A woman from Mornington Crescent
Bought her brother a valuable present
The original boxed set
The best you could get
Of this, of all games most pleasant.*
*She missed his birthday though because she used the Northern Line when it was in Nidd so had to wait for a connecting surface line service to reverse shunt and get her laterals to allow an exit.
Whenever I think of the English
I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish
They drink lots of tea
And then have to pee
In the streets of Madrid - so distinguished.
The French are a different matter
Refined but as mad as a hatter
Drinking wine by the Seine
It goes straight to their brain
And provokes deconstructionist chatter.
There was a young man from Cape Horn
Who wished that he'd never been born.
And he needn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the frenchie was torn.
A French thinking man, Jean-Paul Sartre,
Once climbed up the hill of Montmartre
Then nausea hit
And he felt like real shit
With no exit through which to depart.
A young woman born under Pisces
Had a series of troubles and crises
She went to a Shrink
Who bought her a mink
Which, of course, no admirer despises.
There was an Old Man full of Woe
Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
There was an Old Man full of Woe
Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
Which woke up his neighbours
Who pulled out their sabres
And cut off his cries in mid flow.
I just bought my wife a bikini
Though she'd asked for a new Lamborghini
I said "That's a good joke
When I'm practically broke
Do you think that I'm a f***ing genie?"
The Normans in 1066
Thought the English were nothing but hicks
So they bumped off their king
And hauled off their bling
And made them learn French, just for kicks.
In the back of a black London taxi
A model had made her legs waxy
She said to the driver
"Got change for a fiver?
If not, you can jump in the back, see?"
In the back of a black London taxi
A model had made her legs waxy
She said to the driver
"Got change for a fiver?"
No charge. He'd studied chaetotaxy.
Oops - stetson's version is much better. - Not an easy one, I found, and perhaps not the best ending, as somewhat laboured. At least it makes sense to some extent, even though the word 'chaetotaxy' is a bit obscure.
My girlfriend reads way too much Poe
When I recently stubbed my toe
There was an Old Lady of Surrey
Who wanted to watch Andy Murray
Made her way to the court
With the ticket she'd bought
But got lost, so she went for a curry
Andy Murray, whose game was victorious
And whose love for curry notorious
Once met an old lady
Who him recognised maybe
It would have been her curry most glorious.
The was a Young Person of Dent
Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
Well done. I was actually going through the canon myself, but with that story, I got stuck on rhymes to do with wine and sherry, which didn't really work.
There was a Young Person of Dent
Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
So he prayed to St. Jude
Who was really quite rude:
"Get over it, buddy. It's Lent."
Comments
A woman from Mornington Crescent
Bought her brother a valuable present
Bought her brother a valuable present
The original boxed set
The best you could get
Of this, of all games most pleasant.*
*She missed his birthday though because she used the Northern Line when it was in Nidd so had to wait for a connecting surface line service to reverse shunt and get her laterals to allow an exit.
Whenever I think of the English
I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish
Though they’re never much fun
[my previous post deleted - Piglet, Circus host]
Mine now deleted.
Whenever I think of the English
I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish
Though they're never much fun
They'll be good for a pun
And they make me go groany and dingle-ish.
Whenever I think of the English
I start feeling giddy and tingle-ish
They drink lots of tea
And then have to pee
In the streets of Madrid - so distinguished.
Refined but as mad as a hatter
Refined but as mad as a hatter
Drinking wine by the Seine
It goes straight to their brain
Refined but as mad as a hatter
Drinking wine by the Seine
It goes straight to their brain
And provokes deconstructionist chatter.
Once climbed up the hill of Montmartre
There was a young man from Cape Horn
Who wished that he'd never been born.
And he needn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the frenchie was torn.
Once climbed up the hill of Montmartre
Then nausea hit
And he felt like real shit
With no exit through which to depart.
An astrologer said to a Libra
You are covered in stripes like a Zebra
I know what this means
- subsist wholly on Beans
You are covered in stripes like a Zebra
I know what this means
- subsist wholly on Beans
And switch from a D to a C-bra
A young woman born under Pisces
Had a series of troubles and crises
Had a series of troubles and crises
She went to a Shrink
Had a series of troubles and crises
She went to a shrink
Had a series of troubles and crises
She went to a Shrink
Who bought her a mink
Had a series of troubles and crises
She went to a Shrink
Who bought her a mink
Which, of course, no admirer despises.
There was an Old Man full of Woe
Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
Which woke up his neighbours
Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
Which woke up his neighbours
Who pulled out their sabres
Who cried out O! O! O! O! O!
Which woke up his neighbours
Who pulled out their sabres
And cut off his cries in mid flow.
I just bought my wife a bikini
Though she'd asked for a new Lamborghini
Though she'd asked for a new Lamborghini
I said "That's a good joke
When I'm practically broke
Do you think that I'm a f***ing genie?"
Thought the English were nothing but hicks
So they bumped off their king
And hauled off their bling
And made them learn French, just for kicks.
A model had made her legs waxy
A model had made her legs waxy
She said to the driver
"Got change for a fiver?"
A model had made her legs waxy
She said to the driver
"Got change for a fiver?
If not, you can jump in the back, see?"
A model had made her legs waxy
She said to the driver
"Got change for a fiver?"
No charge. He'd studied chaetotaxy.
Oops - stetson's version is much better. - Not an easy one, I found, and perhaps not the best ending, as somewhat laboured. At least it makes sense to some extent, even though the word 'chaetotaxy' is a bit obscure.
My girlfriend reads way too much Poe
When I recently stubbed my toe
When I recently stubbed my [big] toe
She built me a Tomb
To give me some room
In which to shout and scream O!
(word added in [ ] to scan better - hope that's OK)
There was an Old Lady of Surrey
Who wanted to watch Andy Murray
Made her way to the court
With the ticket she'd bought
But got lost, so she went for a curry
Andy Murray, whose game was victorious
And whose love for curry notorious
Once met an old lady
Who him recognised maybe
It would have been her curry most glorious.
The was a Young Person of Dent
Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
So he prayed to St. Jude
Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
So he prayed to St. Jude
Who was really quite rude
Whose teeth were quite curiously bent
So he prayed to St. Jude
Who was really quite rude:
"Get over it, buddy. It's Lent."
There was an Old Person of Rimini
Whose manner was niminy-piminy
Whose manner was niminy-piminy
But not namby-pamby
Whose manner was niminy-piminy
But not namby-pamby
Or skinny, like Bambi,
But good, like a cricket called Jiminy.