go with yours.

    [my previous post deleted - Piglet, Circus host]
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Piglet wrote: »
    Whenever I think of the English
    I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish
    They drink lots of tea
    And then have to pee
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Not at all - yours came up first!

    Mine now deleted.


    Whenever I think of the English
    I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish
    Though they're never much fun
    They'll be good for a pun
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Piglet wrote: »
    Not at all - yours came up first!

    Mine now deleted.


    Whenever I think of the English
    I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish
    Though they're never much fun
    They'll be good for a pun

    And they make me go groany and dingle-ish.

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    I'll finish Piglet's...

    Whenever I think of the English
    I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish
    They drink lots of tea
    And then have to pee
    In the streets of Madrid - so distinguished.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    The French are a different matter
    Refined but as mad as a hatter
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    The French are a different matter
    Refined but as mad as a hatter
    Drinking wine by the Seine
    It goes straight to their brain





  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    The French are a different matter
    Refined but as mad as a hatter
    Drinking wine by the Seine
    It goes straight to their brain
    And provokes deconstructionist chatter.








  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited May 2022
    A French thinking man, Jean-Paul Sartre,
    Once climbed up the hill of Montmartre
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    To return to an original:

    There was a young man from Cape Horn
    Who wished that he'd never been born.
    And he needn't have been
    If his father had seen
    That the end of the frenchie was torn.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Meanwhile, we're still here:
    Wesley J wrote: »
    A French thinking man, Jean-Paul Sartre,
    Once climbed up the hill of Montmartre
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    A French thinking man, Jean-Paul Sartre,
    Once climbed up the hill of Montmartre
    Then nausea hit
    And he felt like real shit
    With no exit through which to depart.

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited May 2022

    An astrologer said to a Libra
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    An astrologer said to a Libra
    You are covered in stripes like a Zebra
    I know what this means
    - subsist wholly on Beans
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    An astrologer said to a Libra
    You are covered in stripes like a Zebra
    I know what this means
    - subsist wholly on Beans
    And switch from a D to a C-bra

  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    ^ :lol:

    A young woman born under Pisces
    Had a series of troubles and crises
  • A young woman born under Pisces
    Had a series of troubles and crises
    She went to a Shrink
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    A young woman born under Pisces
    Had a series of troubles and crises
    She went to a shrink


  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    A young woman born under Pisces
    Had a series of troubles and crises
    She went to a Shrink
    Who bought her a mink

  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    A young woman born under Pisces
    Had a series of troubles and crises
    She went to a Shrink
    Who bought her a mink
    Which, of course, no admirer despises.
    There was an Old Man full of Woe
    Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was an Old Man full of Woe
    Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
    Which woke up his neighbours

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was an Old Man full of Woe
    Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
    Which woke up his neighbours
    Who pulled out their sabres



  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    There was an Old Man full of Woe
    Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
    Which woke up his neighbours
    Who pulled out their sabres
    And cut off his cries in mid flow.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited May 2022

    I just bought my wife a bikini
    Though she'd asked for a new Lamborghini
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    I just bought my wife a bikini
    Though she'd asked for a new Lamborghini
    I said "That's a good joke
    When I'm practically broke
    Do you think that I'm a f***ing genie?"

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    The Normans in 1066
    Thought the English were nothing but hicks
    So they bumped off their king
    And hauled off their bling
    And made them learn French, just for kicks.
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    In the back of a black London taxi
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    In the back of a black London taxi
    A model had made her legs waxy

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    In the back of a black London taxi
    A model had made her legs waxy
    She said to the driver
    "Got change for a fiver?"


  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    In the back of a black London taxi
    A model had made her legs waxy
    She said to the driver
    "Got change for a fiver?
    If not, you can jump in the back, see?"
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    My girlfriend reads way too much Poe
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited May 2022
    In the back of a black London taxi
    A model had made her legs waxy
    She said to the driver
    "Got change for a fiver?"
    No charge. He'd studied chaetotaxy.


    Oops - stetson's version is much better. - Not an easy one, I found, and perhaps not the best ending, as somewhat laboured. At least it makes sense to some extent, even though the word 'chaetotaxy' is a bit obscure.

    My girlfriend reads way too much Poe
    When I recently stubbed my toe
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    My girlfriend reads way too much Poe
    When I recently stubbed my [big] toe
    She built me a Tomb
    To give me some room
    In which to shout and scream O!

    (word added in [ ] to scan better - hope that's OK)
    There was an Old Lady of Surrey
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    There was an Old Lady of Surrey
    Who wanted to watch Andy Murray
    Made her way to the court
    With the ticket she'd bought
    But got lost, so she went for a curry

  • The was a Young Person of Dent
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited May 2022
    Oops, sorry - continue with BF's.

    Andy Murray, whose game was victorious
    And whose love for curry notorious
    Once met an old lady
    Who him recognised maybe
    It would have been her curry most glorious.

    The was a Young Person of Dent
    Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    @Bishops Finger

    Well done. I was actually going through the canon myself, but with that story, I got stuck on rhymes to do with wine and sherry, which didn't really work.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    The was a Young Person of Dent
    Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
    So he prayed to St. Jude

  • There was a Young Person of Dent
    Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
    So he prayed to St. Jude
    Who was really quite rude
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was a Young Person of Dent
    Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
    So he prayed to St. Jude
    Who was really quite rude:
    "Get over it, buddy. It's Lent."


  • There was an Old Person of Rimini
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    There was an Old Person of Rimini
    Whose manner was niminy-piminy
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was an Old Person of Rimini
    Whose manner was niminy-piminy
    But not namby-pamby


  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    There was an Old Person of Rimini
    Whose manner was niminy-piminy
    But not namby-pamby
    Or skinny, like Bambi,
    But good, like a cricket called Jiminy.

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