Said Caeser while glaring at Brutus:
Brutē you're not going to shoot us
'Cause guns aren't invented
But Brutus dissented
And went and invented computers.
A Scruffy Old Man on an Ark
There was an Archdeacon from Norwich
Who for breakfast each day had some porridge.
He delighted in oats
And the pure milk of goats
And anything else he could forage
There was an Old Monarch from London
Who loathed all the things that her son done
She sat in her buggy
In weather most muggy
But son got Virus, so t'party's on.
There once was a Dean of St. Paul's
Who constantly got into brawls
He once struck a deacon
Till his nose started leakin'
Over cassock, his beard and the walls.
There once was a rainy street party
There once was a rainy street party
Which tried very hard to be hearty
But the thunder and lightening
Made the whole thing quite frightening
And hard for the party to start-y.
In dense fog, there once was a fight
Between hog and dog with quite great might
The fighting was bad
The tousling was mad
Still don't know who won - it's not right!
There was an Old Person of Windsor
Who had a splinter in his forefinget
So he cursed and he swore,
Stole some gauze from a store,
Then prayed: "Oh, forgive me my sins, sir!"
Comments
Brutē you're not going to shoot us
'Cause guns aren't invented
But Brutus dissented
Brutē you're not going to shoot us
'Cause guns aren't invented
But Brutus dissented
And went and invented computers.
A Scruffy Old Man on an Ark
A Scruffy Old Man on an Ark
had a bite that was worse than his bark.
had a bite that was worse than his bark.
Two dogs got quite scared
Swam as far as they dared
They ended up living in Sark.
Adultery, even a bit.
Adultery, even a bit.
Thou shalt also not kill
Adultery, even a bit.
Thou shalt also not kill
Or on Saturday till
Adultery, even a bit.
Thou shalt also not kill
Or on Saturday till
Or covet your neighbour’s rabbit.
Who wore a dirty old mac
Who sported a dirty old mac
The girls on his route
Thought it really a hoot
Who sported a dirty old mac
The girls on his route
Thought it really a hoot
To whack at his mac on the back
There was an Archdeacon from Norwich
There was an Archdeacon from Norwich
Who for breakfast each day had some porridge.
Who for breakfast each day had some porridge.
He delighted in oats
Who for breakfast each day had some porridge.
He delighted in oats
And the pure milk of goats
Who for breakfast each day had some porridge.
He delighted in oats
And the pure milk of goats
And anything else he could forage
There was an Old Monarch from London
Who loathed all the things that her son done
Who loathed all the things that her son done
She sat in her buggy
In weather most muggy
Who loathed all the things that her son done
She sat in her buggy
In weather most muggy
But son got Virus, so t'party's on.
Who constantly got into brawls
Who constantly got into brawls
He once struck a deacon
Till his nose started leakin'
Who constantly got into brawls
He once struck a deacon
Till his nose started leakin'
Over cassock, his beard and the walls.
There once was a rainy street party
Which tried very hard to be hearty
But the thunder and lightening
Made the whole thing quite frightening
Which tried very hard to be hearty
But the thunder and lightening
Made the whole thing quite frightening
And hard for the party to start-y.
(Idea nicked from Enoch's excellent limerick conclusion here.)
A young cook when making a cake
A young cook when making a cake
Came down with a splitting headache
Came down with a splitting headache
She went back to bed
And wearily said
"I'll ice up that cake when I wake."
An apple fell on Newton's knee
An apple fell on Newton's knee
In the apple he bit
And then it him hit:
It's Gravenstein, not gravity!
Who loved to drink Baby Bio,
Who worked very hard on his bio
Point of order - Brute, not Brutē. 2nd Declension vocative singular short vowel. 😉
There was an Old Man of Ohio
Who worked very hard on his bio
He wrote of his days
And his gardening ways
And the nights he imbibed Baby Bio.
Who challenged a hairier hog
Who challenged a hairier hog
The pair tousled madly
And bit each other badly
Who challenged a hairier hog
The pair tousled madly
And bit each other badly
We don't know who won. There was fog.
Between hog and dog with quite great might
The fighting was bad
The tousling was mad
Still don't know who won - it's not right!
(Sorry.
A dear little Doggie named Dilyn
Was threatened with death by a Villain
Purporting to be
A dear little Doggie named Dilyn
Was threatened with death by a Villain
Purporting to be
The PM of GB
A position he's useless at fillin'
Now, Dilyn, while yelping at Carrie
Crashed into a feline named Larry
Crashed into a feline named Larry
And in bolted Priti
Who yelled "Ship this kitty
Away on an African ferry!"
There was an Old Person of Windsor
Who had a splinter in his forefinger
Who had a splinter in his forefinget
So he cursed and he swore,
Stole some gauze from a store,
Then prayed: "Oh, forgive me my sins, sir!"
There was an Old Man of The Hague
There was an Old Man of The Hague
Who suffered from cold sores and plague