Sorry, I still don't understand it - where is this joke teased out? No offence taken (teasing is fine) , you understand, but could the stammering joke be explained?
After 45 years of marriage, Bernie is lying on his deathbed and with a tear in his eye he says "Annabel before I die I have to tell you something". She replies "Yes, yes dear anything what is it?"
He starts, "The first year we were together, I caught pneumonia and almost died. You sat by my bed and nursed me back to health." To which the wife nods her head and he continues, "When I lost half my family in the terrible car crash, it was you by my side who kept me going.
When our kids grew up and ran away from home, you sat with me and comforted me! And when I lost everything last year in the fire at the shop, you were right by my side the whole time. Annabel You've been through everything with me." Bernie says,
"So before I die I just want you to know that you're a jinx!"
A young woman falls for a maths nerd and to win his heart pretends to be a virtual AI. But he discovers the truth and becomes angry: "I thought you were imaginary, but you're real!" he says.
I was only listening yesterday to an old John Finnemore Souvenir Programme where it was pointed out that to the Anglophone ear the name "Belgium" is inherently funny because of the sounds.
A farmer's daughter and a farmer's son were married the other day. Instead of lighting a Unity Candle, they poured a little cream from their respective dairies into the same bowl.
I was only listening yesterday to an old John Finnemore Souvenir Programme where it was pointed out that to the Anglophone ear the name "Belgium" is inherently funny because of the sounds.
Thanks to your post, we now know who John Finnemore is - no recollection of hearing of him before. But what is there in the sounds of the name Belgium that makes it inherently funny, more than the sounds in the name England? Or the sound of Shropshire?
Today, a young woman knocked on my door. She asked for a small donation for the swimming pool. I gave her a glass of water. I love supporting the local community.
I was only listening yesterday to an old John Finnemore Souvenir Programme where it was pointed out that to the Anglophone ear the name "Belgium" is inherently funny because of the sounds.
Thanks to your post, we now know who John Finnemore is - no recollection of hearing of him before. But what is there in the sounds of the name Belgium that makes it inherently funny, more than the sounds in the name England? Or the sound of Shropshire?
Sounds a bit like... bum! [/Prince George in Blackadder]
I was only listening yesterday to an old John Finnemore Souvenir Programme where it was pointed out that to the Anglophone ear the name "Belgium" is inherently funny because of the sounds.
Thanks to your post, we now know who John Finnemore is - no recollection of hearing of him before. But what is there in the sounds of the name Belgium that makes it inherently funny, more than the sounds in the name England? Or the sound of Shropshire?
Sounds a bit like... bum! [/Prince George in Blackadder]
It wasn’t Prince George, it was a character in the drinking episode in Blackadder II, also played by Hugh Laurie
I was only listening yesterday to an old John Finnemore Souvenir Programme where it was pointed out that to the Anglophone ear the name "Belgium" is inherently funny because of the sounds.
Thanks to your post, we now know who John Finnemore is - no recollection of hearing of him before. But what is there in the sounds of the name Belgium that makes it inherently funny, more than the sounds in the name England? Or the sound of Shropshire?
It's the plosive B followed by the "jum" ending. There are so many silly ways of saying it by emphasising one, the other, or both. Try using a clear L instead of a dark L in the middle as well.
Well, OK, but you have to remember it gets dark really early here in Winter.
I was only listening yesterday to an old John Finnemore Souvenir Programme where it was pointed out that to the Anglophone ear the name "Belgium" is inherently funny because of the sounds.
Thanks to your post, we now know who John Finnemore is - no recollection of hearing of him before. But what is there in the sounds of the name Belgium that makes it inherently funny, more than the sounds in the name England? Or the sound of Shropshire?
Sounds a bit like... bum! [/Prince George in Blackadder]
It wasn’t Prince George, it was a character in the drinking episode in Blackadder II, also played by Hugh Laurie
Ah, thank you! I had a niggling doubt about the attribution.
Wasn't there a joke about Belgium in The Hitch-Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy? One of the sound versions) In my mind I can hear the word in one of the actors voices.
Wasn't there a joke about Belgium in The Hitch-Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy? One of the sound versions) In my mind I can hear the word in one of the actors voices.
It's the rudest word in the Galaxy, banned everywhere except Earth where it's the name of a country.
Thanks Karl, that's the kind of thing that gets into my head and drives me nuts if I can't recall the context - and I apologise for my bad language to any extra-terrestial life forms reading this thread.
In the original British version, it was an award for the "most gratuitous use of the word f*ck in a serious screenplay". The American publisher wouldn't let Adams use the f-word so in the American edition it was replaced with "Belgium".
In the original British version, it was an award for the "most gratuitous use of the word f*ck in a serious screenplay". The American publisher wouldn't let Adams use the f-word so in the American edition it was replaced with "Belgium".
That was the Rory, which they found at a flying party just after Arthur learnt to fly. It was also the Silver Bail making up part of the Wicket Key to unlock the planet Krikkit.
Cricket is why the Earth is shunned by the rest of the galaxy. 10 grillion guys zilched out in the Krikkit Wars and the English, here on Earth, see fit to make a game about it.
Half way through the morning shift the manager of the warehouse noticed one of his men was crying. “What’s wrong Brian?” he asked. ” It’s my father,” said Brian. I got a phone call this morning to say he’d died.” “Oh that’s terrible,” replied the manager. “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off.” “That’s very kind of you, sir, but no thanks. It’s easier to keep working.” A couple of hours later, the manager was concerned to see that Brian was crying again.
