Limerick

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  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    A Lady of old Samarkand
    Once met a snarly young teen and
    They got on so well
    They said, "What the hell"
    And scandalised all Samarkand!

  • The Ruler of old Trebizond
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    The Ruler of old Trebizond
    Had a daughter of whom he was fond.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    The Ruler of old Trebizond
    Had a daughter of whom he was fond
    The Akond of Swat*

    (*pronounced swot, according to Mr Lear)
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    The Ruler of old Trebizond
    Had a daughter of whom he was fond
    The Akond of Swat
    Said he was not
  • kingsfoldkingsfold Shipmate
    The Ruler of old Trebizond
    Had a daughter of whom he was fond
    The Akond of Swat*
    by contrast, was not,
    because she was dark and not blond

  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Two lines, very similar, saying they were posted at the same time!
  • kingsfoldkingsfold Shipmate
    Gee D wrote: »
    Two lines, very similar, saying they were posted at the same time!

    It's either great minds thinking alike, or fools seldom differing.... :wink:
  • :lol:
    Continuing to plagiarise Mr Lear...

    The Pobble without any Toes
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Had once as many as we

    Oh, sorry...



    The Pobble without any Toes
    Left his shoes on the line, and they froze.


  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited May 2022
    The Pobble without any Toes
    Left his shoes on the line, and they froze
    They fell off one by one

    (assuming you mean his toes, and not his shoes? Though it works either way)
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    The Pobble without any Toes
    Left his shoes on the line, and they froze
    They fell off one by one
    Until there were none
    And now he tiptoes on his nose.

  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    edited June 2022
    (Content warning, not safe for work - contains sexually violent imagery and some folk may find it offensive, DT)

    Once a young woman named Alice
    Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
    They found her vagina
    In North Carolina,
    And bits of her tits down in Dallas.

    I’ve hidden the text of this one. You have been warned.

    (ETA warning clarified, content reinstated per styx policy update thread, Doublethink, Admin)
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    edited June 2022
    Please remember the two click rule.

    Thanks,

    Doublethink, Admin

    Advice retracted, see styx policy update thread.

    Doublethink, Admin
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    I’ve seen worse
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited May 2022

    Indeed we shall see monstrous beasties, if we go by this link about chicken-duck-hybrids. I found out when checking whether my Limerick below actually works. In most cases, it is true to nature. But beware, sometimes it is not! (2 clicks, to be on the safe side.)

    There once on a farm where two chicks
    Who didn't know much about clicks
    But they knew about clucks
    And the quacks of the ducks
    And the twain shall indeed never mix.
  • There was an Old Lady of Ware
    Who wore potted Shrimps in her hair
  • DavidDavid Shipmate
    There was an Old Lady of Ware
    Who wore potted Shrimps in her hair

    Carpet, or curtain?
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    There was an Old Lady of Ware
    Who wore potted Shrimps in her hair.
    When it started to smell

  • Raptor EyeRaptor Eye Shipmate
    There was an Old Lady of Ware
    Who wore potted Shrimps in her hair.
    When it started to smell
    She was given a bell
    But the old lady just didn’t care.
  • Raptor EyeRaptor Eye Shipmate
    A slippery character with a cat
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    edited May 2022
    Was blessed with the most remarkable hat
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    A slippery character with a cat
    Was blessed with the most remarkable hat
    But his feline would wear

  • A slippery character with a cat
    Was blessed with the most remarkable hat
    But his feline would wear
    A collar of diamonds rare
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    A slippery character with a cat
    Was blessed with the most remarkable hat
    But his feline would wear
    A collar of diamonds rare
    And an emerald encrusted hat
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    There was a young lady called Alice
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    There was a young lady called Alice
    Who was pining to live in a palace

  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    That turned out to be crystal.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    There was a young lady called Alice
    Who was pining to live in a palace
    That turned out to be crystal
    So she said "Well, my fist'll
    Destroy this with hatred and malice. "
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    You've all heard of Little Miss Muffet
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    You've all heard of Little Miss Muffet
    And how she sat on her tuffet.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    You've all heard of Little Miss Muffet
    And how she sat down on her tuffet.
    A much maligned spider
    Who sat down beside her

    (I've added a word above to make it scan better)
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    You've all heard of Little Miss Muffet
    And how she sat down on her tuffet.
    A much maligned spider
    Who sat down beside her
    Said "This is my tuffet, so stuff it."
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    You've all heard of Little Boy Blue
    You haven't? I'll give you a clue
    He looks after sheep
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    You've all heard of Little Boy Blue
    You haven't? I'll give you a clue
    He looks after sheep
    But then falls asleep
    And each time he loses a few
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 2022

    The same goes for Little Bo Peep
    (supposed to be tending her sheep)
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    The same goes for Little Bo Peep
    (supposed to be tending her sheep)
    When she takes a nap
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    The same goes for Little Bo Peep
    (supposed to be tending her sheep)
    When she takes a nap
    The sheep take a crap
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    The same goes for Little Bo Peep
    (supposed to be tending her sheep)
    When she takes a nap
    The sheep take a crap
    And she may regret falling asleep.
    While walking along by the shore
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    While walking along by the shore
    I looked to the sky and saw Thor

  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    While walking along by the shore
    I looked to the sky and saw Thor
    He went into a shop
    But they'd run out of pop
    So he walked right out, slamming the door.

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    Delete




  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    A lady from South Carolina
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    A lady from South Carolina
    Bought a bird of the species called Myna

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    delete



  • A lady from South Carolina
    Bought a bird of the species called Myna
    She taught it to speak
    Which took her a week
    But its accent could hardly be finer.
    There was an Old Person of Sandwich
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    There was an Old Person of Sandwich
    With hair on the palm of his hand which...

  • There was an Old Person of Sandwich
    With hair on the palm of his hand which
    is the traditional end
    when man's very best friend
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    There was an Old Person of Sandwich
    With hair on the palm of his hand which
    is the traditional end
    when man's very best friend
    Flees the bed all because of a gland itch.

    Said Caeser while glaring at Brutus:
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    Said Caeser while glaring at Brutus:
    Brutē you're not going to shoot us
    'Cause guns aren't invented
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