“What’s happened?” he asked. ” I’ve just had a phone call from my brother and his father has died as well,” replied Brian, wiping his eyes..................
In the original British version, it was an award for the "most gratuitous use of the word f*ck in a serious screenplay". The American publisher wouldn't let Adams use the f-word so in the American edition it was replaced with "Belgium".
It's "Belgium" in the radio play which was the first thing in the franchise.
In the original British version, it was an award for the "most gratuitous use of the word f*ck in a serious screenplay". The American publisher wouldn't let Adams use the f-word so in the American edition it was replaced with "Belgium".
It's "Belgium" in the radio play which was the first thing in the franchise.
The scene in question as I recall is from Life, the Universe and Everything which appeared in book form (1982) long before a radio version was done (2003)
Douglas Adams fans - I have just borrowed a recently published book from the library. 42 The wildly Improbable Ideas of Douglas Adams Edited by Kevin Jon Davies. It's a hardback weighing 1918gms.
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.
As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to
anotherlion and says "What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had ....
Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees😂
In the original British version, it was an award for the "most gratuitous use of the word f*ck in a serious screenplay". The American publisher wouldn't let Adams use the f-word so in the American edition it was replaced with "Belgium".
It's "Belgium" in the radio play which was the first thing in the franchise.
The scene in question as I recall is from Life, the Universe and Everything which appeared in book form (1982) long before a radio version was done (2003)
I can't believe I have found even a minute lacuna in @KarlLB 's Hitch-hiker knowledge but this radio transcript from 1980 has the Belgium joke (in a different context).
In the original British version, it was an award for the "most gratuitous use of the word f*ck in a serious screenplay". The American publisher wouldn't let Adams use the f-word so in the American edition it was replaced with "Belgium".
It's "Belgium" in the radio play which was the first thing in the franchise.
The scene in question as I recall is from Life, the Universe and Everything which appeared in book form (1982) long before a radio version was done (2003)
The radio play premiered in 1978. Check your research.
Comments
Why is a garden of legumes a restful place to be? Because of the peas!
Tried icing it...
He starts, "The first year we were together, I caught pneumonia and almost died. You sat by my bed and nursed me back to health." To which the wife nods her head and he continues, "When I lost half my family in the terrible car crash, it was you by my side who kept me going.
When our kids grew up and ran away from home, you sat with me and comforted me! And when I lost everything last year in the fire at the shop, you were right by my side the whole time. Annabel You've been through everything with me." Bernie says,
"So before I die I just want you to know that you're a jinx!"
Q. What do you call a woman who stands in the middle of a tennis court?
A. A net.
To visit his flatmate
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Giraffes 🦒 eating cherries.
Perhaps you can make it up to Hedgehog by giving them their favourite food.
Prickled onions.
Because there’s bugger-all else to do in Belgium
Mick turned and whispered to his wife: "It's self-raising, isn't it?"
Good joke, but couldn't help wondering if it is a 'Carry-on-esque' double entendre .....
A young woman falls for a maths nerd and to win his heart pretends to be a virtual AI. But he discovers the truth and becomes angry: "I thought you were imaginary, but you're real!" he says.
"That's because I only have i-s for you..."
I would take a bullet for my wife, but I would criticize the way she takes me to hospital.
Good joke!
I was only listening yesterday to an old John Finnemore Souvenir Programme where it was pointed out that to the Anglophone ear the name "Belgium" is inherently funny because of the sounds.
They were cream mated.
Thanks to your post, we now know who John Finnemore is - no recollection of hearing of him before. But what is there in the sounds of the name Belgium that makes it inherently funny, more than the sounds in the name England? Or the sound of Shropshire?
Sounds a bit like... bum! [/Prince George in Blackadder]
It wasn’t Prince George, it was a character in the drinking episode in Blackadder II, also played by Hugh Laurie
It's the plosive B followed by the "jum" ending. There are so many silly ways of saying it by emphasising one, the other, or both. Try using a clear L instead of a dark L in the middle as well.
Well, OK, but you have to remember it gets dark really early here in Winter.
Ah, thank you! I had a niggling doubt about the attribution.
It's the rudest word in the Galaxy, banned everywhere except Earth where it's the name of a country.
Apparently we can't possibly know what it means.
I can't believe I have never heard this awesome joke before
If you want a narky guy I noah one
Hebrews it.
No, that's Israeli true.
Cheating on their diet.
Did you hear about the gloomy jack-o'-lantern? It needed to lighten up.
That was the Rory, which they found at a flying party just after Arthur learnt to fly. It was also the Silver Bail making up part of the Wicket Key to unlock the planet Krikkit.
Cricket is why the Earth is shunned by the rest of the galaxy. 10 grillion guys zilched out in the Krikkit Wars and the English, here on Earth, see fit to make a game about it.
“What’s happened?” he asked. ” I’ve just had a phone call from my brother and his father has died as well,” replied Brian, wiping his eyes..................
It's "Belgium" in the radio play which was the first thing in the franchise.
The scene in question as I recall is from Life, the Universe and Everything which appeared in book form (1982) long before a radio version was done (2003)
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.
As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to
anotherlion and says "What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had ....
Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees😂
I can't believe I have found even a minute lacuna in @KarlLB 's Hitch-hiker knowledge but this radio transcript from 1980 has the Belgium joke (in a different context).
Wrap.
The radio play premiered in 1978. Check your research.